Sometimes I want to be someone I’m not.
I can’t help it.
I want to be fabulously cool in a relaxed ‘don’t have to try too hard’ kind of way.
I want to be organised and on top of things and have people think ‘wow she makes it look easy’.
I want to do amazing things and be fabulously successful all the time.
I want to have awesome hair and to rock my curves like I know they deserve to be rocked.
But I am not those people.
I thought I’d grown out of the whole ‘I wish I was’ thing, but it seems not.
These days, I am much, much more confident about who I am, and the choices I’ve made, but I am still struck down by the wishing disease every now and then.
That bugs me, but maybe it isn’t all bad.
Perhaps there are things to be learnt from wanting to be someone else.
Why do I want to be those people?
What is so important about being cool, or organised, or successful, or looking good?
How can I do my own version of those things?
Ok so I will never be entirely that person.
I will never be ultra organised, I will always stress over things, I will always have to let some opportunities pass by, I will always have more bad hair days than good and I will never ever love my side boobs….
But maybe I can be more organised, maybe I can get better at the worrying thing, maybe I can make some goals for the future, and maybe there are other curves that I can rock besides the extra boobs that grow out of my arm pits.
Do you ever want to be someone you are not?
How do you confront that beats, learn from it and let it go?