Lets do an experiment.
Just for a day, put your kids before everything else.
Chose your kids before a clean house, before deadlines, before phone calls.
Choose them.
Put them first
Say yes.
Be there.
I don’t mean that you should spend every second focused on your kids, or that you should plan lavish events, or jump through hoops to keep them entertained, or let go of ever rule or limit… but when they ask for something, stop what you are doing and attend to them first. When you see an opportunity to interact, take it. When you can meet a request, even if it is out of the ordinary, or takes some effort, do it. When you see a moment to lavish them with love, do it.
I know you can’t always do that.
I know there are some things you need to get done, and other things you want to do, I know that you and your needs are important, and I know there is a little voice in the back of your head telling you it is a bad thing to ‘spoil’ your child… but is it?
Just for today, or tomorrow, or sometime next week, pick a day, clear your schedule, and put your kids first, for the whole day, and see what happens.
What happens on the day?
How do you feel during the day?
How do your kids behave?
How do you feel at the end of the day?
What happens in the days after that?
Is anything different? Did you learn anything?
I think my family needs this right now so I am picking a day when I can make this a priority.
If you try this out or have any thoughts, I’d love to hear from you – leave a comment on this post so we can chat :)
I agree! It really is important. A lot of things you need to get done the kids either make messy again, or can help you. Often times when the kids are acting up to get your attention, it is much harder to fix!
I actually did this not too long ago. I decided for one day to not do any housework, go to the shops, check my phone etc and just do whatever my 3 year old son wanted to do that day. It was a real eye opener. He was so very happy and that made me happy. I will admit though that playing with matchbox cars did get a bit boring and I was exhausted by the end of the day but it felt good. Like you said, it’s not practical to live like that everyday, unfortunately the house work does eventually need to be done and you can’t give your child 100% of your attention all the time but it was a good reminder about priorities and what is important
I’m not trying to brag or else, but if I think about it; my kids pretty much rule my life. We do have rules and limits, but their needs are my first priority. I’m a stay-at-home mum, so I have all the time in the world, right?
I never cared much about how clean or pretty or messy my house looks like and my husband seems to be utterly blind to it, so lucky me. And no, we don’t live in a constant mighty mess of toys, piles of laundry and whatever else. We have an organisation that works for us and my kids are extremely relaxed, flexible and utterly calm. Everyone seems to be quite impressed by it, so we must be doing something right somewhere.
I would definitely recommend it. It’s only one day but your relationship with your kids would be so much better for it.