Slow Days
Sometimes I get so caught up in ‘do more, have more.’
I find myself feeling guilty that my kids are only doing two after school activities each, or that we don’t have enough money for a big pool or a fancy holiday. I find myself feeling selfish for wanting to have a day or two doing nothing and going no where.
How did we get so caught up in the idea that we need to fill every second of our days, and our children’s days, with ‘something’?
I often feel like this is a line we have been sold by marketers to make us buy more things. The idea that if we don’t do it all and have it all, then we are somehow missing out. The idea that we need to have it all and do it all NOW, or we are somehow not successful.
Is this just a giant marketing tool that has crept into our lives so silently that we haven’t even noticed?
We’ve not noticed that trying to cram more things into our lives doesn’t actually make us any happier. Trying to fit more academics and more after school activities and more stuff into our children’s lives doesn’t make them happier either… or smarter…
When I step out of the rat race and take a moment to slow down, I realise that it is in fact the opposite…
It is not the insanely busy days that make us happy.
It is not when I am running from one activity to another, trying to juggle everyone, that I am at the best parent.
It is not when I am cramming in some extra paid work late at night, and trying to be everything to everyone that I feel most content.
It is not when my husband is working long hours and coming home to a list of other jobs and outings as long as his arms that he is the most cheerful.
It is not when my kids are trying to fit in homework around after school activities and play dates that they are happiest.
It is when we put all of that aside and have a slow day, when we ‘ban busy’, that’s when we are all happy.
Slow days…
When it doesn’t matter what we wear, we can stay in our PJs if we want to.
When the answer to ‘what are we doing today?’ is a big fat NOTHING.
When we have time to just play.
When we have time to just talk.
When we have time to choose what we’d like to do.
When we have time to really think about what we want and need.
When we have time to realise how happy we are.
There is nothing wrong with doing lots of great stuff, but lets not rush through our lives simply doing more and getting more because we can, or because we think we will miss out…
Lets make time for slow days so we have time to just be ourselves and remember how wonderful that feels.
Love this post Kate and I love Shawn’s Ban Busy challenge too. I am totally feeling this lately… need to cut down, enjoy some peace and quiet, and remember that life is about being present and not looking forward all the time. xx
We love our slow family days and have realised with our oldest staring big school this year, that they were even more important than ever. We now put them onto the calendar, so they don’t get lost in the rush of life.
Huh, I’ve been “Slow Parenting” before Slow Parenting was cool!
I’m a mom, step-mom and Grammy. When my children were little we couldn’t afford all the activities that are almost a prerequisite for life these days. So I slow parented out of necessity. Looking back, maybe they didn’t get to go on all the trips but they still remember the one they did go on. They remember camping trips where we just enjoyed the sound of nature.
Really, kids just need a little time to be in their own heads, to daydream, to explore, to just be. Not that a little organized activity isn’t a bad thing either. It’s just not the end all be all. Sometimes laying in a hammock, reading or watching clouds fly by is important too. Or laying under a tree watching an ant push a crumb up over a stone is important too. How about just going outside and have a game of flashlight or water gun tag with the neighborhood kids on a summer night? (as long as the neighborhood knows about it)