I’m so done.
I’m done with saying the same thing twenty times, I’m done with feeling like I jump from one kid crisis to the next, and I am done with it all!
Something has to give. I if I don’t find a way to lessen my load it will bury me.
That’s how I am feeling right now.
Something has to change, and I know from experience that the change that will make the biggest difference, is a change in me.
I took a huge weight off my shoulders by deciding to care less about minor things at the start of the year, and now I’m doing the same with parenting.
I am lightening my load, I am making parenting easier by deciding not to worry about these five things:
I’m going to stop worrying about bed time.
If everyone is tired, and the day is going to hell in a hand basket, and the one thing I can manage is getting dinner on the table and getting everyone off to bed early, then that’s what will happen. Likewise, if we are running a little late with dinner, or everyone is happily engaged with something calm and enjoyable after dinner, then getting to bed even half an hour later won’t hurt anyone.
I make sure my kids have enough time to sleep, I help them to relax and encourage them to get enough sleep, but I don’t need to micromanage sleep any more, and worrying about bedtimes and hours slept is not helpful, so I’m ditching it.
I’m going to stop counting screen time hours.
My kids love their screen activities, but they also love lots of other activities. Sometimes the stuff they do with screens needs limiting, and sometime it doesn’t. Sometimes I need to tell them to put their screens away and do something else, but I don’t need to keep a constant tally of how much screen time each kids has had each day or week. I never manage to keep accurate counts anyway and the it turns into a huge argument and we just don’t need another battle.
I’m giving up counting screen time. The new rule is – if we think you’ve had enough screen time we’ll give you a warning and then we’ll tell you to turn it off, we will accept polite negotiations, but once a limit is set it’s set.
I’m going to stop caring about how messy their bedrooms are.
They have to pick up their rooms so they can be vacuumed once a week (or so), they have to make sure to keep their stuff in their own space (our kids have shared bedrooms), and the ‘no food in the bedrooms’ rule still stands… but what happens within those guidelines is no longer my concern.
Ok, I’ll be honest, it still concerns me, but I’m working on just shutting the door and letting it go!
I’m going to stop stressing over food.
If we eat the same dinner 6 times in a month, I don’t care.
If you don’t want what we are having for dinner, that’s fine there is fruit or yoghurt if you are hungry, get it yourself.
If I pick up cinnamon donuts for afternoon occasionally, that won’t kill us.
If you choose to pack nothing buy rice crackers in your lunch box, so be it.
It’s my job to offer good healthy food (most of the time), it’s not my job to make my kids eat it and I will remember that!
I’m going to stop putting myself dead last.
The season for always being within arms reach of my kids has passed. I can go away for a weekend occasionally, I can go for a walk on my own, I can ask the kids not to interrupt me every five minutes when I am working, and I can tell them to ‘shut the door, go away, and let me play candy crush in peace for half and hour’, and I will.
I will remember that it is good for my kids to see me looking after myself. It is good for them to see me working hard, and following my passions, and enjoying friendships. These are all things I want to role model for my kids and I can’t do that if I never do make time to do any of them. I am ditching the guilt and putting myself on the list.
Are you feeling a bit overwhelmed by everything?
What do you need to ditch to lighten your load a little?