What do you want for your kids?
When you think about how you want your kids to be, the traits you want them to have, what do you think of?
If you were standing around the corner eavesdropping on a conversation about your child what would you like to hear?
And what about in the future?
How do you want them to be when they grow up?
What sort of words would you like people to use to describe them as adults?
These questions stopped me in my tracks when I read them recently.
What do I want for my kids?
Are the things I want for them right now, the same traits I’d like them to show as adults?
And most importantly, is the way I am raising my kids, are my values and the things I focus on and worry about.. are those the things that will help my kids become who I want them to be?
What do I REALLY want for my kids?
I want them to be confident, resilient, loving, kind, interesting, resourceful…
I want my children to be happy.
Happiness aside, because I wonder how much control I ultimately have over their long term happiness… I am sitting her contemplating whether my parenting is in line with what I want for my kids.
Am I doing the best that I can to raise confident, resilient, loving, kind, interesting, resourceful… and yes, happy… kids?
Am I building them up and helping them feel capable?
Am I letting them take risks and deal with set backs?
Am I loving them unconditionally and expressing that love?
Am I accepting their quirks and fostering their interests, no matter how fleeting or difficult?
Am I equipping them with skills and letting them put them into practice, often?
Sometimes making decisions as a parent is not easy. Sometimes it feels like it is near on impossible to know which way to go when faced with the many cross roads of raising kids. I wonder if taking a moment to think about what I want for my kids might make at least some of these decisions a little easier?
What do you want for your kids?
How are you raising your kids to achieve these ideals?
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
I just want my kids to be happy and to feel (and be) loved. I believe this builds the confidence and self esteem to make the most of life.
This is something I think about regularly. I want similar things for my children but I often feel I’m letting them down in certain areas – could I be more patient, more understanding of their quirks? Thanks for the thought provoking post :)
*sigh*… Some deep questions here ! Yes I could answer and I saw I want them to be happy, be responsible, loyal and a mensch… But I want them to know that they can dream big and be who ever they want to be! I wIll always love them x
I want them to be courteous, so I chastise them for not using their manners. I want them to be honest, so I send them to the naughty corner for lying. I want them to be sensible so I ask them to stop being silly. And every day I question myself, every day I have this nagging feeling that I’m doing it all wrong. Every day I wonder if I should just let them enjoy being children?
This is a fantastic post. I get so caught up in the day to day and forget about the big picture. You reminded me of the words I wrote when my little man was littler about my aspirations for him:
Loving, happy (a lot of the time), empathetic, courageous and witha sense of responsibility (oh, a bit of humour would go a long way in this household)
x.
This post is so appropriate today. When i dropped my 5 year old off at school today there was another girl in her class giving out her birthday invitations. My daughter was waiting for hers adn then there was no invitation for her (my heart broke). The i heard my daughter say Don’t worry I will still invite you to my birthday party. I was so proud of her response but still so sad. My kids have a birthday party every second year and invite their whole class then I won’t be responsible for making another kid feel left out and sad.