If you’ve had a bad day.
A day when you have shouted way way way too much. A day when you have been frustrated and let it show. A day when you have forgotten how to be understanding and compassionate. A day when you have said things you shouldn’t have said, done things you shouldn’t have done. A day when your kids cry, because of you.
When you’ve had a day like that, a bad day….
What do you do to reconnect with your child?
After the explanation and the apology. After you have wiped their tears and your own. After you have vowed never ever to have another day like that again. After the day is done…
How do you repair that bond? What do you do to get that closeness back again?
Awwww Kate {{{hugs}}} Been there too, way more often than I would like to admit even too myself.
And you know what, kids are pretty unforgiving, they live in the moment and don’t tend to hold grudges. What do I do, take a deep breath, lots of hugs and remember that tomorrow is a new day and a new chance.
I have no idea…somehow when we wake up, Emily has forgiven me for being a horrid mummy…
Maybe my daughter just has the memory of a goldfish, or maybe she just knows that holding onto the bad stuff is pointless, and that tomorrow is a brand new day.
HUGS
I try to think of a few things that that child especially loves–reading stories, making cookies together, having waffles for lunch, whatever…and then I try to do a bunch of those things all in one day. It helps them remember that I love them (especially when I make comments like “I made waffles because I knwo they’re your favorite:) and my focusing on them i a positive way helps me remember the things I love about them, instead of beign stuck on the things that frustrate me.
Incidentally, my DS and I are both suffering from depression right now. We are having a *lot* of these ‘try to make him feel loved’ days lately. ;)
I’ll make great eye contact with my toddler and try to softly beam love through my eyes.
It’s tough. You are not alone. Remember, you are awesome. Forgive yourself. Go and play.
A sorry and a hug goes a long way here :)
Lots of HUGS Kate, going through these days here too. lots of cuddles, apologies and really enjoying each other when there isn’t the yelling and screaming from the crack of dawn. HUGS tis too shall pass
Also I forgot to add do you get the daily groove by Scott Noelle http://www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove they are absolutely fantastic I find they come in just before I head to bed of an evening and are the perfect end to those crappy days once we have done what we can to heal things with our children and need that bit of a pick me up to let go ourselves.
After a day like that, when they are in bed, I have cup of tea and sneak a peek at them sleeping and sometimes whisper in their ears how much I love them. ((HUGS)) The next day is usually better. xx
For us it’s lots of physical touch – cuddles and hand-holding and forhead-kisses and just pats on the head/arm/leg.
And also, letting them help me with some things – I think they feel really connected with me when we working together on baking something, folding washing, or creating soemthing together.
Oh gosh…in so many ways. I love to snuggle up and read a book or watch something together on the couch, but the other day after some mama madness I actually made icecream cones with sprinkles. Hey they didn’t know it was borne of guilt…(((hugs)))
Oh love reading all the comments on this.
Around here its lots of cuddles, and apologies, and chocolate, lol And sitting down and playing with them, forgetting everything else that needs doing even just for 10 mins.
I usually have days like this when I try to spend the day in my head. That is when I’m not really present with the children and so they frustrate me.. So, if we’re having a hard day I try to get myself to really engage with them…
Hugs and stories on the couch really helps. Also if I lie down on the floor, it’s only a matter of minutes before a small person wants to come and play. Some giggles and tickles and boisterous play on the carpet is fun. I find if we can laugh together it really helps.
Give ’em a big HUG! They will love it, and so will you!
An apology & hugs still work well at our place, followed by an early night for me (usually the source of most of my inability to deal with everything) & the day after I try to make some time to spend one-on-one with them, even if it’s just taking a bath together after Dad gets home.
I think we all have these days, some just don’t mention them!
I don’t think there is any mum who hasn’t had a day like that. Apologies from mum or dad go a long way with children and they are amazingly forgiving.