I want to do too much.
I have all these ideas for things I’d like to do, for me, for the family, for the kids, for the house. I want to digi scrap, I want to design, I want to sew and draw and be all kinds of crafty. I want to blog and email and twitter. I want to garden and grow things, I want to grow enough to try out a farmers market stall. I want to cook things from scratch, make bread every day. I want to do all kinds of cool activities with my kids and take them places and do things with them. I want to spend time with the Baldy Boy and just laugh and be silly. I want to spend time with friends and laugh and be silly.
I want it all, and I want it now…. (lets all break into song together….)
I have to make myself stop. I can’t have it all, I don’t have the skills, the time, the money, the motivation to have it all, and trying to have it all makes me grumpy. Grumpy me is not good. It doesn’t help me even have half of ‘it all’ and it makes everyone around me miserable too.
At the start of the year I made some ‘goals’ for what I wanted to do with my blog(s) and where I wanted to go with my digital design work. I still like the idea of those goals but they are stretching me a bit thin right now and stressing me out and in fact causing me to achieve less and enjoy it a lot less. Time for a re-think.
I thought I wanted to separate the design me from the rest of me and blog that separately. I spent a long time perfecting my lazy cow designs website and had all these ideas for blogging over there, but now that I am actually doing it I am finding it hard to be ‘two blogging people’. So many things seem to cross over from the ‘lazy cow me’ to the ‘picklebum me’ and I am finding compartmentalising myself rather stressful. It has taken a lot of the joy out of blogging for me and that is not where I wanted to be when I made the decision to become a split personality.
I’d been stewing over things a lot in the past week or so, and very nearly decided to give the design side of me away completely. I finally spewed forth some of my stress onto a very wise, very wonderful friend who knows the ‘lazy cow me’ just as well as the ‘picklebums me’ and she helped me sort out a few things and make a few decisions. I am not giving up digi scrap designing, and I am not ditching my lazy cow designs web site.
I love playing with digital designs, I love digi scrapping, I love being a part of pickleberrypop.com and I love doing custom greeting cards and invitations for people. I don’t want to give all that up right now…. but I do need to be wiser about how I spend my time. So I am going to stop blogging at lazy cow designs, the site will remain as the place to go if you want information about my designs or to order custom work I just won’t be blogging there.
Now you can find all of my multiple blogging personalities here. You’ll have to put up with the odd post about my latest digi scrap design, or freebie to download and the odd post about the latest and coolest design or creative ideas I have had or found. Flickr Friday will be migrating over to here as off next week (we are having a rest this week) since I am enjoying that quite a bit, and you can expect other more creative, crafty kind of posts to pop up among the regular blogging ramble that appears here almost every day.
I still have to work out some time management and find a way to make my time on the computer more productive, a way to make my time in general, whatever I am doing more productive, and to work on finding some kind of balance between all the things I want to do. This is just a first step, but it already makes me feel better!
Now I just need to tell myself over and over that I have the rest of my life to do all the things I want to do. Drawing and reading blogs will be there tomorrow, and next week…. I won’t ‘miss out’ if I just slow down, smile and spend time with my family.