Overreacting or Evil TV Show?
My girls discovered The Sleepover Club TV show a few weeks back and they love it.
This second series of the Australian TV show is about a group of girls who are part of, you guessed it, ‘the sleepover club’. They are perhaps a little older than my girls, live an idyllic life in a sea-side town and get up to all kinds of ‘adventures’.
What’s not to love?
Well, from my perspective… there is a lot not to love.
The stereotyping in this show gets right up my nose. The main characters are nicely pigeon-holed – one sporty, one smart, one an air headed fashionista, one an arty hippy type and of course Frankie, who is the perfect all rounded. Their enemies are, of course, the ‘snooty rich girl’ and a group of boys. Of course the ring leader of the boys is the tallest one, his side kicks are the not so smart and somewhat chubby boys.
Why does it have to be boys against girls?
Why does being well off always make you nasty?
Why does liking art also make you a hippy and mean you can’t be good at sport?
Leaving the stereotyping aside, the thing that bothers me most about this show is the way the kids treat each other.
A lot of the story lines revolve around people being mean to each other. The ‘rich girl’ has a side kick who she is constantly being nasty to, the boys are constantly playing tricks and picking on the girls and while the SOCS (see now I am using the lingo too) are often portrayed as the nice girls, the heroes, they still do mean things to other kids or laugh when someone comes off second best.
I know having someone shake up your can of drink so it explodes in your face is not the worst act of bullying that could occur, but as I sat on the couch and watched the group of kids on the TV laugh at the ‘rich girl’ dripping in lemonade I saw my girls doing the same thing and I didn’t like it.
I feel like this TV show is glorifying low level bullying. Behind the fluffy messages of ‘forever friendship’ and ‘doing fun things’ it is quietly portraying the idea that being mean to others is ok, even desirable if you want to be part of ‘the in crowd’.
These are not the messages I want to send to my kids.
I don’t want my kids to laugh at someone’s misfortune. I don’t want them to assume that just because someone appears to have money that they are not someone they want to be friends with. I don’t want my girls to think that boys are stupid and ‘out to ruin their fun’. I don’t want them to think it is ever ok to be mean to someone, no matter who they are or what they may have done.
I know my kids are not perfect. They will make mistakes, they will bow to peer pressure, they will aspire to stereotypes and they will be mean to others…. but it just feels like these things are being glorified in this TV program and it doesn’t sit right with me.
I loathe to ‘ban’ anything unless I really feel there is no other choice, so I’ve not ‘banned’ the Sleep Over Club. But I only dole it out in very small portions and each episode the girls have to put up with me constantly raving about why I don’t like the show, about how mean the kids are, about how not every boy/girl is like that, etc. etc. blah, blah, blah… I hope that my ranting will at least encourage them to think critically about what they are watching instead of letting it wash over them in a mind numbing trance.
Perhaps I am over reacting? Perhaps this really is the harmless ‘fluff’ TV that it is made out to be and I am reading way more into this than I should? Perhaps my adult brain sees things that my 8 year olds do not? Perhaps making it into a big deal gives it more power?
I’m just not sure… but something about this show makes me wish we didn’t have a TV at all, and I’m really not anti TV…. well not usually!
What do you think? Overreacting or evil TV show?
{image by payalnic via flicker}
In cases like these I say follow your gut feeling.
I had similar feelings about The Saddle Club. I ended up banning it for just the reasons you mentioned.
I still monitor tv shows harshly and my girls are 12,12 & 14. I won’t let them watch Glee as I feel most of the story lines are way above their heads. The music is fabulous but not the other stuff
Follow your gut. That’s what it’s there for
Hugs
I was going to say the exact same thing as Pixie above. Go with your gut. I like your approach of sitting with them explaining it to them. I’ve done similar things with some tv shows with my son, and particularly explaining the marketing ploys employed via ads on tv.
I think you are right in your reaction. So much of what kids watch and read does have an effect. I was a baby-sitters club fan as a kid, and I wanted to BE them. Thankfully they weren’t mean, but they were stereotyped and very american so I couldn’t really relate but looking back now everything they did was so unrealistic. We don’t need tv shows teaching our kids how to bully, i’m sure they see enough of it already.
I feel like this about certain video games, movies, TV shows, people think I over-react. I suppose if you have grounded, well-adjusted kids who think “eh, it’s just a TV show and they are just paid actors” and they understand the different between TV and reality, then maybe it’s not so bad. But I definitely agree with you, and I think kids learn behaviours, good and bad, from things they watch on TV/video games. Just really need to drill it home that it might be funny on TV but is absolutely not appropriate in real life.
