So we’ve got this big fancy family wedding coming up.
The girls have their $250 (all gasp with me now) dresses to wear (they are flower girls). The small boy has a dashing new shirt and pants (though I think I might buy him a different shirt to wear, still can’t decide). The Baldy Boy gets off easy – the suit he got married in works a treat for both weddings and funerals. That just leaves me.
Me and No. 20 on my list.
20. Buy and wear a really nice dress.
Just the thought of the above makes me want to vomit.
It’s not just because dresses and I haven’t been on speaking terms since I was in school and forced to wear one as part of the uniform. Sure, I’d be much more comfortable in a pair of jeans a t-shirt and an old cardigan, but I’m in this for the love of a favourite in-law and I’m willing to play along and frock up. Well I would be… if I could find a half decent frock.
I’m not really built to wear a dress, or at least to wear one and not look pregnant. Which would be fine, the looking pregnant part….if I was pregnant … but I’m not… pregnant that is. (You can stop having a heart attack now Mum.) I just carry all that extra weight around my middle… my middle and of late in my arms.
What is with that? The fat arm thing? It’s a getting old thing isn’t it? You can tell me… I’m half way to 37, I can face it… I think.
And not just my arms but my arm pits. I have little pudges of fat next to my arm pits… side boobies. Like I need any more boobage… I have enough of those where they are meant to be thanks very much.
So yes… combine the spare tyre around the middle with the side boobies and dress shopping was never going to be fun.
What really takes the cake though… what is making me want to toss it all in and just rock up in my faded jeans…. it’s what passes as fashion at the moment.
Ok I can accept that I am not (nor have I ever been) going to fit into a dress designed for the hip and groovey 16-25 crowd. Pencil thin straight dresses were never going to work for me…. that’s ok. So what does that leave me? Floral Moo Moos and strapless numbers, or the good old ‘capped sleeve are you sure you’re not pregnant’ kind of dress.
The options were already limited in the ‘hip, older but not old foogey yet’ kind of stores and now the few that there are are filled with these hideous floral patterns in royal blue and emerald green, ala my grandmother in 1980! I saw a dress on the weekend that actually had bat wing arms… actual flowing fabric coming from the sleeves! Are you kidding me??
I did try on one dress. It was black, because it seems if you can’t fit into the stick figure dresses you have no choice but to try and hide in drab black. It was just below the knee, because again, if you are not a stick figure you have to wear a dress of this daggy no length length. It had kind of frilly ruffles from under my boobs… it looked better than I am making it sound, but…. it had strangely cut arm holes… and my side boobs were hanging out, majorly hanging out. So not only will I have to buy a dress, I’ll have to buy a black bra (no I don’t already own one), pantihose (kill me now) shoes (unless I can get away with the black heels I may have worn once about ten years ago) AND a cardigan or something to hide my side boobs. AND… the dress was SO boring.
I need some style…. I so need some style, some flair… I need something. I need someone to wave a magic wand and make me look good in something. I don’t want or even need to look skinny, I am learning to accept the bulges and extra bits, I just want to look nice, and feel good… and look just a little funky.
The wedding is July 4th… What do you think of my chances are of whipping No. 20’s butt before then???
Yes you can whip its butt!!
I haven’t been dress shopping in a while, I don’t really do dresses either.
What about a nice skirt/top combination? Rather than a dress?
Oh Kate, I can totally relate! I got a dress after A was born, and it is the only dress I have worn to every single occasion (Christmas, birthdays, weddings, funerals etc…) ever since!
I especially like it because it has a cross over at the front so I can actually get my boobs out when necessary LOL!
BTW, if you want to have a look at it, in case you want to borrow it (unlikely, but thought I would put it out there), I will take a pic of me wearing it and send it to you if you like!
When I feel “arm boobyish” (eg. have the arm flabby thing going on), I wear dresses with a chiffony sort of wrap thingy around me. This also works to help with discrete breastfeeding if necessary (I have never been known to be a discrete breastfeeder though LOL).
