Disclaimer – This post is about sex. It’s not particularly rude, nor does it contain swear words, but if reading about my sex life may offend or repulse you (mum? dad?) click away now ok.
There was a time when the term ‘afternoon delight’ didn’t refer to hiding in the kitchen to eat something yum without the kids finding out. That was back in the days when the only person I shared my bed with was my husband, back then he wasn’t even my husband yet.
These days there is no such thing as a little ‘afternoon delight’. There is no morning sex, and precious little night time activity either.
These days I crawl into bed at the end of the day, so tired, and so touched out that the last thing I am thinking about is sex. In fact I’d take food and sleep over sex any day. It’s not that I don’t enjoy sex. I quite like it, truth be told. It’s just not so high on the list of priorities anymore.
Not so for my husband. He’s a Scorpio… need I say more?
The poor man is really quite understanding and reluctantly accepts the lack of action, but I can’t say that he likes it. He does try hard. Every now and then sneaks off into town in the dead of night returning with Turkish delight or ice cream….hoping to find the way to my heart, hoping to motivate me into action.
I do so love turkish delight and I do have a soft spot (some where around my middle I think) for ice cream…. but oh I’m so tired and I love you but ugh… can I just have a little while when no one is asking for me or touching me and … zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I do miss sex sometimes. I miss the physical closeness to the person I love and … ahem…. I miss how great it feels and that lovely after glow… and yeah. I think I remember how nice sex was, and I miss that, but I’ve lost my motivation.
I keep hearing that you just need to ‘have sex to want sex’. Once you remember how nice it is it makes you want more, so if I just made time to have sex maybe I’d get my mojo back? I just need to get organised. Prioritise my time, schedule in a bit of sex. Ugh… how boring does that sound? Is that really what my sex life has become? How much Turkish delight and ice cream will it take to woo me into action?
Surely I’m not the only thirty-something mother who’s sex life is a little bit stagnant? Anyone care to share how they got back on the bike??
(and yes I am slightly scared of how many weird google searches and crazy comments I am going to get after writing a post with the word ‘sex’ in it so many times… but Lanne and Dee made me do it!)
Read the comments or scroll down to add your own:
Hahaha. You need some Afternoon Turkish Delight! Yay for you for being so honest.
How sad is this – we have a lovely new mattress, and we’ve finally got the baby out of our bed (she got the old mattress on the floor next to us) and we still haven’t christened it! So I hear you!
I’ve found it’s boring but true, schedule it and it is much more likely to happen.
Oh so agree. Having people on you all day, by the time the kids go to bed the last thing I want to do is strip down and get it on.
Your lucky your husband is understanding.
I’m an almost-thirty-something so not sure if I count but same same here. Except for me it’s cookies-n-cream, twizlers and rootbeer. I enjoy all those things but tbh I’m also known to have told my husband that the sexiest thing he could do would be to spontaniously do housework. It probably sounds WRONG but walking into a sparkling kitchen instead of the usual pigstye of filty pots, grease/sauce splatters, jars of ingredients and assorted other crap he leaves it in would be a -major- turn on. I suspect what would actually motivate me would be a combination of helping around the house (not just the actual work done but also showing that he’s taking care of his family in general and me in particular yk?) and some regular me-time so I’m not flat out tapped by the time he nudges me at 2am after I’ve just crawled into bed.
It’s amazing how willing I am to make time for sex now, how much I miss the touch of my husband, the closeness and the connection, the intensity, the love…
It’s amazing how much I miss it, now that he’s dead.
If you really want to find some motivation, I guess for me it would be the thought that tonight might be your last chance. And no amount of turkish delight and ice cream will ever give you the same kind of afterglow as your husband can. :-)
Good for you for posting this Kate. And wow… Alison your comment has given me food for thought too. Thank you for sharing so honestly. My hubby and I try to keep Saturday nights free for our “date night”. Usually we date at home, but at least it’s time we set aside for each other. No computers, some nice take away, a glass of wine…
I’m giggling. I’m a Scorpio.
And honestly, while sex is good fun, most nights I’m too tired and touched out too. But then, I do go through an awful lot of batteries still, so yeah.
It’s lucky we don’t want siblings for Erin. That’s all I can say lol
I actually don’t feel much like sex after ice cream lol.
Look it’s pretty much the same deal here atm. Although probably the biggest thing standing in our way is an unwanted pregnancy.
Once hubby takes care of that then I’ll be back on the bike so to speak!
Thanks for being so honest Kate! A big “same here” :) To be honest it just seems like one more thing that has to be ticked off the ‘to-do’ list :)
Mistress B says
I have a few friends who have found that scheduling it makes it happen.
It may sound sad, but it’s practical.
Oh my! How did I miss this post?
You could have been blogging about me. Honestly.
I always feel so tired and the last thing I want is sex (even though it is very very nice.)
My days of procreating are over too so there’s not even that to spur me on.
lol sex…..I sorta remember that word….
Belinda - The Lattimore Acre says
LOL!! I have recently discovered your blog. Oh I so needed to read this. My poor husband!! Sex…. I think I remember what that is??!!