Things I need to stop the Twinadoes saying before next week…
*warning – this post contains some mildy offensive language*
The Twinadoes start kinder (preschool) in a little over a week. Lately I have been noticing several phrases that they use which I probably would rather they not share with their new teachers and kinder class mates.
“Totally Crappy”
They got this from me. Zoe says it all the time and Izzy uses simply ‘crappy’ to describe all manner of things.
“Bugger” and “Buggery Bollocks”
If it were just ‘bugger’ it would probably not be a problem, thanks to that ad a few years back which made ‘bugger’ a totally ok word to use in public. The problem, I think, is when they add ‘-ery bollocks’ to the end of it, and I blame their father for this one.
“Pisser”
I also blame their father for this one. They have no idea what it means and don’t use it appropriately but think it is rather funny none the less.
“You Indian”
The words alone are not such a problem but read this old post to find out why this one is really not appropriate!
“Daddy’s a lazy bastard”
This one, once again, is my fault. I knew as soon as the words came out of my mouth that I was going to regret it. In my defence, it was a totally accurate description of the Baldy Boy at the time though. He’d just chucked the baby seat in the big white van and not put it in properly so when I came out the next morning, three kids in tow, running late (as usual) and found that I had to install the baby seat, I was less than impressed and I let it slip under my breath … “lazy bastard”. “What did you say?” asks Zoe and before my tired brain can catch up with my mouth I realise I have said “Daddy’s a lazy bastard”
“Daddy’s a lazy bastard… daddy’s a lazy bastard” Sings my four year old child.
oops….
I guess I should be grateful that we don’t regularly use any other swear words that the girls could have picked up on. These few are mild in the big scheme of cuss words I know. There will be other things though, a part from these not so nice utterances, that my children will share with their kinder teacher though… I know this because I was once that kinder teacher and the things I have heard from the mouths of four year olds would make your hair curl!
I remember distinctly the gorgeous, petite, curly haired little poppet who’s name was Holly. She spent a large amount of her time playing in home corner, being Mummy. She also used to drop the F-bomb each time something didn’t go her way….
“Baby you have to stop crying now. Baby! Stop F-ing crying!”
There was a small boy called Thomas who one day told everyone at group time his ‘news’…
“Mummy says Daddy was ‘doing’ our neighbour lady and she is making him sleep in the car now”
Once we had the police education officer come and visit and when the nice young constable asked the group of three and four year olds if they knew what the police did one little girl said;
“I know! The police put my daddy in a cage because he had drunk too many beers”
So I am sure there will be more gems about our lives that my girls will see fit to share with the world, while I will secretly wish they wouldn’t. The good thing is, kinder teachers are smart folk. They know how to keep things to themselves and I am sure most don’t hold any of your dirty little secrets against you – at least I hope the Twinadoes teacher won’t! Plus I can get my own back.. I can blog about them!
Haha oh dear!
Compared to your stories, the twins sound like they’ll be fine in the language stakes!
I have wondered what children will be like in 10 years, grown up and having been blogged about! Certainly not what we grew up with!
Good luck next week!
Oh LOL. Now you got me wondering about the little things Im sure beren talks about at preschool heehee
Hilarious! I love the “Daddy is a lazy bastard”. I would have said that too if mine had not put the car seat in. Once when I was changing Guerita’s nappy (she was about 2) the phone rang and I said “Oh bugger!” For about 6 months after, every time the phone range she would say “Oh Bugger”. My family thought it was hilarious and would constantly ring us just to hear her say it! Also Guerita always says “Daddy beat me”, meaning he won the race or the game , but I always wonder what the teachers think if she says that at school!
Oh and one of my niece’s friends told her that her Daddy wears lady’s clothes!
haha.. arent kids priceless .. yes my children have unfortunately adopted a shocking tongue .. we are pretty good around the unless daddy is watching the Football! .. and well master Tom .. the middle child can be very colourful!
I can appreciate this story because we often have to scold the children at the International school where I work for swearing in their native languages. Or using inappropriate words.
Most of the kids are Japanese but recently an Indian girl was in our class and the first Japanese word she learnt after itadakimasu (something you say before you eat in Japanese) followed by `bum hole`….
I am really bad though because this kids pick up on a lot of what I say and then reuse it…One of the worst is `crap` The kids will often fall over and say `crap` I have made a real effort to stop saying this now but the kids never forget.
There are some aussie slang they use also like `oops, I stacked it` The first time one of the students said that in front of the new half american owner she was puzzled at what she had meant…I forget that some things are only used in Australia.
All the kids say `togs` for their swim wear also!
Ps: Tell your kids that they need to be careful that the teachers at school might wash their mouths out with soap if they repeat any of the above. They will probably be too scared to say them then!!!
pps: Nice blog, I came over via the Aussie Bloggers forums!
ROFL!!! These are hilarious. I often wonder what Liam repeats in front of teachers etc at school *cringe* Thankfully most people can’t understand when Sienna says F*** cos it comes out “ucghhh” :D
Oh damn it! I can’t stop giggling! I LOVE reading your blog, you make me smile on the grumpiest days :). Your kids are just adorable *smile*
Oh dear, All of those little nuggets had me falling off my chair in laughter.! Thankyou.
I am having to watch my mouth more now too, especially the crap word.
LOL with my teen’s potty mouth and (me to him) I am in for trouble. I read a post on word substitution – by Jenn at Amazing Trips the f bomb becomes ‘berry’ – berrying – I know it is nearly as satisfying but with monkey hear and say what can you do.
Goodluck