Never Ever.

I’d always assumed that I’d have to call an ambulance at some stage.

I thought it might happen for one of the girls if they had a particularly bad asthma attack. Perhaps for a snake bite? Or more likely if my husband had an argument with a power tool.

I never, not even with my over worrying brain, ever thought I’d have to call an ambulance and utter these words… “I think my husband is having a heart attack.”

A heart attack was not on my list of ‘things I’ll probably call the ambulance for one day’…. except that’s exactly what I said into the phone last Wednesday afternoon.

I arrived home from school pick up to find my fit, healthy, non-drinking, non-smoking, ride a bike up the mountain no problems, 37 year old husband on the floor, ashen faced, gasping for breath and complaining of chest pain.
I waited what felt like an eternity for the ambulance to arrive.
I watched as the ambulance drive down our driveway with my husband in the back, while I threw kids in the car and made a phone call that no mother ever wants to receive.
I waited forever in the ER department and then waited some more and couldn’t decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
I took my four children into a very scary resus room to reassure them that their father was going to be ok, despite the fact that I had no idea if I was lying or telling the truth.

Sitting here, looking back it all seems to surreal… yet it is real.

My husband is in hospital with an as yet undiagnosed heart condition that caused his heart to beat way way too fast. It seems he has not had a heart attack as they first thought (which is good), and he is much much better than he was, but they don’t know why his heart is not working correctly. They are doing tests and looking for reasons even more scary than a heart attack.

I refuse to even contemplate life without him, so instead I am busy juggling normal life and hospital visits, talking to much, making jokes at inappropriate moments, playing plants vs zombies and spoiling my children. Anything to distract myself from what could have been, and especially what might be.

So forgive me if I don’t answer your email or if I tweet overly inane and boring things or update my facebook profile with more comments about baby vomit… I’m working on a new normal and hopefully we’ll get there soon.

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Read the comments or scroll down to add your own:

  1. says

    :\

    I hope they figure it out soon hon and that’s it’s not nearly as scary as anything you have imagined.

    huge hugs.

  2. says

    How scary for you all. Praying that the doctors quickly find a treatable cause for your husband’s heart problems. ((Hugs)) to you and your children.

    PS Plants vs Zombies excellent for stress relief. Do you have a Wii Fit Plus? I find throwing snowballs at people on that is another excellent way to reduce stress levels.

  3. says

    Oh gosh, so freaking scary! I am glad he is doing better and that it wasn’t a heart attack, but having your heart beat way too fast isn’t good. Hopefully tests will show something entirely fixable.

    If you need anything that I can help with, please don’t hesitate to ask.

    xxx

  4. says

    OMGoodness Kate. My heart goes out to you ( hopefully not a bad choice of words, said with nothing but good intent ) I can not imagine how Scary that must have been and do hope that they get to the bottom of what you are dealing with here soon. Much love.

  5. says

    Oh Kate, scary stuff. Sounds like you’re all grace under fire. Thinking of you and I hope he has a quick, full recovery, and that the doctors find out ‘why’ very soon.

  6. says

    That is so horrible and scary. And a situation you shouldnt have to face.
    Hang in there. And just keep putting one foot in front of the other for the moment.
    My fingers are crossed that your husband will be back home with you soon.

  7. juniper says

    Oh my gosh Kate, how scary! All my love to you guys as they work out what is going on. ((Hugs))!!!

  8. annette says

    Oh my goodness!!!! How scary, I hope everything goes well and they quickly find out what it is….

  9. says

    Heart things are scary (hearts are a weakness in my family); those phone calls aren’t fun at all. I’m glad you’re holding up OK, and I hope that everything works out just fine.

    I know that I hate it when people say “oh that happened to such and such and this is what happened..”, but…

    A similar thing happened to my uncle while he was at the gym. They sent him to Sydney and put him through stress-tests and all of those fun things, and in the end, he’s being treated with medication, and is absolutely perfectly fine now.

    I hope that it works out that way for your husband too. Take care xox

  10. says

    Oh my goodness, what an awful thing to have to deal with, fingers crossed your husband is going to be fine and you will be back to dealing with the mundanities of daily life as soon as possible! xxx

  11. Nee says

    This is scarily close to home for me, I remember being in the exact situation with Mark. I am sending you all my love. xoxo

  12. Sharon says

    Oh Kate, I’m so sorry to read this post of yours. I have had to make “that” call twice for my husband, and yes, it seems like an eternity for the ambulance to arrive. Fortunately for us both times it was not his heart, but I do feel for you and all that you are going through right now. I hope it all has a good outcome for your family. I will be thinking of you.

  13. fazzbech says

    Oh gosh Kate, I can’t imagine how scary this must be for all of you! My heart goes out to you, and I’ll be thinking of you until your next update. Sending all my get better soon vibes to Si! xoxo

  14. says

    Can’t imagine what you are going through, and hope the kids are dealing with it all okay too and not making life too difficult to manage. Fingers crossed that they can work out what is wrong quickly and that it is something treatable. *hugs*

  15. says

    How scary Kate. I like to talk a lot (and a lot of nonsense) when I am worried or nervous. Hope they can find a way to manage his heart issue. Thinking of you.

  16. says

    Such a frightening experience Kate. Would have rocked you seeing your strong man in such a desperate state. I’m feeling so sad for you. Thinking of you. xx

  17. Amandac says

    Kate I can’t imagine what you are all going through so I’m not sure what best to say other than sending all my positive healing thoughts to your hubby and hope like heck everything works out…. I know what you mean about making jokes when you don’t want to worry – its a great coping mechanism

  18. says

    Kate – you and the kids have been in my prayers, and I am continuing to pray for answers and renewed health for your man. You are much loved online, and we are all here for you. Cath xx

  19. Meta says

    Hey sweetie

    We have been thinking of you and wishing you well over the last week. Take care of you (as well as everyone else). Sending lots of hugs and good vibes so that everything works out ok.

  20. Del says

    Thinking of you all as you head home to find your ‘new normal’. I hope all goes well and you have no more terrifying ambulance calls and long waits in the hospital. Take care..

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