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Never Ever.

Posted on February 21, 2011

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I’d always assumed that I’d have to call an ambulance at some stage.

I thought it might happen for one of the girls if they had a particularly bad asthma attack. Perhaps for a snake bite? Or more likely if my husband had an argument with a power tool.

I never, not even with my over worrying brain, ever thought I’d have to call an ambulance and utter these words… “I think my husband is having a heart attack.”

A heart attack was not on my list of ‘things I’ll probably call the ambulance for one day’…. except that’s exactly what I said into the phone last Wednesday afternoon.

I arrived home from school pick up to find my fit, healthy, non-drinking, non-smoking, ride a bike up the mountain no problems, 37 year old husband on the floor, ashen faced, gasping for breath and complaining of chest pain.
I waited what felt like an eternity for the ambulance to arrive.
I watched as the ambulance drive down our driveway with my husband in the back, while I threw kids in the car and made a phone call that no mother ever wants to receive.
I waited forever in the ER department and then waited some more and couldn’t decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
I took my four children into a very scary resus room to reassure them that their father was going to be ok, despite the fact that I had no idea if I was lying or telling the truth.

Sitting here, looking back it all seems to surreal… yet it is real.

My husband is in hospital with an as yet undiagnosed heart condition that caused his heart to beat way way too fast. It seems he has not had a heart attack as they first thought (which is good), and he is much much better than he was, but they don’t know why his heart is not working correctly. They are doing tests and looking for reasons even more scary than a heart attack.

I refuse to even contemplate life without him, so instead I am busy juggling normal life and hospital visits, talking to much, making jokes at inappropriate moments, playing plants vs zombies and spoiling my children. Anything to distract myself from what could have been, and especially what might be.

So forgive me if I don’t answer your email or if I tweet overly inane and boring things or update my facebook profile with more comments about baby vomit… I’m working on a new normal and hopefully we’ll get there soon.

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Filed Under: Farm Tales, The Baldy Boy Tagged With: family, picklemekate

Read the comments or scroll down to add your own:

  1. life in a pink fibro says

    Oh no. How scary Kate. Have everything crossed that all goes well.

  2. Fiona says

    oh hun.

    thinking of you guys. take care xox

  3. Beet says

    :\

    I hope they figure it out soon hon and that’s it’s not nearly as scary as anything you have imagined.

    huge hugs.

  4. BabyMacBeth says

    Oh no! Hope everything turns out OK….thinking of you.

  5. Tina ~ tina gray dot me says

    Oh, Kate! How scary for you all. Thinking of you and hoping everything is ok! xx

  6. Susan @ Reading Upside Down says

    How scary for you all. Praying that the doctors quickly find a treatable cause for your husband’s heart problems. ((Hugs)) to you and your children.

    PS Plants vs Zombies excellent for stress relief. Do you have a Wii Fit Plus? I find throwing snowballs at people on that is another excellent way to reduce stress levels.

  7. Zoey @ Good Goog says

    I’m so sorry Kate. What a scary thing to be going through. I’ll be sending you all my best wishes and positive thoughts.

  8. Kate says

    All our love to you Kate. I’m so so sorry you guys are dealing with this. xox.

  9. Jayne says

    (((hugs)))
    Hope they get your husband sorted and back on his feet asap xxx

  10. Megan at Writing Out Loud says

    Oh, Kate. I hope everything is figured out soon and he’s up and about with you in no time.

    Thinking of you. xx

  11. nic says

    Lots of hugs to you kate xxx

  12. Veronica says

    Oh gosh, so freaking scary! I am glad he is doing better and that it wasn’t a heart attack, but having your heart beat way too fast isn’t good. Hopefully tests will show something entirely fixable.

    If you need anything that I can help with, please don’t hesitate to ask.

    xxx

  13. Tammy says

    OMGoodness Kate. My heart goes out to you ( hopefully not a bad choice of words, said with nothing but good intent ) I can not imagine how Scary that must have been and do hope that they get to the bottom of what you are dealing with here soon. Much love.

  14. Me 'N my Monkeys says

    Ohh, How Scary that must have been. Hope he gets better soon! ((Hugs))

  15. Sarah says

    Oh Kate, scary stuff. Sounds like you’re all grace under fire. Thinking of you and I hope he has a quick, full recovery, and that the doctors find out ‘why’ very soon.

  16. Sarah says

    That is so horrible and scary. And a situation you shouldnt have to face.
    Hang in there. And just keep putting one foot in front of the other for the moment.
    My fingers are crossed that your husband will be back home with you soon.

  17. juniper says

    Oh my gosh Kate, how scary! All my love to you guys as they work out what is going on. ((Hugs))!!!

  18. Kellie says

    Thinking of you, Kate!

  19. Sif says

    HUGE HUGS!!! That is so scary! I hope it is something they can do something about!

  20. Cass says

    Praying for you all Kate xox

  21. annette says

    Oh my goodness!!!! How scary, I hope everything goes well and they quickly find out what it is….

  22. Tenille @ Help!Mum says

    Heart things are scary (hearts are a weakness in my family); those phone calls aren’t fun at all. I’m glad you’re holding up OK, and I hope that everything works out just fine.

    I know that I hate it when people say “oh that happened to such and such and this is what happened..”, but…

    A similar thing happened to my uncle while he was at the gym. They sent him to Sydney and put him through stress-tests and all of those fun things, and in the end, he’s being treated with medication, and is absolutely perfectly fine now.

