He is my ‘big boy’.
He is my ‘middle child’.
He is eight today.
Eight seems so in between… so grown up yet so little.
This past year has seen so many things change, and so many things stay the same.
I walk on egg shells often, not wanting to break the spell of this in between stage.
This is a little space where I can still hold his hand occasionally, where he still wants a hug before bed, and where maybe, just maybe, I can still tell him some important things and he might just listen.
Things I Want my Boy to Know
It’s Ok to be who you are.
Even if that person is not like ‘everyone else’. Even if everyone is expecting you to be different. Even when you feel pressure to change. Even then, especially then, it is ok to be you.
You’ve got time.
Don’t worry about missing out, you have plenty of time to do lots of things.
Don’t be in a hurry to grow up, there is plenty of time for that.
Enjoy where you are, what you are doing, and who you are right now as much as you can.
You are not just the things you are good at.
You can’t be good at everything, and that’s ok. It’s ok to just be ‘average’, it’s also ok to stink at some things.
But the things you are good at, while they are awesome and great, they are not the only things that define you.
It is always ok to ask a question.
Ask politely, but always ask. There is no such thing as a stupid question.
If you have the opportunity to try something, have a go. You never know what will happen!
It’s ok to feel things.
Society might try to tell you that boys are ‘tough’, that boys ‘don’t cry’, that men don’t do ‘sissy things’… but that’s bullshit.
It’s ok to feel things – to feel joy and sadness, to feel despair and injustice, to feel love and empathy, and it’s ok to express those feelings.
Be kind and say thank you.
If you have an opportunity to be kind, do it. If you are grateful for someone, tell them.
Listen to your instincts.
There is a reason why things make you feel nervous or excited, listen to those feelings and let them help you, but not overwhelm you.
There is also a reason why you feel funny if something isn’t right, listen to that gut instinct, and go with it.
Listen to your mother.
I promise I am not just saying ‘put your jacket on’ for the sake of making noise. The same thing applies to the phrases ‘do your shoe laces up’ and ‘it’s 3 degrees outside, wear shoes’.
I may not know everything but I’ve learned a lot in my life and I want to share it with you.
We will always love you.
Even when you have made a mistake. Even when you are being a right royal pain in the bum. Even when you think you are not worth it.
We will always love you, forever and ever, for always and always, no matter what.
Happy birthday Morgan Muski Butterfly Marshmallow Poopface.