I’ve been there and done this pregnancy thing a few times now. I’ve read some of those big thick books about pregnancy and of course I’ve been the recipient of loads of advice – some lovely, some not so lovely. Despite all of this I am certainly no expert on this ‘having a baby’ gig…. but it seems to me there are some things no one ever tells you about pregnancy.
It’s not just your ‘front bum’ that is gonna be forever changed.
All things being well and good the baby is going to come out of your vagina, and we all know that pushing something that big out of such a smallish space is going to cause a few changes. Combine that major event with a few other fabulous pregnancy symptoms and there is also a good chance that your bottom is going to be forever changed too. Haemorrhoids anyone? Anal Fissures? And I thought my vagina was going to be sore after that VBAC!?!
Oops, I just pee-ed in my pants a little.
Your midwife, your OB or your hospital physio will tell about pelvic floor exercises after your first baby and you’ll nod dutifully and vow to squeeze and hold 100 times a day… But because no one actually likes to admit to being 30-something with three kids and peeing their pants a little every time they squeeze, cough or jump on the trampoline, it just doesn’t seem so important. But it is!!!
Labour and birth isn’t always long and painful
If you listened to the same horrifying birth stories that I heard before my first pregnancy you would totally think that labour and birth is the longest most painful event you’ll ever be unlucky enough to experience in your whole entire life. The thing is… it’s not always like that.
I have at least two close friends who’s labour was not long… and by not long I mean like, a couple of hours max kind of not long. I’ve now met and heard lovely birth stories from a variety of women and I can personally vouch for the not painful thing.
No, I am not insane, nor was I so hyped up on drugs that I didn’t feel my labour and birth, or remember it. I felt the contractions of Muski’s birth, towards the end they were hard work, sometimes difficult to manage but never super over the top painful. I didn’t feel pain when he crowned (not even that ring of fire thing) nor when he was born…. and he wasn’t a small baby either (4.6kgs or 10lb3oz). I’ve felt more pain with a tooth ache or stomach bug than I did giving birth.
What is that? Am I growing a third leg?
Skin tags – tiny bits of overgrown skin that can pop up in the most awkward places during pregnancy. Supposedly it is the extra hormones that do it, but it is kinda weird to find myself with a tiny flap of skin right where my leg meets my groin, just were the elastic in my undies sit.
I thought my stomach was going to get huge, I’d probably have some back pain from carrying around that huge stomach, and maybe, towards the end I’d have some pelvic discomfort as the baby engaged and things moved around down there. I never imagined that my babies would take up residence in between my ribs and make it their business to shove my rib cage apart at every opportunity. I seem to spend my life trying to shove this baby down a smidge… just a touch.. a little… just get the hell out of my rib cage!
So come on… surely I am not alone here?
Share with me.
Make me feel slightly less insane.
What were/are your weird and wonderful pregnancy experiences that no one ever told you about?
Note – the digi scrap layout above was created with items from Shabby Princess. It is my belly with Muski, haven’t taken any this time around.