    I hope that it works out that way for your husband too. Take care xox

  23. Shae says

    So much love xoxo

  24. Super Sarah says

    Oh my goodness, what an awful thing to have to deal with, fingers crossed your husband is going to be fine and you will be back to dealing with the mundanities of daily life as soon as possible! xxx

  25. Kylie says

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family Kate xo

  26. Pixie says

    oh sweetie,
    Im so sorry.I am glad you got him help so quickly.

    hoping it isnt anything nasty.

    hugs

  27. Katy says

    Oh Kate, I’m so sorry! I hope they can find out the cause of the pain soon, and that he is on the path to recovery.

  28. Kate says

    Eek, hope they find a simple reason and fix it soon. xx

  29. Marita says

    Oh Kate! I’m so sorry this is happening to your family. Prayers and positive vibes for you all.

  30. Louisa says

    oh kate. how awful and terrifying. hoping and praying everything turns out ok and you know what the deal is soon.

  31. Nee says

    This is scarily close to home for me, I remember being in the exact situation with Mark. I am sending you all my love. xoxo

  32. Tricia says

    Oh No! Sending you lots of positive energy. Thinking of you and your family. Tricia xx

  33. Brenda says

    Sending you hugs and wishing a speedy recovery for your husband.xx

  34. Jess says

    Thinking of you and yours Kate xxoo

  35. Sharon says

    Oh Kate, I’m so sorry to read this post of yours. I have had to make “that” call twice for my husband, and yes, it seems like an eternity for the ambulance to arrive. Fortunately for us both times it was not his heart, but I do feel for you and all that you are going through right now. I hope it all has a good outcome for your family. I will be thinking of you.

  36. Katrina says

    You r so strong. Thinking of u and ur family wishing ur husband good health and relaxation xx

  37. fazzbech says

    Oh gosh Kate, I can’t imagine how scary this must be for all of you! My heart goes out to you, and I’ll be thinking of you until your next update. Sending all my get better soon vibes to Si! xoxo

  38. Christie says

    Hugs and a ‘listening ear’ whenever you need distracting xx

  39. Jayne says

    OMG Kate how awful for you all. Thinking of you and sending healing, love & light.

  40. Claire Chadwick @ Scissors Paper Rock says

    Yikes! Sorry to hear Kate :(
    Sending you lots of well-wishes & positive thoughts!
    xo

  41. amandab says

    Can’t imagine what you are going through, and hope the kids are dealing with it all okay too and not making life too difficult to manage. Fingers crossed that they can work out what is wrong quickly and that it is something treatable. *hugs*

  42. ClaireyH says

    This had me holding my breath from the start.

    I hope he is home soon and the reason is an easy one to fix.

  43. Tiff says

    Hugs. Hoping they find the cause and can treat him. Hoping you find some normality soon.

  44. Caroline B says

    OMG! thinking of you guys *hugs* hope they can give u answers soon hun.

  45. PlanningQueen says

    How scary Kate. I like to talk a lot (and a lot of nonsense) when I am worried or nervous. Hope they can find a way to manage his heart issue. Thinking of you.

  46. DebF says

    praying like crazy, hoping for a good outcome to this. absolutely surrounding you with love.

  47. Missy Boo says

    Thinking of you and your family. Hoping it’s nothing to serious xxx

  48. CraftyMummy says

    Hi Kate I don’t know whether you’re a praying kind of lady, but I am, so I am praying for you and your kids and especially your husband.

  49. Kelly B says

    Such a frightening experience Kate. Would have rocked you seeing your strong man in such a desperate state. I’m feeling so sad for you. Thinking of you. xx

  50. monica peapod says

    kate! how terrifying! praying everything goes well and you don’t EVER have another such scare.

    ((hugs))

  51. Veggie Mama says

    You do what you have to. I’ll be thinking of you all xox

  52. Amandac says

    Kate I can’t imagine what you are all going through so I’m not sure what best to say other than sending all my positive healing thoughts to your hubby and hope like heck everything works out…. I know what you mean about making jokes when you don’t want to worry – its a great coping mechanism

  53. Inner Pickle says

    holy crapola Kate, I just read this now, hope he’s OK? Thinking of you… bloddy ‘ell.

  54. bek says

    Blergh :S How’s he doing now? How are you doing now? Hope you’re all okay :|

  55. Kylie says

    KAte – a thousand hugs to you all. Thinking of you and sending you whatever vibes you are needing. xoxoxox

  56. SquiggleMum says

    Kate – you and the kids have been in my prayers, and I am continuing to pray for answers and renewed health for your man. You are much loved online, and we are all here for you. Cath xx

  57. Meta says

    Hey sweetie

    We have been thinking of you and wishing you well over the last week. Take care of you (as well as everyone else). Sending lots of hugs and good vibes so that everything works out ok.

  58. Del says

    Thinking of you all as you head home to find your ‘new normal’. I hope all goes well and you have no more terrifying ambulance calls and long waits in the hospital. Take care..

  59. keepcatebusy (Cate) says

    Oh my goodness – I had to follow back from your hospital play post to find out what happened – I’m so glad he’s okay :-)
    xxxCate

Trackbacks

  1. Tweets that mention Never Ever. -- Topsy.com says:
    February 21, 2011 at 2:48 pm

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by katef and Susan Whelan, Allison Tait. Allison Tait said: RT @katepickle: Blogged – Never Ever thought I'd have to say these words…. https://picklebums.com/2011/02/21/never-ever/ […]

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