I agree with the other comments, if it doesn’t feel right to you then it probably isn’t. There is one show on tv that I particularly dislike because the main female character seems to constantly whinge. I went through a period of letting my daughter watch it and commented how I didn’t like it because of all the whinging. To my surprise within a week my daughter decided she didn’t like it either. I am lucky she is young enough that my opinion means something I guess…that may not last :)
I think your approach is right, and your kids will remember. My mum let us watch most things but let us know what was wrong with them and I still remember!
I am also a bit uncomfortable with all the stereotyping and in-grouping in kids’ shows my girls love. I get they are trying to portray what social norms feel like to kids and they contain some truth, and no doubt these shows are also a bit helpful to kids navigating all this crap in the schoolyard, but I agree with you they reinforce the crap too. I do the same as you!
Miss 5 had a thing for The Saddle Club in one of the last school holidays, and I have to admit that, change the setting and the stories are the same.
Wonder if they would consider making a series of the Go Girl books? Sure, there is still some teasing, etc, BUT the characters resolve their issues rather than return the behaviour. I know the books are pretty well loved by all of the people I have ever mentioned them to, or they are quickly intrigued by them if they haven’t herd of them before, so why not a tv series? It would be interesting to see how a show about real girls (of many different kinds of backgrounds) get along, or learn to when difficulties arise.
If you’re not keen to ban the show outright, maybe you can actively look for opportunities to expose the girls to media or experiences that do teach the messages you want to reinforce? This will open the way for some critical discussion and some comparisons of the different issues raised (stereotyping/bullying/etc) and give you the opportunity to explain why you feel the way you do using specific examples. You could also try letting the girls watch an episode while you are not in the room with them, and then talk afterwards about what happened in the show. This will give you an idea of how they are interpreting what they are seeing and will also allow you to help them develop their own critical thinking skills by asking open questions (what would you do/how would you feel if…). Ultimately though, if you really are concerned and the girls seem to be taking the wrong messages away from the show then trust your instincts.
How about sending your comments to the TV station concerned? They may consider them when programming a new show, particularly if you link it to your blog.
There is also the Australian Children’s Television Foundation. A copy of your comments and Permanently Amanda could suggest “Go Girl” to them.
That’s a good idea, let your voice be heard!
No not over reacting… I am with you on shows like this…
I talk to my boys about what I think the show seems to portray. We often have discussions and I explain why I dont want them to watch the show. They comply… I am lucky that they dont particularly like to watch one particular show like these… It is usually what ever is on when I am happy for them to be watching TV…
I’m thinking, and I hope I’m right with this theory, that the personal input you have invested in your children and the values and behaviours you are constantly instilling and reinforcing will outweigh any negative message from a TV show. As a child I knew perfectly well that TV was not the same as real life and things children did in various programmes were not to be copied or admired, even if they were the central character and portrayed as ‘good’!
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Kids learn by example, so I can see why this TV show concerns you. I would probably not hesitate to not let my daughter watch it. She is 5, and there’s some shows that my husband and I don’t let her watch that would otherwise be age-appropriate, because we don’t like how the characters treat each other. We don’t have TV though, but we use netflix.
Not over reacting at all in my opinion I think it is essential adults try to pass on values and beliefs to kids in their care. The alternative is that increasingly our(societies) children are raised by the media – what a frightening thought!!! and yet unavoidable You keep doing what you are doing The kids will inevitably choses who they are and there will be many influencesYou can’t lock them up so good on you for not censoring but you can walk with them as a guide – it takes an enormous amount of time and energy but i believe it is vital Congrats to you
I almost laughed out loud when I read the bit about ranting while they’re watching the show. NOT because I thought it was funny but because I do the same thing. I really can’t help myself – it’s involuntary! Prohibition doesn’t work in my eyes either but you’ve got to trust your mummy instincts – even if it means ranting at the TV?!
I overreact all the time Kate, but I think it’s the overreacting that makes us want better for our kids. I definitely think there’s a lot of truth in what you say, and most of the time when I overreact there is something sensible I need to bring across. I don’t know how you go about it with an 8-yr-old because I’m not there yet, but if your gut says something about it doesn’t fit with you and your family, then follow it. That’s what I do. (I just ask Graeme first about the best way to go about implementing it!)
I’m there with you. I dislike those sort of shows and encourage the girls to do many other things than watch them.
My other big TV issue is Prank Patrol – glorifying playing pranks on others is not okay.
No not over-reacting, just good parenting, I think
It’s for ratings and I really don’t believe they do it for the audience. Drama sells. Happy doesn’t. It’s up to us, I think. Yet another addition to parenting to do list.
This is why I’m going to write my own children’s book – I’m sick of these types of shows appealing to the lowest common denominator in children/people in general. Cruel slapstick does nothing for me and I can’t see it modeling anything to my children that I’d like to see mirrored. Go with your gut.