Most of the time I am more than happy with my little lot. My life is not perfect but it’s pretty damn good most of the time. I appreciate how very lucky I am to have all the wonder things I have, to do all the wonderful things I do and to love all the wonderful people I love.
But sometimes…
Every now and then…
When I least expect it…
I find myself battling the green eyed monster.
Envy.
Which is just a slightly nicer word for jealousy.
Regardless of what you call it, it is not pretty. It turns me into a person I’d rather not be. It wastes my time and it stops me from achieving everything I could achieve.
People say that guilt is a wasted emotion but I think jealousy is more so.
There is no pointing wishing I was someone I’m not, wishing I could do things I can’t or wishing I had things I don’t. It doesn’t make me a better person. It doesn’t move me forward. It keeps me stuck, stuck in the nasty place where the green eyed monster lives. It’s dark and smelly and such a colossal waste of time.
Last week I blogged about regrets and I’m adding to my list… I don’t want to regret time wasted feeling jealous.
So I’m going to work on giving up jealousy. When that monster takes up residence here I am going to boot him out, fast. I’m going to focus on how lucky I am and be grateful for all the things I have. Luckily I have lovely bloggers like Kate Says Stuff who posts Thankful Thursdays and Maxabella Loves who posts Grateful Saturdays to remind me to be thankful and to help me kick jealousy to the curb (even if I never remember to join in!).
Do you ever get jealous? (please tell me I am not alone… please!)
What do you do to get rid of the green eyed monster?
{image by Keo101 via flickr}
I get jealous all the time. I feel myself become all balled up and I have to work hard to let it go sometimes. Even though, like you I am very thankful for all that I have.
You are definitely not alone.
It really is such a frustrating emotion…. thank you for telling me I am not alone :)
I used to get jealous… a lot. I think I spent every waking hour being jealous. It’s so exhausting and never leaves you feeling any better.
Thankfully, after a lot of time focussing on what’s good in my life, I no longer feel jealousy… most of the time! Good luck on your quest – it’s really an admirable goal.
We all face the green-eyed monster from time to time. Like you, I am mostly happy with my life, but there are times I’m jealous of those who actually have a break from the kids. Particularly today. Isn’t it pathetic that I’m looking forward (and sad a bit too) that I will have 6 hours a week to myself when the baby goes to preschool next year?
Oh I am envious of the very same thing at the moment… it is tough not having a little time to yourself every now and then!
Definitely – especially when all around me everything is getting sucky.
I agree on Maxabella’s grateful – it puts things back in perspective.
I get ridiculously jealous (bloggers brunch anyone?? Lol). I work very hard to try and tame it, and recognize it comes from a place of insecurity more often than not.
I kept a daily gratitude journal for a few years and that really helped. Findig five things to be grateful for can be hard some days, but having done it for so long I love that I can catch myself in the moment many times a day now and think about how lucky I am.
It really is about feeling insecure…. I get the whole ‘poor me, I never get anything’ going and then feel so stupid I tell myself I don’t serve anything good anyway… hello vicious cycle! Thankfully it doesn’t happen often!
Oh if I get a bloggers brunch invite I’ll swap you for your laptop (so jealous!) LOL
I rarely get jealous but I appreciate the finer things and often wish I have the resources to do the things I like especially travelling. I feel happy for people when I see their travel pics and being confronted by it often push me to do more and be more and SAVE more so someday I can be in their shoes. So sometimes feeling envious can work that way, be a motivator of sort. I guess it’s the overwhelming and all too consuming type that weaves evil.
I’m going to try and turn my green eyed monster into some motivation too… There really is always some positive even in something that seems quite negative, you just have to look for it!
You are definitely not alone. This is one of my biggest struggles, and you’re right, it’s a colossal waste of time! But it’s so easy to do. It’s such a debilitating emotion because there’s nowhere to put it, it just takes up space and weighs you down. Sometimes I feel like that little kid in the playground yelling “not fair! I want what she’s having!” – which makes me realise how ridiculous I’m being.
I guess it’s all about being happy with ourselves and our lives, and practicing gratitude. Yay for the ‘Thankful’ bloggers too!
You know my kids screech “It’s not fair!!” all the time… it’s actually a bit of a wake up call because I know, deep down, they learnt that from me….
You are so not alone. It is a hard emotion to conquer.
So not alone there… To combat it I look for what specifically I’m jealous about (say, my friend’s ability to run a half-marathon), why I’m jealous (because it looks like fun, because I can’t do it), then determine what I could do to feel the same (start doing it)… Then if I decide it’s something I don’t want to invest the time in (because everything involves time…) I usually stop being jealous about it.
That’s probably a bit of a simple view for some of life’s more complicated things, like infertility perhaps, but for the more mundane (more money, thinner, better job etc) it generally works.
That really is a good way to break it all down and really look at it rationally… that is really very helpful! Thank you
Yep, I know the feeling well. There have been days when I’ve been so consumed with jealousy that I felt quite sick. Horrible, horrible felt, and not at all constructive. I think it comes from feeling powerless to effect change – for me anyway. So, I try to focus on the things I can change in my life – sometimes it’s something as small as tidying up, sometimes I sit down and make bigger goals to work towards. Doing something, being active, usually helps me let go of the feeling – at least for a little while.
The lack of control resonates with me too… Often it seems I succumb to envy when I am feeling overwhelmed and like things are out of control. Oddly I find tidying up helps too… if I can just snap out of my funk long enough to actually start! LOL
I could have sworn I left a comment but it seems not. I totally get this, you are not alone!