I am done.
I am so done.
I am crispy brown on both sides, stick a fork in me, done.
I’m done with dragging kids out of bed to get to school on time, and done with making lunches.
I’m done with trying to come up with the perfect present for everyone, and not blow the budget.
I’m done with sweeping up fake pine needles that have fallen from the Christmas tree. It’s fake, why is it shedding?
I’m done with laundry.
I’m done with the fact that my entire family seem to think that dirty dishes go on the bench above the empty dishwasher not in it!
I’m done with driving kids places, negotiating who can go where when, and figuring out what time they need to be picked up.
I’m done with stopping the kids from eating the food I’ve bought for Christmas.
I’m done with trying to find a carpark when I have to go back to the supermarket yet again because the kids just ate the food I just told them not to eat!
I’m done with Christmas. I’m done with parenting. I’m done with it all.
I don’t want to be done.
I’d like to be filled with laid back Christmas cheer and be enjoying every minute of this ongoing end of the year festival. That’s how I am pretending to be, but in reality I am just done.
And, if I am honest I’d admit that Christmas is feeling a lot like an obligation right now, not a joy.
But I’m done with that too.
I’m done with that feeling of obligation, that just because it’s Christmas everything should be perfect and joyful!
Christmas isn’t just perfect decorations, beautifully wrapped presents and kids in (clean) matching outfits.
Sometimes Christmas is driving to the supermarket for the tenth time in three days, saying no to that event because you just need some downtime, and just sitting in the hammock for a while until joy finds you again.
If you are feeling totally and utterly, crispy brown, so very very done, I hope you find some peace and quiet and space to find joy again.
I am with you Kate. That was my life when my kids were at home. Now they have children of their own and haven’t quite reached the “done” stage. It will come but will they admit that Christmas is their least favourite time of the year because it is not what it is supposed to be?
For years I wrote secretly in my journal “I hate Christmas”. Now our joy comes from our grandchildren but age and health catch up with you and for the first time I have not put up the Christmas tree. I am being made to feel guilt about that but the tree can wait till next year, if I feel up to it.
My heart is with you.
Kath
Let’s be done with the guilt too :) Merry Christmas.
I hear you! I just turned 70 and for a couple of years, I did not bother putting up a tree, just put some decorations around the house and the front door wreath of course. Then, my husband said he missed the holiday feel, so I splurged and bought a fake 7′ tree this year! He climbed into the attic and brought down the bins with the ornaments and decor without a grumble. No one even came over to see our home, because we always go over to “their” house for Christmas. But for the month of December, we treated ourselves to a lovely twinkling tree and a fire in the gas fireplace. Keep on living! Some day you won’t be here to decorate!
As I sit here in the relative quiet of my downstairs dungeon, I’m nodding my head saying “Yep”…. totally crispy with a few charred edges to boot ;)
I have all four kids home now til Tuesday, packing them all into the car at 6am Sunday for a 4hr drive to see Nanni & Pop (maybe for the last time as he’s been flown home from the oncology unit as I type) – just a quick visit (as I know my Mum will be frazzled from 2 weeks in the City while my StepDad’s been in hospital) then drive the 4hrs back again to play Santa duties later Monday morning… haha
At least I don’t have to worry about Christmas lunch – hubby’s Mum has that under control – we just turn up, eat, drink, clean up and go home with the leftovers for dinner…. win win!!
I hope you get time to swing in the hammock Kate and I will have a wee tipple for you Christmas Eve.
Merry Christmas & a joyous New Year
Look forward to more stories in 2018
Hugs Jo
Wishing you safe travels Jo, and lots of fun family time!
Oh, my!!! I am so happy someone else is feeling what I am feeling these days… I started thinking something is wrong with me, that I am a bad mother or smth like that… but I am just tired and totally worn out… I need some time to reload myself and thank you for showing it to me with your article
I hope you found some hammock time :)
It felt hard this year, and with school finishing just a day before the weekend my kids struggled too. But we got there in the end
I hear you. I started going to church in December for the first time in over twentyyears. You know what my prime reason was….come Sunday i am so Done,and if some nice people want to watch my monkeys for an hour or so while i sit and listen to a grown up speak about sometimes interesting things and listen to music while that sounded like a good deal to me. Then they want to serve me some free coffee and sweets while said monkeys run around for a bit while i won’t say no to that either. I wasn’t yet comfortable with the God part but i just changed that word to love and it worked out just fine for me. Did i mention it was all free!