Dear Mum of twin babies,
I see you.
I see you searching for the twin trolley at the supermarket, and I see the defeat in your eyes when you spy it being pushed by a woman cradling her precious loaves of bread where you need to put your babies.
I see you cringe when someone asks ‘are they twins?’ and I see your forced smile when someone says ‘double trouble’like they are the wittiest person on earth.
I see you strapping babies into their car seats, and I see you taking a breath and throwing groceries into the car as quick as you can while the babies cry.
I see your tired eyes and your deep sighs, and I see you simply putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward from sheer stubbornness alone.
I see you.
I see you and I know you are wondering how you will cope, but you will.
I want to lay a hand on your shoulder and tell you ‘It will get better’, but I don’t. I know you’ve had enough of other’s people’s ‘well meaning advice’ and really, what would some random stranger know anyway? But I do know, because that was me.
Twelve years ago it was me crying on the way home from the supermarket because even a simple shopping trip seemed so incredibly difficult.
It was me feeling stretched so thin that I felt invisible.
It was me wondering if there was enough of me to love both these babies?
It was me wondering why everyone else could manage this parenthood thing, but I couldn’t.
Having two babies at once is hard.
It’s hard in a way that no one can prepare you for.
It’s hard in a way that you won’t even realise until you are looking back.
It’s hard, but it does get better.
Eventually they will cry less and sleep more.
Eventually you will feel less torn between who’s needs you meet first.
Eventually you won’t feel so different to everyone else.
Eventually you will find positives in having twins.
It won’t be all smooth sailing, far from it, but eventually you will be passing by as they are both nose deep in a book or some other past time, and your breath will catch in your throat, and you will stop and think to yourself ‘how on earth did I get so lucky?’
All this probably doesn’t help much right now, when you are struggling to keep your head above water, but I wanted you to know… I see you, and I does get better.
From a Mum who survived that first year with twins just like you will.
Do you have twins? Or more?
Or maybe you just know what’s it’s like to struggle in that first year of parenthood?
What would you tell the mum I saw struggling at the supermarket?