I try not to hold on to regrets as I don’t think they are very helpful. Mostly I try to cut myself some slack and remind myself that I made the best decision I could, or took the best action I could at the time – no regrets. Still, I am sure by the time my life is done there will be at least a handful of things I wish I had done different.
My list of regrets will probably include things like “I wish I was brave enough to bungee jump” or “I wish I learnt how to tight rope walk”. Things that I could have done if I’d really really wanted to, but not earth shattering, life changing, sad making things…. and I am ok with that.
But there are some things that I definitely don’t want to be on my list of regrets…
I don’t want to regret not being in any photos.
I take lots and lots of photos of my family and people I care about, but there are very few photos of me. Partly because I am the one behind the camera, but mostly because I don’t like to have my photo taken. It’s pure vanity – I don’t think I look any good in photos. I need to get over that, because I don’t want my children to grow into adults and look at photos of their childhood that never include me.
I don’t want to regret shouting too much.
Shouting is my biggest failing as a parent. I hate that I shout but when I am in that moment, when my temper is flaring, when I feel like no one is listening, I forget all about trying not to shout and I let fly. I don’t want my children to remember me as the parent who shouted all the time.
I don’t want to regret not spending time with my husband.
We have four small children, life is busy, and it is easy to put my relationship with my husband last. I know he is an adult and that he should be able to understand that right now the kids need to come first, but I don’t want to look back and regret not making the time to kiss him more, cuddle him more, and have more sex.
I don’t want to regret not being brave.
I’m not talking about bungee jumping here, I am talking about every day brave. I don’t want to pike out on trying new things, going places and meeting new people. Home may be warm and safe and easy, but I don’t want to look back and wonder what I might have done and who I might have met if I’d just stepped outside my comfort zone every now and again.
Are there things you don’t want to look back and regret?