Ignoring and Remembering.

April 6, 2012

corn flower

Yesterday was one of those warm, still, days when you can see the heat haze in the distance and hear nothing but the hum of insects.

It was the kind of day that makes you feel like summer could be just beginning, instead of already gone.

It was a day for ignoring, and so I did.

I stood in the garden and ignored reality.
I ignored the creeping darkness and the cool of the evenings.
I pretended my To Do list didn’t exist and that dinner didn’t need to be cooked.

For a moment I denied the rhythm of the seasons and the unending cycle of children who need to be fed.

I am good at ignoring things.

Sometimes I need to ignore things, to pretend that there is no injustice, or hurt, or tomorrow. Sometimes it’s the only way to keep putting one foot in front of another and to get through another day.

I am not proud of it, but it is what it is.

Surely there must be worse things than to guard my sanity with a little ignorance now and then?

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Today the wind is up and the grey clouds have bought rain this evening.

Today there is no denying that it is Autumn and the early darkness brings early bed times and with them, time to remember.

Tonight there is time to let down my guard and stop pretending.

Time to remember the mothers who can’t hold their babies.
The children who know hunger.
The families who are dealing with hard things.

Tonight there is no ignorance, just quiet tears, a little guilt and a nagging feeling that anything I could do would be such a small drop in the ocean of unfairness that it would do no good at all.

Tonight I am tempted to slip back into ignoring, but as I sit her next to my sleeping baby I think of what I would tell my children if they declared there was no point in doing anything, no point in trying, because their actions were not enough.

I would tell them every action, every small thing, every attempt at something done in goodness, love and compassion is worth it. It may not change the world, but every little thing has an effect, however small, and that is important.

So tonight I am remembering…

I am remembering to listen, remember and hug my friends who hurt, even if it is only a cyber hug.
I am remembering to read these important blog posts and share our luck, however small our contribution may be.
I am remembering to post packages and send positive vibes, even if they won’t heal all hurts.

This week I need to remember that any action, however small and insignificant they may, done to help another is worth it… so very very worth it.

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West Africa Food Crisis - Donate now

I am supporting Eden and World Vision and giving to the Emergency Appeal, please feel free to do that same. No matter how small, every bit is important.

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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Alice April 6, 2012 at 10:25 pm

I am also guilty of ignoring things. I guess we all are at some point/ Sometimes it’s what helps me get through whatever challenges I’m going through. Thank you Kate for sharing the people and situations that you’re remembering today…you’ve helped me put some things into perspective today.

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Bright & Precious April 6, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Feeling very much the same way tonight, Kate. Just finished writing my post about remembering and ignoring (kind of!). You have written your feelings so beautifully.

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Hespera's Garden (Kristie) April 6, 2012 at 11:51 pm

I ignore…
I remember…

And I am always thankful for cyber hugs, and the occasional real one. xx love to you. I feel blessed to call you my friend.

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E. April 7, 2012 at 4:44 pm

With all the emotions and good things to come out of the DPC12, I’m actually wondering what to do with my little space in the blogosphere.

It’s posts like this one (and Eden’s etc) reminding me of the good, the raising of awareness, that the blogging community can and does do. Maybe that’s what I should be striving for.

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Tiff April 8, 2012 at 7:02 pm

I am thankful for you xx

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