I’ve run out of words and feelings and patience.
There is a constant undercurrent of something not right.
A slight sinking feeling that something is about to happen that I will regret. I can’t shake it and I can’t put my finger on exactly what it is.
Frustration continually bubbles to the surface and I can’t keep a lid on it.
Little things seem insurmountable.
Everything feels murky and difficult.
Perhaps it is the dark gloomy days of mid winter getting the better of me? Perhaps it is the struggle of getting back into the school routine with a house full of tired kids. Perhaps it is too much busy. Perhaps it is hormones, or a lack of exercise. Perhaps it is everything.
Whatever the cause it is a tell tale sign that I need to step back from things and reconnect.
Reconnecting doesn’t have to be something special, or difficult.
It is not easy for us to get out of the house with just one child to spend time ‘one on one’ but it is possible to make time to do that among the chaos of every day at home. You can also reconnect as a group of often it feels as if we need time to come back together as a family as much as time to connect one on one.
It is often adds to the stress levels when you try to organise something big or new, but it is easy to connect while doing the same old stuff you always do.
Here are some of the ways we reconnect when things feel wonky…
- Go for a walk – just walk, hold a hand if they will let you, talk and notice things.
- Sit down next to someone – just plonking myself down on the couch next to one of my kids and doing nothing else but being close, even if they are watching TV, helps.
- Grow something – there is something about planting a seed or digging in the dirt that is very grounding for everyone.
- Make art with them or beside them – don’t just set up the activity and watch, join in.
- Make time to snuggle – five minutes squished in bed with them in the evening is worth it’s weight in gold.
- Write a letter – my older kids love to get a letter from me on their pillow, with paper and pen to write back.
- Do a job together – fold the washing, weed the garden, wash the dishes… just the two of you.
- Dance! – my kids may roll their eyes at me but a little crazy dance party and bad singing always helps
Recognising when we need to reconnect with our kids, and ourselves can be hard to do. And it can be even harder to make the time to do it… but it is worth it.