I’ve been making lots of stupid mistakes lately.
Nothing earth shattering. No one is dead and the only life I’ve ‘totally ruined’ is Izzy’s and she seems to get over that pretty quickly.
But I’ve mixed up times and forgotten things. I’ve broken things and lost things. I’ve said or done things before my brain has had time to kick in and warn me not to. It seems I have been falling over my own feet in the race to do the next stupid thing.
And when I make a stupid mistake all the other stupid mistakes I’ve made come flooding back to me and suddenly it seems as though my whole life is one great, big, stupid, mistake. It seems like I can’t do anything right, and I am doomed to be an idiot forever.
My life is not one great big mistake. I do know that.
I also know that I do lots of things right and I am not a total idiot.
I do know these things, but I have to work hard to remind myself of them sometimes.
That bugs me.
Why am I so quick to remember all the negatives?
Why do I hang on to all the mistakes I’ve made instead of learning from them and letting them go?
Why do the mistakes come flooding back instead of all the good and right things I’ve done?
Why do I have this impending sense of doom, as if the biggest, most stupid mistake is still yet to come?
{image by Alex Proimos via flickr}
I can so relate to this! I’ve been a little bit mistake-heavy of late and somehow it just stays with me for way too long and makes me feel like mistakes are all that I’ve made. Why don’t the awesome things stay with me that way? Maybe it’s because deep down I have a low opinion of myself and I only give time and attention to the things that affirm that opinion. Which is just slightly scary.
hon,you have a lot on your plate ATM…..4 little kids including a baby.
we ALL make mistakes….try not to linger on them.
Maybe when you do make a mistake (and we all do) purposely think of something good that you have done recently.
you are a fabulous mumma to 4 gorgeous kids.
hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs
I’m tired. So incredibly tired with the end of year and moving and renovating and everything else that seems to be happening. So yeah, a lot of mistakes, I’m sure you have equally good reasons!
I think part of the problem is we are actively taught not to appreciate ourselves. We’re too scared it will look like we’re showing off or conceited or putting other people down to acknowledge the good things, so we’ve only got the negatives to fall back on. And they just prove that we have nothing to show off about, because if we were that good we wouldn’t have made the mistake.
So rather than trying to stop focusing on the negatives, I try to make sure I acknowledge and compliment myself when I do a good job and say I’m really proud of myself. It helps sometimes.
You’re not alone on this Kate – I feel exactly the same at times. xxx
Oh Kate. I totally get what you’re saying. Just go easy on yourself. Try okay?xx
Oh dude. We all get into these downward spirals. I am sure you could easily list just as many fabulous gestures as mistakes in the past few weeks. I am a glass half empty type too (and it is very annoying). Chin up, the end of the year is nigh and you can start again in 2011.
PS Your Christmas tree looks tops!
I think it is that time of year. The kids are over-excited, the organizing of the “Big Day” is generally up to us, added with the shutting down of our regular routines, and the need to still get things done.
And, as Deb said, we always put ourselves last and don’t appreciate what we do, and how we do it right.
So, at the moment, it is tough, but if we make it through the day with our heads still facing the right direction, then it has to be good, yes?
Husband and I are both in that place ATM and we are struggling to get out of it. Being tired and stressed makes it all worse.
I’m just glad I stepped away from twitter after locking myself out of the house right on school pick up time this week. Because the things I was saying about myself were not pretty.
I’m tired. So incredibly tired with the end of year and moving and renovating and everything else that seems to be happening. So yeah, a lot of mistakes, I’m sure you have equally good reasons! I think part of the problem is we are actively taught not to appreciate ourselves. We’re too scared it will look like we’re showing off or conceited or putting other people down to acknowledge the good things, so we’ve only got the negatives to fall back on. And they just prove that we have nothing to show off about, because if we were that good we wouldn’t have made the mistake. So rather than trying to stop focusing on the negatives, I try to make sure I acknowledge and compliment myself when I do a good job and say I’m really proud of myself. It helps sometimes.