Recently I blogged about some ideas I’ve been using to try to reduce the amount of yelling I do.
Despite the past week being full of out of the ordinary stressful events and situations, despite being super busy and stretched, I am proud to say I managed to keep my yelling in check this week. Our house has not been a perfect, yell-free zone by any means, but making a conscious decision to yell less, and writing down my ideas and goals has really made a big difference to how I’ve coped.
It was fabulous to read so many comments and emails in reply to my post. You’ve all shared lots of great ideas and suggestions which have helped me a lot, so I’m going to share some of them in this post so they can help others too.
How to stop yelling at your kids
These suggestions are from real parents who are working on this stuff too.
Sarah from Fig Nut Mum offered these great ideas:
I have started to
and take a breath.
I find it helps me to just pause for that moment and look at the whole picture and not just the tiny trigger which has caused me to want to yell.
And to drink water often. Seriously it helps. As when I get dry I get touchy and moody etc. Plus having a drink of water gives me a moment to clear my head (or try to)
I really love the tip on drinking water… I have not been keeping up with that of late and I think it really helps be feel better within myself which in turns helps me cope with set backs.
Kate shared this to help us put our ‘fails’ into perspective…
I saw some “child expert” on Sunrise once say that parents who worry a lot about their mistakes as parents should give themselves a break as the parents who are really damaging their children don’t spend much time worrying about mistakes they might have made. That made me feel a lot better.
TeacherMum shared this great post about her own ‘shouting moments’ and what her older son thought about it – The Choice We Make
Mel from The Hawk and the Fire Cat shared a link to Joyfully Rejoicing, primarily a home-schooling site but full of great resources on this topic too. She also shared this tip;
Sometimes I write something or draw something on my hand to look at when I’m about to yell to remind myself to stop.
When my son has a tantrum and I’m about to yell I try to give him a hug. Sometimes it doesn’t work, but sometimes it’s enough to diffuse both of us.
Lulu shared this approach,I find saying “Noah” then taking a deep breath before starting to say what I want to say. I also find using the same phrases (because of his age) works- since he is a climber for example I try to say in the same tone “Noah……….get down now please” – I saw it strongly but in an even voice if that makes sense.
And Neane offer this very important point…
I feel blessed having friends like her and access to people like you – it helps to learn new coping mechanisms and know that other people go through this stuff too.
It really is so important to have friends who you can share your good and your bad days with, online and in real life!
Here are some other links to articles about how to stop yelling at our kids.
A great list of articles on gentle guidance at The Natural Child Project.
Twenty Alternatives to Punishment from Aware Parenting.
Alternatives to Punishment at Mothering.com
So how are you doing in your quest to shout less?
Toilet humour has been my best tool this week, what has been working for you?