I’m not sure if I believe in star signs, but if I did it would go a long way to explain my mixed up ideas. You see, part of me wants to believe in all of that slightly woo woo kind of stuff (and I mean that in the nicest possible way), the goddess, astrology, karma and things like that, but I’m a wild and creative Aquarian trapped in a practical, logical, responsible, Capricorn’s body.
I’m born on the ‘cusp’ of both star signs. Depending on what you read and who you talk to I can be either star sign. In reality, if you believe in that kind of stuff, I am an awful mixed up lot of both. I’d say that was a good thing… a little practicality never hurt the wild and crazy dreamer, but sometimes it gets tricky.
Take this dream for example.
I’ve been having this recurring dream since oh, about this time last year. I don’t have it all the time, just once every now and then. It’s one of those vivid, tangible dreams that you wake from suddenly and wonder if it was an actual memory or just all in your head. It’s also not a very nice dream.
I am looking down from above, standing on a rock wall, looking down on a shallow patch of sea water in a sandy pool. Looking down on my Zoe face down, drowned in that pool.
That’s it.. there is never anything more to it than this horrible view, but it’s so real. I can smell the rotting sea weed smell, and feel the wind. I know exactly what clothes she is wearing and I can taste the fear and heart break.
I had this dream so many times in the weeks leading up to our Christmas holiday last year that I thought I might actually have to cancel it. Sometimes, in quiet moments, the idea of taking my girl to a beach just filled me with terror. But of course my logical practical side scoffed and told me how ridiculous it would be to cancel a much anticipated holiday because of a dream. Still… the wild and woo woo side of me was spooked badly and decided that if I didn’t allow Zoe to take any of the clothes she was wearing in the dream then it couldn’t possibly come true.
The Capricorn in me explains the recurrent nightmares before the holiday as stress related, anticipation and worry leading up to a big and important event. The Aquarian in me counters that argument with the fact that I am still having the dream every now and then, despite the fact that we haven’t been near a beach in months.
So what do you think?
Are dreams just our brains way of getting rid of excess data? Do they mean nothing more than a little stress finding a release?
Or is there something more to it? If so, what the heck does this dream mean? Why am I still dreaming it? And why have I never let Zoe wear those clothes ever again?
Read the comments or scroll down to add your own:
I believe in dreams. I believe they are powerful.
I dreamt that Will died.
I always listen to my dreams now.
M & B says
A mummy dream! Why your anxiety is focused on one child only, I do not know?
My anxiety dream, is that my child is kidnapped. I see her being dragged away (we no longer own the clothes she’s in) and there is nothing I can do. Like you I can taste the fear and wake with a deep sense of loss.
Oh Kate, it sounds terrifying :(
I’m not sure I beleive in the “premonition, this could come true” side of dreams but I do think it’s a manifestation of stress. Just like all those pregnancy leave the baby on the bus type dreams I just think it’s a reflection on some sort of stress. I don’t really think it’s as literal as stress that she could have a physical accident with water, perhaps more that you’re generally concerned for her or worried about something in particular – maybe you’re anxious about the whole school thing??
((big hugs)) because even if it means nothing, its not fun xx
To be honest, Im not really sure if i belive dreams or not. I think maybe it could be aniexty related? Who knows…
Im sorry you keep having this bad one though, it’s not a nice feeling to wake up to.
When my girl was just a newborn, I used to have nightmares about leaving my baby on the side of the road in her car capsule.. Or I would leave her on the roof of the car (not that i ever put her on the roof or the side of the road!).
Looking back now, I think it was connected to my P.N.D.
I’m an aquarian! We rock way harder than capricorns :lol:
I think mostly dreams are the brains way to processing the day and other things. Sometimes though there are dreams that mean more. I don’t think it’s in terms of prediction or anything, more in the way that your subconscious is trying to explain something. I don’t put much stock in those dream books. I tend to think the only person who can interrupt a dream is the dreamer.
You’ve been through a lot with your girls, perhaps stressful situations brings some of that old stress back up? All in all though, what does your gut say?
granma Jill says
I don’t think the Zoe in your dream is literally Zoe. Dreams speak in metaphores
You have partly explained it yourself – half of you is the practical Capricorn the other half is arty Aquarius. The Zoe that is drowning could be that part of you not being able to fulfil your creative life.
Just a thought.
Have any repeat happy dreams?
Anything odd yet neutral?
If a persistent dream were pleasant would you give it as much significance?
Not to down-play any real anxiety but to add perspective.
I think dreams are generally more about us than about those we dream of.
At boarding school I used to do dream analysis.
Perhaps she is growing away from you, and your relationship is that which is so calm and beautiful but you are realising it has to grow and you are fearful of how to cause that change when it is so calm and beautiful right now?
I believe in dreams. Throw the clothes she was wearing in the dream out.
Maybe my belief in dreams is why I worry about Isaac so much. It’s funny though, I rarely worry about Amy. (except in the normal mummy way)
scary dream Kate. as someone said, maybe don’t take your dreams literally. i dreamt the other night that i was a contestant in australian idol and had to dress up in 80’s gear and sing ‘true colours’ and was panicking that i couldn’t remember the words lol. i hope for everyone’s sake *that* never happens!