Anyway, just let me know. The brand is Basque from Myer, and it is black, and just above knee length.
If you want to go dress shopping, I suggest taking a good honest friend, and leaving the children behind. Myers is good cause it has lots of different brands, and I think I only spent $120 on mine – less than the girls flower dresses!
$250??!!!
Each for your girls???
$250!!??
Sorry….I am stuck on that bit!!!
OMG!!!!
Yep I can relate too as I hate getting dressed up but seriously I think you’d look great dressed up. I would also go for a top and skirt combo instead of a dress.
Oh I can relate – I have to admit to myself that it’s really not alright to have an “is she pregnant?” belly 2.5 years after the baby was born!!
My suggestion – skirt and top combo OR what about the black dress paired it with a funky bright coloured cardigan or shawl/pashmina? That might brighten the outfit up and make you feel a bit more excited about it – plus you are bound to need some warmth for a July wedding…
You can do it – you are woman and you are invinsible !
Ask your mum to mind the kids and take your SIL or a friend for moral support.
I haven’t worn a dress nor purchased one for so long…
Gorgeous is a state of mind! You’ll look fabulous if you feel fabulous. Forget what the current trends are, and go for what you feel good in and what works for your body shape. I always find accessories make an outfit for me. You can add a touch of quirky, a touch of classy or a touch of vintage!
Oh my god I know ! I can sooo rleate to this, especially since I went to a wedding recently. In the end I refused to wear a dress and just wore black pants, heels and a nice top, didn’t care. haha, no help I know.
Yes, well, I just had to suffer through finding a dress for my friend’s wedding which is on this coming Sunday! You’re lucky you found floral dresses….everything I saw was a drab grey colour! All boring and all winter colours (the wedding is in the tropics). Thankfully I found something I was reasonably happy with, but naturally it had thin straps over the shoulders so that, in turn, prompted a desperate mission to find a bra that would work under it. Arrrgghh! It’s definitely not easy!
shopping….argh….
bra first then (wearing new bra)…dress, or skirt top, though dress is possible….child free is good if you don’t want to be compared to princesses in each outfit!
I find it hard to buy dresses too. I’m short wasted and sway backed. My mum made my wedding dress because nothing we tried on suited me.
I was going to also suggest the skirt and top option. A simple black skirt with a top that you really love. You can then wear the top to dress up a pair of jeans.
If you have your heart set on a dress, have you looked at Ezibuys range. They always have stuff that makes me drool when it comes to dresses (I even bought one once but haven’t ever had anywhere to wear it).
Good Luck and keep shopping. :) You’re worth it.
We have all come with the same idea – top and skirt is so much easier to work with than dresses.
But will that still cross 20 off your list?
I love the chiffon wrap idea also.
But Kate, black is classic, black is stylish, and besides, it’s never about the dress… It’s about the accessories… That’s right, something ELSE to think about, but seriously think about it… Get the black dress, then focus your attention on the jacket/cardi/shawl thingie you’ll want to wear over it to hide the extra boobage, make THAT the star attraction…
Forget the dress, just get the plain black boring (but probably more versatile in the end anyway – like Baldy Boy’s suit, actually) dress. Buy it, then forget about it! Focus on the other bit, the top bit, make that a statement… Or make the shoes a statement, or even forget those things and get your hair done…
It’s really not about the dress, honestly!
Totally agreeing! Basic black is always good and add flair to it with accessories, hair, make-up. That way, if you are comfortable in the dress, you can wear it to ‘a special event’ for years to come and just change up the accessories to stay in trend.
If it is not a black-tie wedding, I wore black pants and a lovely top (I’m not into dresses either) with a bit of “bling” accessories to the last wedding I attended and I was not the only one. :-)
Why not find a local seamstress and get a dress made that is flattering to your body shape in a colour that looks fabulous so that you can get more than one wear out of the item rather than throwing it to the back of the closet and sighing over wasted money?