Some times I wish I’d made different choices.
Maybe the same, or similar, choices to people I know or admire.
I have a friend who home birthed and who home schools… and sometimes I wish I shared those things with her.
They are both things that I think are pretty cool. They are choices that I both respect and admire and sometimes am envious about. I was there, helping with her other two children, when she birthed her last baby and it was entirely amazing and wonderful. I listen to her talk with excitement and anticipation about educating her children and all the cool things they do and I am wistful and wish I could join in.
I’ve met other inspiring, wonderful people who have also made some wonderful, inspiring life choices. Packing up to travel around Australia with their family. Really living a sustainable life, complete with a cow to milk. Moving over seas, living in a tiny apartment in a huge wild city.
I read amazing, inspiring blogs about people doing wonderful things. Taking up amazing offers, working with big companies, making a living from their writing. Standing up and speaking out for what they believe in. Celebrating beautiful small moments in life. Making beautiful choices.
But I’ve made different choices.
Our family has made different choices.
Not better choices.
Not right choices.
Not wrong choices.
Just different choices.
Because I am me and not anyone else. Because my family is my family and no one else’s. So our choices are not their choices.
Our choices belong to us.
Sometimes I question those choices in the green light of my envy or wistfulness. I wonder if I’ve made the wrong choice, or taken the easy way out. Or maybe I am just scared that differing choices will see friends and I grow apart. Or maybe I just want to ‘fit in’ with this crowd or that crowd.
Then I stop and think.
Despite wondering if the grass really is greener or the longing I have to do everything and be everything and have everything (and do it all now)….I have made good choices for me. We have made good choices for our family.
Not perfect choices. We’ve made mistakes and changed our minds and switched plans mid track. We’ve had to re-think and research and learn more. And some choices come with baggage that I wish they didn’t.
But they are our choices and I own them.
There is a strange untapped strength in that ownership that I am only beginning to realise.
Read the comments or scroll down to add your own:
I read recently on another blog (and I’m so annoyed I can’t remember who’s) that the grass is greener where you water it.
Great post. :)
Miss Carly says
I have a guest post coming up on Early Childhood Resources on the 10th.
I make a lot of choices. I decided to extend my degree. I decided to quit the fulltime job I had when my health went bad. I decided to move here. I decide a lot of things about my life.
Like you said, not right or wrong. Just different choices.
Mad Cow says
The best, BEST thing about that (your post), is you’re *owning* your choices, and being responsible for them.
That, for me, is the most admirable, not the choices themselves.
Well done on that realisation xox
There is so much truth in this post, Kate. You are not the only one who is sometimes green at the choices others make. Owning our choices, I like that, and will endeavour to do so more often xx
I think we make the choices that are right for us, whether we realise it at the time or not :)
There aare so many of those choices I wish I could make, but know that, as a family, they are not the right thing also.
My husband is following a dream. He has met and friended so many people through the pursuit of this dream and it is rewarding for him in many ways, and I am glad I helped encourage him to pursue this. But, at this point in time, we don’t see him much. Later, he will be doing what he loves and we will have more time together.
We’ve moved across town to be closer to family. We’ve left behind our friends, but we spend more time with my parents and Princess’ cousins. It’s worth it.
The only choice left to make is whether to have another baby. This is not my choice alone, and it is the hardest one to be made. I hope that is a choice and decision that I will be happy to own.
Great post, Kate.
[email protected] says
sometimes your posts make me wonder if you and i were in fact separated at birth xxx
Love it :)
I love that feeling of contentment when you realize that the choices you have made are the right ones for you and your family.
I think it’s human nature to wonder if the grass is greener-I know I do it a lot.
YOU are perfectly YOU, as are your choices! Great post!
Christie - HomeGrown says
Thanks for your comments on my parenting post, Kate :D
I LOVE this post. I work hard at trying to be happy for other peoples choices and hopefully gaining a bit of inspiration from them, but essentially continuing along my own path. It can be hard at times!
I think you are channelling me on this one. So, so agree. I’m often green-eyed about similar things but at the end of the day, what we choose is all about who we are, as individuals, families and couples.
I am in the process of making some significant choices at the moment. Thanks for reminding me that the focus on making these decisions should be my family and our needs.
keepcatebusy (Cate) says
Amazing post! Really thought provoking xxxCate