We are still fighting the evil beast that is reflux, and despite having done this all before (and in stereo) when the girls were little, it’s surprising how quickly I forgot the basics.
So in case you ever find yourself with a spewy baby here are ten things I know (or have suddenly remembered) about infant reflux….
- It doesn’t matter if is 2 minutes or 2 hours since his last feed, the baby will spew when you buckle him into his car seat.
- A bib will be your baby’s main fashion accessory. It needs to be big, and absorbent and you may as well splurge on some cool ones!
- You will go out with spew all down your back and not realise it until you get home… and you’ll wonder why on earth no one ever told you!
- You will allow various friends and relatives to hold the baby and leave with spew all down their backs without telling them, in revenge for #3
- Yes, that awful, sour, off cheese, kind of smell is coming from you, or your baby, or both.
- You will begin shopping for brightly coloured clothing with insanely busy patterns in an vain attempt to camouflage the trails of spew.
- When people ask to hold the baby you always respond with a warning: “Sure, but he’ll spew on you.”
- People will hand back the baby quick smart when they realise just how much spew you were talking about.
- Ricotta cheese is suddenly a lot less appetising.
- You will suddenly realise how many words you have for ‘vomit’…. hurl, spew, chuck, spit-up, fountain face, techni-colour yawn, rolf, chunder….
So what do you know today?
And NEVER wear black. That white streak might never come out!
Ironically, I had a happy chucker and one with silent reflux. I kept several nappies in every room and only wore a bra with a shirt next to the door, so if someone knocked I could put it on. When she finally stopped I threw out all the shirts.
I hope the drugs help!
Oh, gawd, the memories!
Aspie teen could projectile chunder to Olympic standard!
I like to call it chunder