Sometimes I really worry about my kids.
More than just the average ‘gee I hope she doesn’t fall out of that tree and break her arm’ kind of worry… A deep down worry, about how they might turn out.
I laugh a lot about ‘scarring my kids for life’, but all jokes aside, I am acutely aware of the influence I have on my children.
Everything we parents do, both consciously and unconsciously influences our children.
That is a huge scary thought which I try to squash down most of the time… but sometimes it pops up and blows my ever-loving little mind.
Right now it is my ‘middle child’, my beautiful big boy, that I am worrying about more than usual.
At the moment, he is my favourite (because you are allowed to have favourites you know). Don’t get me wrong, I don’t love him more than any of the others, it’s just that right now he and I get along really, really well.
He smothers me with cuddles. He looks at me with a twinkle in his eye and mischievous grin on his face. He says funny things. He hardly ever pushes my ‘infuriate’ button. Right now, at almost five, he is delicious.
But I worry about him… a lot.
I worry that I am doing wrong by him.
I worry that our anti-football family will put him at a disadvantage at school next year.
I worry that he won’t make friends.
I worry that he has nothing in common with other boys that he knows because he knows nothing of Ben Ten or Spider Man or super heroes in general.
I worry that he keeps his problems squashed down so far that even he doesn’t really know what is bothering him.
I worry that if I try and ‘fix’ any of these things that I am teaching him that we do not value who he is.
I worry that I shouldn’t even be blogging all of this, in case one day someone googles him and reads this and it causes him angst.
Today he has his first school visit and I am sure many of my worries are fueled by the fact that he will soon turn five and soon be off at school and a little further from my arms, but that doesn’t make then any easier to deal with.
But I guess that is my job right now, to worry about him.
I know that many of the things I worry about could actually be the very best things about my boy… so I squash those worries and I pull him closer and enjoy him for who he is.
Do you worry about your kids?
How to do you deal with those worries?