Comments on: Apart… http://picklebums.com/2007/09/22/apart/ Tue, 22 May 2012 02:55:17 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: Babyamore (Trish) http://picklebums.com/2007/09/22/apart/comment-page-1/#comment-4786 Babyamore (Trish) Wed, 19 Mar 2008 03:39:07 +0000 http://picklebums.com/?p=305#comment-4786 Kate - what an ordeal for them .I got all teary too. Though my boys are not identical they are always near each other and looking for each other if one is away. I have no advice or information sorry. You might like to check out the AMBA forum or Prof David Hay's website. He is Australia's twin guru. How beautiful to have a friend/sister like that. <a href="http://mylittledrummerboys.blogspot.com/">My Little Drummer boys</a> Kate – what an ordeal for them .I got all teary too.

Though my boys are not identical they are always near each other and looking for each other if one is away.

I have no advice or information sorry.
You might like to check out the AMBA forum or Prof David Hay’s website. He is Australia’s twin guru.

How beautiful to have a friend/sister like that.
My Little Drummer boys

]]> By: pokettiger http://picklebums.com/2007/09/22/apart/comment-page-1/#comment-1800 pokettiger Tue, 25 Sep 2007 20:50:00 +0000 http://picklebums.com/?p=305#comment-1800 There are a number of books out about twins. My husband bought me one called Dancing Naked in Front of the Fridge: And Other Lessons From Twins<br/><br/>It was written by twin sisters - Nancy and Janna and one just happens to have a PhD. You might enjoy it. Here is some more info about it:<br/><br/>by Nancy J. Sipes, Ph.D., and Janna S. Sipes, J.D.<br/>Published by Fairwinds Press<br/><br/>What began as a four-year-old's joyful, naked jig in front of a shiny refrigerator became a unique way to look at life as adults. To identical twins Nancy and Janna Sipes, twinship is like a dance in front of a mirror - each person constantly reflecting off the other. "Dancing Naked" takes you inside twinship and inside yourself for a fascinating view of relationships.<br/><br/>In a highly readible manner, Nancy and Janna talk about their lives as twins, their experiences with twin-topics such as "twinspeak" and the twin bond. They also write of other twins and their unique experiences in life.<br/><br/>This is a marvelous, entertaining book for twins, anyone who is close to twins, and all of us who want to enrich our important relationships. It is a fascinating, joy-filled book.<br/><br/>Includes two appendices. Illustrated.<br/>244 pages, softbound <br/>Chapter Index:<br/><br/>Reflections<br/>Introduction (How and Why to Dance Naked)<br/>A Womb for Two<br/>The Twin Bond<br/>External Forces at Play on the Twin Bond<br/>Twinspeak is a Foreign Language<br/>Two Heads are Better Than One<br/>Twincidence<br/>The Yin and Yang of Twinship<br/>Separate But Equal<br/>When the Bond Breaks<br/>The Earth and the Sky<br/><br/>Appendix I: Twin Map<br/><br/>Appendix II: Tips<br/><br/>Suggested Reading There are a number of books out about twins. My husband bought me one called Dancing Naked in Front of the Fridge: And Other Lessons From Twins

It was written by twin sisters – Nancy and Janna and one just happens to have a PhD. You might enjoy it. Here is some more info about it:

by Nancy J. Sipes, Ph.D., and Janna S. Sipes, J.D.
Published by Fairwinds Press

What began as a four-year-old’s joyful, naked jig in front of a shiny refrigerator became a unique way to look at life as adults. To identical twins Nancy and Janna Sipes, twinship is like a dance in front of a mirror – each person constantly reflecting off the other. “Dancing Naked” takes you inside twinship and inside yourself for a fascinating view of relationships.

In a highly readible manner, Nancy and Janna talk about their lives as twins, their experiences with twin-topics such as “twinspeak” and the twin bond. They also write of other twins and their unique experiences in life.

This is a marvelous, entertaining book for twins, anyone who is close to twins, and all of us who want to enrich our important relationships. It is a fascinating, joy-filled book.

Includes two appendices. Illustrated.
244 pages, softbound
Chapter Index:

Reflections
Introduction (How and Why to Dance Naked)
A Womb for Two
The Twin Bond
External Forces at Play on the Twin Bond
Twinspeak is a Foreign Language
Two Heads are Better Than One
Twincidence
The Yin and Yang of Twinship
Separate But Equal
When the Bond Breaks
The Earth and the Sky

Appendix I: Twin Map

Appendix II: Tips

Suggested Reading

]]> By: Kate http://picklebums.com/2007/09/22/apart/comment-page-1/#comment-1798 Kate Tue, 25 Sep 2007 00:29:00 +0000 http://picklebums.com/?p=305#comment-1798 Yes please a PhD on this! I have no advice. We have the girls sleeping in a double bed at the moment - and I am wondering if this is going to make it harder later on. The thought of them having to be separated at school or anywhere breaks my heart. Yes please a PhD on this! I have no advice. We have the girls sleeping in a double bed at the moment – and I am wondering if this is going to make it harder later on. The thought of them having to be separated at school or anywhere breaks my heart.

