“Mum…. that man said that boys don’t play with dolls, but I do.”
My almost four year old wasn’t upset when he overheard a stranger say that boys don’t play with dolls. He was bewildered and I think on the verge of going over there to correct this man’s obvious miss-information. Because he is a boy, and he most certainly plays with dolls. In fact, he has his own doll (called Doll Doll) who he sleeps with almost every night. And, even his little brother has a doll, so obviously boys DO play with dolls.
He plays with dolls because we have quite a few of them in our house. Along with lots of trucks, Barbies, legos, a doll’s house, an enormous train set and lots of other toys, none of which are labelled as boys or girls toys, they belong to everyone.
He plays with dolls because he enjoys it. Because it is fun.
He plays with dolls because it is a normal, natural, important thing for a young child to copy and act out roles they see adults in their life portraying. Because many men in his life take an active role in caring for our babies and raising our children.
He plays with dolls because he is learning and practising social skills through co-operative dramatic play.
He plays with dolls because so he will become a confident, loving and nurturing father, uncle, big brother, friend and partner.
He plays with dolls so he is able to express his feelings, to love openly and honestly and to know it is ok to show that he cares.
He plays with dolls because he can be anything he wants to be. Because he can choose freely and with confidence his occupation, hobbies and life path.
![[del.icio.us]](http://picklebums.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/delicious.png)
![[Facebook]](http://picklebums.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/facebook.png)
![[StumbleUpon]](http://picklebums.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/stumbleupon.png)
![[Twitter]](http://picklebums.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/twitter.png)
![[Email]](http://picklebums.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/email.png)
{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }
Yep, boys definitely do play with dolls. The Boy played with baby dolls more than his sister ever did. It makes me angry when people perpetuate the myth that boys cannot play with dolls or wear pink etc. Why do people think that boys cannot be caring, gentle souls too.
Gorgeous picture btw!
Brillant post Kate. Annie’s first doll was called ‘Dolly Dolly’ :D
My Boy isn’t very creative when it comes to names… his other favourite soft toy is a cow called… you guessed it – Cow Cow LOL
I find it hard to believe there are still people that would express that opinion even if they really would prefer their own son didn’t! Good on you Muski for knowing he was wrong!
Kate what a fabulous post, my son played with dolls and loved every moment, children need these life skills to be well rounded adjusted children and later on adults.
Really well said, Kate. One of those posts where I’m trying to say something and you’ve already said it all so I’m left with a pathetic “hear hear!”
This post is wonderful. My daughter Anya just told me last night she was embarrassed about sumtin. I expected her to say her braces or her crutches but she revealed it’s because she likes “boy toys” instead of dolls. I told her it is perfectly normal and there is no need to divide or label toys as for girls or for boys.
Tell her she is not alone! My girls are currently obsessed with Star Wars and they LOVE building leg and train tracks. Perhaps my next post should be about why girls should play with ‘boy-ish’ toys LOL
I really love this post. Such a gorgeous picture too.
I have to admit, my boys do have an overdose of trucks and typical ‘boys toys’, but I have bought a doll for my 4yo’s upcoming birthday. I think he will love her. He loves playing with his cousin’s dolls house and it is so lovely to watch the way he take care of his friend’s ‘Suzy’ doll. He likes to play ‘dad’ just like his friend likes to play ‘mum’. Totally natural, worthwhile role-playing and a pleasure for me to watch as his mum : )
My daughter’s favourite doll is called ‘Dolly’ so Mr M is one step more original than her with names!
I agree – seeing my little girl play with dolls, it’s about so much more than dressing them up or doing their hair (not that there’s anything wrong with that either!). It’s about role playing and it’s an amazing outlet for them to make sense of life around them. If I had a boy, I’d make dolls available to him for playing with, too.
Great post and so true! When my son was younger he was so into girl toys. Now he is 8yo and will not touch any of his sisters ‘girl’ stuff…I remind him that he use to love ‘girl’ stuff when he was younger!! He doesn’t believe me! hehehehe
Firstly, love the picture! So cute! It is a type of waldorf doll right??
