*warning – this post contains some mildy offensive language*
The Twinadoes start kinder (preschool) in a little over a week. Lately I have been noticing several phrases that they use which I probably would rather they not share with their new teachers and kinder class mates.
They got this from me. Zoe says it all the time and Izzy uses simply ‘crappy’ to describe all manner of things.
“Bugger” and “Buggery Bollocks”
If it were just ‘bugger’ it would probably not be a problem, thanks to that ad a few years back which made ‘bugger’ a totally ok word to use in public. The problem, I think, is when they add ‘-ery bollocks’ to the end of it, and I blame their father for this one.
I also blame their father for this one. They have no idea what it means and don’t use it appropriately but think it is rather funny none the less.
The words alone are not such a problem but read this old post to find out why this one is really not appropriate!
“Daddy’s a lazy bastard”
This one, once again, is my fault. I knew as soon as the words came out of my mouth that I was going to regret it. In my defence, it was a totally accurate description of the Baldy Boy at the time though. He’d just chucked the baby seat in the big white van and not put it in properly so when I came out the next morning, three kids in tow, running late (as usual) and found that I had to install the baby seat, I was less than impressed and I let it slip under my breath … “lazy bastard”. “What did you say?” asks Zoe and before my tired brain can catch up with my mouth I realise I have said “Daddy’s a lazy bastard”
“Daddy’s a lazy bastard… daddy’s a lazy bastard” Sings my four year old child.
I guess I should be grateful that we don’t regularly use any other swear words that the girls could have picked up on. These few are mild in the big scheme of cuss words I know. There will be other things though, a part from these not so nice utterances, that my children will share with their kinder teacher though… I know this because I was once that kinder teacher and the things I have heard from the mouths of four year olds would make your hair curl!
I remember distinctly the gorgeous, petite, curly haired little poppet who’s name was Holly. She spent a large amount of her time playing in home corner, being Mummy. She also used to drop the F-bomb each time something didn’t go her way….
“Baby you have to stop crying now. Baby! Stop F-ing crying!”
There was a small boy called Thomas who one day told everyone at group time his ‘news’…
“Mummy says Daddy was ‘doing’ our neighbour lady and she is making him sleep in the car now”
Once we had the police education officer come and visit and when the nice young constable asked the group of three and four year olds if they knew what the police did one little girl said;
“I know! The police put my daddy in a cage because he had drunk too many beers”
So I am sure there will be more gems about our lives that my girls will see fit to share with the world, while I will secretly wish they wouldn’t. The good thing is, kinder teachers are smart folk. They know how to keep things to themselves and I am sure most don’t hold any of your dirty little secrets against you – at least I hope the Twinadoes teacher won’t! Plus I can get my own back.. I can blog about them!