We have four crazy, beautiful, infuriating, awesome kids.
We even have the perfect selection, two girls, two boys. Aren’t we clever!?!?
We also have at least one more child than it seems is ‘normal’ judging from the comments that strangers often feel compelled to share.
We have the future sleeping arrangements sorted (boys and girls will share bedrooms when they are ready), we have just enough stools for our new kitchen bench and just enough seats in the Big White Bus to still bring a friend or two home to play.
Logically, four seems to be the right number for us.
Even emotionally I am feeling like four is enough. I often feel stretched with what I already have on my plate, and I am beginning to look forward to the benefits of having older children. And in the back of my mind is the Father Figure’s heart problems, that big scary thing seems reason enough to stop at four.
So four it is.
We are decided.
No more kids at the Pickle Farm.
And yet… there is a little nagging part of me that would like just one more.
To be pregnant again. To grow another human. To hold a tiny baby in my arms. To watch another child grow.
Maybe just one more…
But no. We’ve decided. Four is right for us.
But how do I quiet that little nagging voice??
Will I ever look at a new born baby or a pregnant belly without a little bit of longing?
How do I know if I am really done??
How did you know you were done having kids?
And much love to those of you who don’t get to make this decision yourself for whatever the reason… I do know how lucky I am. :)