Our girls are seven and a half and they LOVE money.

They are so incredibly motivated by the idea of getting money and spending money. They spend hours pouring over junk mail, discussing what they would spend their money on. They spend hours counting their cash and dreaming up ways to earn more. They argue over whether they should pool their money, if they could ever agree on what to buy. Zoe even lies awake at night worrying about what she will spend her money on.

Their current obsession with getting money so they can buy more stuff is driving me insane.

They already have a lot of ‘stuff’… you know… all those tiny fiddly little toys like Party Animals, Polly Pockets, Squeakies, Littlest Pet Shops, and their latest obsession, Sylvaian Families. I’m not really keen on them getting more ‘stuff’, they have more than enough ‘stuff’ already.

But I do want my kids to learn about money. To learn how to save up for things and the value of working hard to earn something you really want. I think all that is important, so I try not to roll my eyes too much when they drool over more bits of colourful plastic crap that the baby will no doubt choke on.

The problem we have, however, is that of balance.

I am happy to ‘pay’ my girls when they do extra chores or other ‘work’ around the house, but there are some things I expect them to do just because they need to look after their own things, and because they are part of our family and I expect them to contribute to the smooth running of our home.

I expect them to put away their own clean clothes. I expect them to clean their room (with help) once in a while. I expect them to help set the table and clear the table. I expect them to empty the dishwasher. I expect them to feed their guinea pigs. I don’t expect anything too monumental, or at least I don’t think I do!

These are things I simply expect them to do, but with their sudden urge to get more and more money I am now faced with a never ending chorus of “how much will you pay me?” Not to mention a look of abject horror and a cry of “what? you expect me to do it… for FREE??? That’s not fair!!”

Kill. Me. Now.

I have to hold myself back from beginning a long and yelly rant on how the world is not fair and I am doing you a favour by getting you used to it now girly… But once I’ve composed myself and swallowed my lecture I try a quick reminder of why we all pitch in to help around out house. This never goes down well.

I’m a big believer in encouraging ‘intrinsic motivation’ – the idea that they want to do something good or helpful or right because it makes them feel good, not because they are going to get a reward of some kind. This is where I think helping around the home falls… it is just something we do because it is the right thing, part of daily life. It used to be this way, but it seems once I paid them to do something I broke my own rule and gave away the chance of ever getting to just help for the goodness of helping ever again.

Help me.

How do un-break my rule?

Are all seven year olds very into money and buying things?

Do I stop paying them to do anything, even those ‘above and beyond’ jobs (they moved 50 bricks on the weekend at 20 cents a brick!)?

Do I start just giving them an amount of pocket money each week, regardless of what chores they do?

How do I instil in them the value of ‘being part of a family means helping look after your own stuff and helping with the running of the house’ and the value of working hard to earn the things you want?

How do you deal with chores and money in your house?

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Burning Question – Do You Pay Your Child for Chores? is a post from: picklebums.com

I have a little bit of birthday money to spend on myself. Not a lot, not enough for a lap top or a new car, but a little bit, to spend on me, just me. But the burning question is – what do I spend it on??

Something I need?
Something I’d get lots of use out of?
Something frivolous?
Shoes?
Clothes?
Books?
But what shoes? What clothes? What books?

It’s such a terrible ‘first world’ problem to have I know, annd I am such a tight ar… ahem… I mean I am thrifty, so I like to get good value for my money, but….

If you had a little bit of money to spend on yourself, what would you buy?

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Burning Question – What would you buy? is a post from: picklebums.com

Brenda from Mummy Time asked me a question….

“What’s the most *ahem* badass thing you’ve ever done in your life?”

Well now lets see…

I once wagged double biology and nicked off home to watch Days of Our Lives.

Um… er…. I accidentally ‘shop lifted’ two tiny pink baby shirts because I’d hung them on the pram handle and forgotten about them when I left K-mart.

Um… you see I am not really the ‘bad ass’ type.

I was pretty square in high school, and I was lucky enough to have pretty cool parents so I never really had anything to rebel against either. In my wild and footloose twenties, I couldn’t quite detach the responsible bit of me all together. So while I had my fair share of ‘drinking till I vomit down the stairs in my best friend’s house’ moments and the occasional ‘try this slightly illegal substance’ I was always the one who managed to magically make sure we had $50 for the taxi ride home and be sober enough to direct the driver safely there.

All of which makes me sound oh so boring…. so I’ve been quietly trawling the dark recesses of my brain trying to remember something really bad ass that I’ve ever done. And here is the best I could come up with…

I broke into a house once.

I was pretty little when I did this… though I can’t remember exactly how old, but I can’t have been much more than 7 or 8.

