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A Place to Come Home to.

Posted on January 19, 2017 9 Comments

'Home is not a place, it's a feeling' - and making a place to come home to is the best thing I can do for my teenagers

There are some big changes happening for our family this year.

The biggest is the huge step my girls will take from our small primary school, into a huge high school.

The leap from grade six to year seven seems like a huge one. Six weeks summer holidays doesn’t seem like nearly enough time to prepare for it.

There are many things to worry about, but also many things to look forward to.
Taking the bus to school, getting their own phones, making new friends, trying new things, homework, managing their time, learning new subjects, dance recitals, school musicals, media and design class.

I’m equal parts excited and petrified to see our girls take this next step and I think that sums up how they are feeling too.

But I’ve decided the best way to deal with it all is to build a place they can come home to.

I’m building a soft place for them to fall, because eventually, no matter how careful they are, or how much I worry, they will fall.
I’m building a quiet place for them to think, and work, and learn.
I’m building a team who will always support them, always help them, always tell them it will be ok, and always love them, no matter what.
I’m building a reliable place where someone will always answer the phone and always say ‘yes, I’ll listen, yes I’ll help, yes I’ll come and pick you up’.
I’m building a somewhere they can invite friends to, that will always have a snack to share and couch to sit on.
I’m building a place where they can ask for help.
I’m building a place for long chats and quiet cuddles.
I’m building a comfortable space where they can be themselves.
I’m building place where they can cry, and laugh, and worry, and relax, and be crazy, and roll their eyes, and do everything or nothing.

The best thing I can do, no matter how big they get, no matter where they end up, no matter what happens, is to build a place they can always come home to.

Have you got any big changes happening in your family this year?

How do you manage change?
How do you juggle letting your kids grow up while also keeping them close?

 

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Filed Under: Farm Tales, parenting Tagged With: parenting, picklemekate, teenagers, tweens

Read the comments or scroll down to add your own:

  1. Amelia says

    Love this Kate! What a brilliant and supportive and constructive thing to focus on at a time of big changes. Good luck to you all!

    Reply
  2. Caro Webster says

    Kate, what a lovely, utterly lovely post. I describe my home as a ‘hugging home’ and work hard to keep it a place that we all cherish, nurture and want to spend time in. A lot of that involves the conviviality that comes from shared meals, letting the kids design their own bedrooms so they are a personal haven for them, lots of big comfy couches, having an army of pets to create extra love and also making sure that there are no ‘no-go’ places. And, don’t worry about “big school”. Sure there will be a few tears, but the joy that comes from watching your babies become more independent, confident and able out does the tears on most days. x

    Reply
    • katepickle says

      Thank you for sharing your wisdom. I keep telling myself this anxiety will all be a distant memory soon!

      Reply
  3. Joy says

    This is BEAUTIFUL!
    We’ve got twins arriving (fingers crossed) in 3 days, and my son gets to be a big brother to living siblings for the first time. Along with daycare for the first time, new job for hubs, and potentially expanding my art… BIG changes ahead for us, and home is feeling homey for the first time in ages.

    Reply
    • katepickle says

      Lots of big changes in your family too… but awesome ones! I hope the arrival of your baby goes smoothly and you all find some time to enjoy them!

      Reply
  4. Frau_Mahlzahn says

    We are busy getting my oldest daughter through her last year of high school — it’s an IB programme, and it’s not pretty… So I’m not quite ready yet to look beyond that… :-).

    After that we will move to Shanghai, so that will mean transferring my youngest kids to a new international school, setting up a new home… but as I said, I’m not ready to tackle that yet… :-) :-) :-)

    I’m keeping my fingers crossed for your girls that they will have a smooth transition into secondary! It’s a big step but there’s also so much promise in it, :-).

    Have a great weekend!

    So long,
    Corinna

    Reply
    • katepickle says

      Wow! That is a lot of big changes coming up for your family!! I hope it all goes well for you!

      Reply
  5. Kate Lloyd says

    Love this Kate, so very much! We have a big year ahead when my oldest starts primary school. She’s very excited about it, which makes it all feel much easier, but still a huge step.

    Reply
    • katepickle says

      I can’t believe your little one is going to school!!!
      I hope the transition goes smoothly for you all!

      Reply

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