I didn’t video my son playing in his piano concert.
I didn’t even take a photo.
I planned to, I even got my phone out ready to press the record button and video every second, but when they called his name and he walked up to the piano, I put my phone down.
I did feel guilty…
I felt like the only parent who didn’t hold up a phone or device to capture their child’s moment.
I knew there were family and friends who would have liked to watch a video of his performance.
Perhaps my boy would have liked to watch it himself?
And I felt like I was the worst parent in the world for not videoing his performance.
But as he sat at the piano I shoved the guilt, and my phone, aside, and I watched, and I listened.
I listened to the three pieces of music I have heard him play over, and over, and over, again at home.
I watched his oh so serious face, his concentration, and quiet confidence.
I heard him correct little errors and keep playing even though it wasn’t perfect.
I watched his sisters watching him, and his little brother sitting still and quiet, staring between heads with admiration.
And when it was over, I saw him stand up and walk back to his seat, with just the hint of a smile on his still serious face.
And I was glad I had watched him… actually watched him, with my eyes, not a screen.
Mothers are not selfish very often, but I was then.
I took that moment just for me.
So I’m sorry family members who didn’t get to see his performance…
And I’m sorry son who doesn’t have a video of himself to watch…
And I’m sorry ridiculous inner voice of parenting guilt…
There will be other performances to capture on video, this time I only captured the moment in my memory, and it was worth it.
Well done. It’s so important to focus on just them, in the moment, without the distraction of a screen inbetween you. This will still be a memory without the video, and photos, and you can genuinely say, “I saw you perform. I watched every note.”.
Hi Kate
This comment is just for you. My four year old granddaughter recently participated in her first (and last she says even though she enjoyed it) ballet concert. After following dodgy directions from the GPS to an unfamiliar country town, getting my husband and his walking frame quite a distance from the car to the theatre, negotiating him down just two steps to the most accessible spot for him (back row), the last thing I felt like doing was trying to find all the right buttons to press at the right time in the dark. So I was really relieved to hear that filming was banned and I could just enjoy watching her.
For the first half we watched intently trying to spot our precious girl. At interval we met up with our daughter who said No you haven’t missed her, she’s on in the second act after interval and she will be second from the right. Her little group appeared on cue and we concentrated dotingly on the second princess from the right devouring her every move, even though they all looked the same from the back row. I was so pleased not to have the encumbrance of a camera to worry about.
After the show we found out that all that time we were watching someone else’s little princess because they had moved their positions.
At least we can watch the real princess now because our daughter has a copy of the video because that was a compulsory purchase for participants.
I did exactly that at my daughters’ school concert this year, and I enjoyed it so much more!