I want to get a doll for (my) Noah but my husband is against it (and I think that is definitely more his culture as boys/girls have set toys, set roles etc although he is not nearly as uptight about things say, as someone 20 years or more older than him) but I doubt he would say anything much about it or get upset if I just bought one. I really wanted to get him one to have for when we bought Shion home from the hospital but I didn`t like any of the dolls here in Japan (all ugly plastic things) so was waiting. I will look again!
I think Noah would love it- I don`t believe in boys toys and girls toys. In the same way that I don`t think girls enjoy “colouring” more than boys or boys enjoy playing in dirt or with cars/trains more than girls.
Really well said!
Yes, the doll is Steiner style doll. It was made for M when he was a baby. We bought our Noah a similar boy doll for his first Christmas from ecotoys.com.au
It must be hard when culturally everyone is assuming that dolls are only for girls, but maybe your DH would be able to accept a boy doll more easily? Or the Doll that M is hugging is more like a soft toy as he has no real arms and legs just the shape?
Both my boys love playing with dolls, though we don’t actually own any. Watching Nathan at play, life doesn’t seem to get much better than having a doll and a stroller to push her in. :)
I have always believed that every child should have a doll, a toy pram and something to use as blankets. Nurturing seems to come so naturally to small children.
Every boy that comes here plays fairy dress ups and Polly pocket. None seem to mind that we have no cars for them to play with.
Though they do like to play with the train set that my girls never ever touch.
Brilliant post, I totally agree! And a very gorgeous picture of your boy cuddling his doll.
Wonderful, wonderful post Kate.
Beautiful post, Kate! I think this is so important to get out there as so many men assume that their boy playing with dolls will ‘make’ them gay or wussy or so many other ridiculous ideas.
I love this, it is so true and I am glad it is becoming more common for people to acknowlege this fact. Just as I have a train set and cars for my daughter and my niece loves her dinosaurs and bugs, I intend for any future boy we have in the family to have his own dolls and dress ups.
I do not believe in having “boys” toys and “girls” toys. Just as I believe my daughter can wear blue and green :-)
We have dolls available here to everyone (2 girls and a boy), and I’m finding none of them are interested in them very often, except for the occassional Barbie playing. Very rare, though. They’re more likely to pretend to be Barbie themselves. I can’t wait until society moves beyond these stereotypes
I love watching my boy play with dolls. He likes to feed them, take them for walks and read them stories. It’s gorgeous and healthy and ‘right’, and I love watching him use his nurturing side.
My sons have pre-loved cabbage patch dolls which they have loved too …and undressed, breastfed,bathed (well not the cloth body one) and walked in the prams.
I agree it is a healthy thing for boys to play with dolls.
Wonder what people will make of my fairy crown and tutu wearing boy :)
Fantastic post. I love his forthrightness! I have two girls and a boy and it’s my 3 year old boy who has always played with dolls. Much more interested in them than the girls. Particularly with the dolls house. The role playing and imaginitive play is adorable. He also plays with a lovely old wicker pram that belonged to his Dad when he was a boy. His Dad came from a family of all boys too!
P.S. Not sure why I havn’t come across your blog before – have now! Love it!!
I know the munchkin plays with dolls, and I am totally comfortable with that. He just doesn’t have any at home. The bears (almost identical twin teddies) do the job just as well – and have been dressed in nappies and tissue wedding veils, tucked into to cradles, cuddled, been fed bottles and just about anything else, been invited to tea parties etc etc – things that are usually the domain of dolls. No-one looks at the bears sideways (unless they are hanging out of daddy’s pocket or my handbag, which they regularly are).
Children are natural nurturers – whether to dolls, bears or assorted other soft creatures (or hard ones too – he’s tucked the odd truck into bed too!) I don’t think it’s the actual toy that matters, but the learning and experience behind it.
Amen to that. Well written. I have three boys and they all played with dolls. Good on you for your healthy attitude.
Great post & interesting topic.
In our house i’m the only girl lol. I can’t say i’d go out and buy a doll for my son and he has no sisters to get one from. But if he asked me to get him a doll to play with I wouldn’t say no.
{ 1 trackback }