]]> By: fazzbech http://picklebums.com/2007/09/22/apart/comment-page-1/#comment-1788 fazzbech Sat, 22 Sep 2007 13:51:00 +0000 http://picklebums.com/?p=305#comment-1788 Wow, all I can do is wish you luck in whatever path you go down. :-) Wow, all I can do is wish you luck in whatever path you go down. :-)

]]> By: Anonymous http://picklebums.com/2007/09/22/apart/comment-page-1/#comment-1787 Anonymous Sat, 22 Sep 2007 10:02:00 +0000 http://picklebums.com/?p=305#comment-1787 Forgot to say most people spend there lives searching for a soul mate, some people are lucky enough to have one in the family J Forgot to say most people spend there lives searching for a soul mate, some people are lucky enough to have one in the family J

]]> By: Anonymous http://picklebums.com/2007/09/22/apart/comment-page-1/#comment-1786 Anonymous Sat, 22 Sep 2007 09:58:00 +0000 http://picklebums.com/?p=305#comment-1786 I sobbed to read your post. I had been worrying about this part all the time Zoe was sick. No experience at all at being a mum but 50+ years of being a sister.<br/>My simple view is that you can never prepare yourself to live without your heart, but the only alternative is that you never have that relationship. It must have been terrible for you as a Mum but what else could you do - you gave Izzy a choice.<br/>The hardest part is when one choses something the other doesn't I am never complete without my special sister. This has been true since she came home from hospital and i was not yet 2.<br/>Occaisionally we have been apart and it was as though part of me was missing - i guess it was But no amount of practice helps Give them plenty of choice but my guess is they will never be totally happy unless they are closely connected. How lucky are they to have someone else in the world who accepts them totally and knows them totally. Me too J I sobbed to read your post. I had been worrying about this part all the time Zoe was sick. No experience at all at being a mum but 50+ years of being a sister.
My simple view is that you can never prepare yourself to live without your heart, but the only alternative is that you never have that relationship. It must have been terrible for you as a Mum but what else could you do – you gave Izzy a choice.
The hardest part is when one choses something the other doesn’t I am never complete without my special sister. This has been true since she came home from hospital and i was not yet 2.
Occaisionally we have been apart and it was as though part of me was missing – i guess it was But no amount of practice helps Give them plenty of choice but my guess is they will never be totally happy unless they are closely connected. How lucky are they to have someone else in the world who accepts them totally and knows them totally. Me too J

]]> By: Leah http://picklebums.com/2007/09/22/apart/comment-page-1/#comment-1785 Leah Sat, 22 Sep 2007 07:11:00 +0000 http://picklebums.com/?p=305#comment-1785 Oh gosh, it really tugs on the old heart strings to think about this, and I'm not their mum!! <br/><br/>If it was me, I would probably encourage but not insist on "positive" separation the same way I do for Audrey and I ... when it is time spent "with" something/one else rather than focusing on the apart, like the instances you talk about when they've chosen different things. <br/><br/>I don't know if it is such a big deal at this age tho, I know how being separate from my Mum felt at this age and I imagine the intensity is the same or worse ... Audrey does a lot better with it than I did, thats for sure. I only didn't pine for Mum when my Dad took me to the park, and he was a very hands on Dad at home all the time, so I think a lot of this is personality driven. Maybe by the time they 7 or 8 they'll be aching to differentiate themselves and it'll all be a moot point. You might be begging them to pay attention to each other lol<br/><br/>By the same token, I can understand it is a bit of a worry to consider a future where minimal separations meant more than being just not their preference ... I imagine you would like to think at an age where the majority of kids have been happily separating from their primary care givers for everyday stuff for a decent period, that they'd be able to be cope independently if required in day to say stuff, even if their preference is together. <br/><br/>But then again, I guess these kind of relationships can't be judged by our singleton measures - we might consider a codependent relationship between adult twins odd and abnormal but the rewards for participants might be beyond our reckoning, the problems as we see them not problematic at all for them.<br/><br/>And I should think they will always be upset if one is shipped off to hospy, even with much more understanding and/or notice :)<br/><br/>Love to read your PhD :) The twin things brings up so many questions of sameness and difference, togetherness, spiritual and matter ... just fascinating and compelling! But not fun for sick little girls who love each other so much!! Oh gosh, it really tugs on the old heart strings to think about this, and I’m not their mum!!

If it was me, I would probably encourage but not insist on “positive” separation the same way I do for Audrey and I … when it is time spent “with” something/one else rather than focusing on the apart, like the instances you talk about when they’ve chosen different things.

I don’t know if it is such a big deal at this age tho, I know how being separate from my Mum felt at this age and I imagine the intensity is the same or worse … Audrey does a lot better with it than I did, thats for sure. I only didn’t pine for Mum when my Dad took me to the park, and he was a very hands on Dad at home all the time, so I think a lot of this is personality driven. Maybe by the time they 7 or 8 they’ll be aching to differentiate themselves and it’ll all be a moot point. You might be begging them to pay attention to each other lol

By the same token, I can understand it is a bit of a worry to consider a future where minimal separations meant more than being just not their preference … I imagine you would like to think at an age where the majority of kids have been happily separating from their primary care givers for everyday stuff for a decent period, that they’d be able to be cope independently if required in day to say stuff, even if their preference is together.

But then again, I guess these kind of relationships can’t be judged by our singleton measures – we might consider a codependent relationship between adult twins odd and abnormal but the rewards for participants might be beyond our reckoning, the problems as we see them not problematic at all for them.

And I should think they will always be upset if one is shipped off to hospy, even with much more understanding and/or notice :)

Love to read your PhD :) The twin things brings up so many questions of sameness and difference, togetherness, spiritual and matter … just fascinating and compelling! But not fun for sick little girls who love each other so much!!

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