Comments on: A Little Bit Apart and a Whole Lot Together…

By: Kate

Kate — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 00:11:24 +0000

You write so well about twins and things we have to encounter. I think you do such a great job with something that has no right and wrong answers. We are facing exactly the same thing too.

By: Babyamore (Trish)

Babyamore (Trish) — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 23:14:31 +0000

What a precious post.

It is one many parents of twins struggle with. I took one of the boys Sam shopping alone last week. He was so concerned when I leaving the shop that we had left his brother behind and kept calling for him.

Joel was at home with Daddy, when he woke up he had a meltdown because he couldn’t find S or me.

They do play apart at playgroup but then suddenly realise the other isn’t near them and they will start calling and looking.

I hear you too on the love hate – and fighting one minute then friends rolling around and giggling the next.It is cute and funny at times.

By: Kelsey

Kelsey — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 16:05:11 +0000

I totally know what you mean ! Y and E are of course not identical but oh so close the longest they have spent apart is about an hour. We try to seperate them but they are not buying it yet maybe in a few years.

By: tiff

tiff — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 10:58:50 +0000

Kate, I so get you on this and my girls are fraternal.
I never wanted to sperate them unless they wanted it. When they went to school I insisted against policy that they stay together and they agreed, so long as I agreed to seperation in year one.
They soon learnt what a bad move that was because Immy and Maddy just could not live without each other at that point.
We had issues with hospitalisation as well and it’s funny now we are going through all of it again with Ivy, maddy, the same girl who had real problems when her twin was in hospital, is falling apart again with every Ivy stint we do.

The girls are quite happy to have time alone now but it wasn’t until they were in oh, about third or forth grade that I noticed they had moved away from that co dependancy you describe. Even now, if they are away from each other for long periods of time, I notice when they are back together they live out of each other’s pockets for a while.

It’s something I don’t really understand but also something that I marvel at and I wonder how different it is going to be with boy/girl twinnies.
Noah came into the hospital today and clambered up onto Ivy’s bed and said, “Ivy, I kiss all the hurts better”. it was so sweet. They just lay together in happy silence.

By: Guera

Guera — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 06:56:23 +0000

I think this is one of those really tricky twin “issues” that must be hard for others who don’t have twins to get. I don’t have twins so I don’t have any answers, but it sounds to me like you are trusting your instincts really well and the girls are probably benefiting from your very considered approach to this. My brother has twins who are not identical (obviously since they are boy and girl) and they are so alike yet so different in so many ways. They are now 8 and in Year 2 (last year) for the first time were put in separate classes, which has been really fantastic for them. My nephew has really developed out of his sister’s shadow and they have quite distinct identities now. It’s so different for all twins though and I agree that the thought of forcing a major separation sounds like a really traumatic thing to do to them.