I was with my brother and some kids who lived in our street and we were going through a phase of likening ourselves to spies or secret agents or something. We were all convinced that a vacant house in our street was occupied by robbers, or hid secret clues or treasures. The house has been empty for a long long time, it was old and run down. We’d scoped out the outside of the house on several occasions coming up with more and more wild stories about it. On this particular occasion we were determined to get a look inside… which was when we discovered a small window was unlocked. Me, being small and the only girl, I was immediately volunteered to go in through the window and open the front door for the others. So, you know, not wanting to be kicked out of the gang, I did.

In through the window, run like buggery to open the front door…. only to find everyone else had gotten scared and run off and left me!!!

And even more disappointing…. the house didn’t have any secrets or treasures… so I shut the front door after myself and went home.

And that is possibly the most bad ass thing I have ever done.
Oh man I am so lame!

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Bad Ass Me? is a post from: picklebums.com

photo by kaibara87 via flickr.

Due to pregnancy induced tiredness I am going to bed a lot earlier these days, going to bed and watching TV, that is. I never used to watch much TV, I’d spend most of my evenings here in front of the computer screen. That was probably a good thing. If nothing else it saved me from ridiculous TV advertising.

The number of ads these days for anti-bacterial this and keep-your-children-safe that is driving me insane!

When did we all become such germaphobes?

My eyes just about roll out of my head as I listen to some well dressed, never a hair out of place, TV mother telling me that if I don’t wash my children’s hands with this hand sanitiser after they touch absolutely everything then I will be sent straight to Bad Mother Prison. That’s if they let me into Bad Mother Prison – they’d probably quarantine me in a bubble when they discover that I actually touch door handles in public places.

I must be covered in germs.
Nasty, insidious, evil, killer bacteria and germs.

My house is surely full of the little buggers since I don’t use anti-bacterial disposable wipes or spray the air with something that ‘deodorises and disinfects’. Don’t come to my house because you will surely die of all the diseases that are festering here.

Sure… I get that using anti-bacterial hand wash is possibly a good thing if you, or your children happen to be immuno-suppressed. I happily squirted that chilly gel on my hands before I entered the NICU to see my baby girls and before I went to visit my father-in-law after his heart transplant.

I’m also all for keeping a certain level of cleanliness, even more so if there is a little nasty running rampant through our house. I don’t let my children suck on the door handle of the public toilet or eat food off the floor in the food court. But what happened to common sense and a good amount of hot water and soap?

I’m not frightened of coming into contact with a few germs. I have plenty of them living quite happily in and on my body right now, doing me no harm whatsoever. I’m also not paranoid about coming into contact with a few everyday diseases. I take the regular precautions to avoid this, but my immune system works fine, and the odd bug here or there isn’t going to kill me, in fact, call me crazy, but it might actually do me some good.

All these ridiculous ’99.8% bacteria free’ products and their associated advertising are just feeding on people’s paranoia and fear to make money. These crazily perfect-looking mothers with their hand wipes and their subconscious little messages that ‘bacteria free’ = clean = good mother….. it really makes my blood boil (hey maybe that will kill all the germs living on me?)!

I guess I just need to turn off the TV and read a book!

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Germaphobic? is a post from: picklebums.com

What do you make for dinner when it is a hot day…. and I mean a really HOT day?

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Burning Question – What’s For Dinner? is a post from: picklebums.com

Our first harvest of broad beans with plenty more to come… but what do I do with them??

Child friendly, no nut, easy recipe suggestions anyone??

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Burning Question – What to do with Broad Beans? is a post from: picklebums.com

We sowed our first round of spring seeds a few weeks back. They are mostly flowers and herbs, and one or two veggies. The lupins began sprouting within a week, followed by the borage and dill, the parsley and, just recently the leeks.

There is still nothing from the cone flowers, the bergamont or the luffas and only one tiny sprout from the lemon balm. It was the same last year – I couldn’t get any of these seeds to grow.

So here’s my burning question…

Is there a trick to growing cone flowers, bergamont, lemon balm and luffa from seed???

Help me oh green thumbed gardener people!

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Burning Questions – Sowing Seeds is a post from: picklebums.com

I have three kids (in case you didn’t know!). Twin girls (who are almost six), and a two year old boy. The girls share a bedroom. The boy still sleeps with us, and because there isn’t any more bedrooms some of his things are in our room, and some in the girl’s room.

The girls are pretty good at sharing and including their brother most of the time, but sometimes they like to go to their room and shut the door. Leaving their little brother screaming, broken hearted, in the hallway. That’s been happening a lot lately.

So here’s the burning question…

Do you let your kids shut their siblings out of their rooms?

What if it is a shared space?

Are kids entitled to their own space? To say they don’t want to be around someone for a while?

How do we teach our kids to ‘not share their space’ with kindness and compassion? And how do you deal with the one who is locked out?

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Burning Questions – Sibling Space is a post from: picklebums.com