My big boy has never had a birthday party that he can remember. We threw him a fabulous tree planing first birthday, but since then we have always come up with an excuse as to why it wasn’t going to happen – no time, no roof, no walls. Now that we have a completed roof, and all the external walls at least it seems that we have run out of excuses (holes in the floor didn’t cut it) and he is having a sixth birthday party.
If you’ve been following my blog or facebook or instagram lately you’d already know that it will be a Lego party. So while I am hanging up Lego bunting and stealing my nerves for the onslaught of small boys here’s a few other cool things I’ve stumbled across this week:
1. I’m pretty sure we’ll be making these washer necklaces in the school holidays!
2. Got a stationary fetish? I think I will have to make a trip to my (not so) local Ikea and see if they are stocking the new Ikea paper collection yet?!?
3. My toddler hates dinner. All kind of dinner. When asked what he wanted for dinner on his birthday next week he said ‘breakfast’. I think he’s telling me to make these Chocolate Banana Pancakes.
4. We had a great discussion about the ‘asked and answered’ tactic for stopping whining on my facebook page the other day. Here is another, more gentle approach for whiners from Janet Lansbury that would be good for smaller kids. Who knows it may reduce the whining when they are older too.
5. Need a quick activity to do with your kids? I’m sharing a whole lot of 15 minute activities at Kidspot Village Voices over the next few months. My first activity is making a super fun plastic bag parachute for your toys!
6. Need some insta-beauty? Follow alijardine on instagram and your feed will be filled with quirky loveliness. Follow me on instagram and your feed will be full of random, blury, images of daily life. It’s up to you.
I like the whining links! I think the asked and answered missed a “link” in the chain which is “explain”. Maybe “explore” as well. If you have a good reason to deny a request it is easy to explain why, and then maybe you can explore with your kids at getting something closer to what you both want. If they start nagging (they haven’t yet at this point, they are allowed to ask and negotiate reasonably) then I think it is well within a respectful parents’ responsibility to enforce the boundary with their kid. The boundary being both the issue in question and the parent’s right not to be harassed. I think that is where the other approach is shaky at the start … if you are annoyed you are annoyed, try not to take it personally but you have a right to your feelings about how your kid is behaving at you, and a right to make unpopular decisions.
I also think it is important to remember whinging can really differ in tone. My big one chooses to do it and can get pulled up with a version of “asked and answered” most of the time. When the littler one whinges, chances are there really is something else afoot (usually illness) that firm boundary is a lot less useful in stopping it.
That is exactly it! The ‘asked and answered’ thing bugged me but I couldn’t put my finger on exactly why… but you nailed it. It misses a step… it misses out explaining and trying to understand why your child is asking/whining.
Ironically I decided I would give this idea a red hot go this week… but I haven’t had a chance because I can barely think of a time where my kids whined this week! I am not sure if this was just a good week for whining or if my kids don’t actually whine as much as I think they do! LOL