Too Soon.
A while back I blogged about premmie babies for Australia’s Premmie Awareness Week. This time it is for the US based March of Dimes Fight for Preemies (I didn’t miss-type that, they just add an extra e in the US) supported by Bloggers Unite.
Zoe 6 weeks old
Izzy 6 weeks old
Of course our experience with babies born too soon is rather fresh in my mind, having just celebrated the girls’ birthday. It’s hard to believe that it’s been six years since they were born. If you look at them today, as two six year old girls, you’d never know that they were born 11 weeks early. You’d have no clue that they weighed 1.13kgs and 900grams each. You couldn’t tell how close we came to loosing them before they were even born.
But there are things, little things, things only I notice that remind me.
They both have tiny lines of scar under their noses from the weeks and weeks of c-pap tubes wearing away their delicate skin.
Zoe has an asterisk shaped scar under her left arm from the chest tube used to treat her pneumothorax (hole in her lung) when she was three days old.
Then there are the other things…. things that may or may not be because they were born early. Things that make you wonder, and worry and wonder some more. The allergies, the asthma, the sensitivity, the emotional immaturity. Maybe those are related to being born too soon? Or maybe not.
In the early days I wanted to wish away the fact that the girls were born early. I was desperate for them, for our lives, to be ‘normal’. I wanted them to grow up and away from being prem babies and to forget it had ever happened.
Time has made me a little wiser though. Being able to watch them grow and thrive has give me a different perspective. I don’t wish away their difficult beginning because that is part of who they are. It is part of who I am.
If someone gave me a magic wand and told me I could change history…. I’d probably still do it… maybe….
But we have walked that path and made it through that journey… so I think I’d rather use that wand to change the future. I’d wish the path of the premmie babies to come to be a smooth and easy one, a short road to a happy and healthy baby.
If you are in the US you can donate to March of Dimes Fight for Preemies. If you are in Australia you can donate directly to any major maternity or children’s hospital in your state with a NICU. We donate to RWH NICU in our girl’s name each Christmas.
Such fresh memories yet it must all seem so long ago in the next breath. Yours and the girls journey is one of such amazing inspiration hoping you have had a wonderful birthday weekend
At a loss for words. Much love to your little miracles, and their strong mum and dad! Although C was nowhere near as early as your girls I have many similar feelings, especially about wishing the born-early bit away. xxoo
Thank you for joining our Fight for Preemies event and sharing your story. I was moved by your description of the daily reminder of their early birth by the little scars they carry.
How beautiful are you girls? Teeny tiny hands and beautiful locks of dark hair oh so cute. And how comfy. I wish I had all that to sleep on.
You know asthma has nothing to do with being prem My daughter born 3 days late and my sone cesarean breach 2 weeks early were 3.8kg and 4.3kg, big baby and huge baby they still have asthma. We dont go near smokers etc etc etc The allergies, I dont think I know a single person who is not allergic to something and as for the emotional immiturity. 6 year old girls, two of them together its going to last a few more years yet. GIRLS!!! I think it peeks at 12.
The scars you talk about are a reminder of the biggest battle of their life, hopefully oneday if things get a bit tough they can look in the mirror, see a tiny faded scar and say to themselves If I can fight to live then I can do this too.
Oh i’m so torn looking at the pictures of your beautiful girls. I’ve been reading your blog for quite some time and there seems to be some similarities between the two of us…I’m a kindergarten teacher, i live in almost rural Melbourne and i find myself pregnant with monoamniotic twin girls. I’m currently 21 weeks and knowing that they will be born at 32 weeks AT THE LATEST! is both a comfort and worry. Worry because they will be so tiny, but comforting because at least they will have made it out safely.. It is so nice to see just how gorgeous your two have grown up to be and it gives me hope that my two will also have that chance.
It used to really bug me that there was so much about Erin that might be because of her prematurity or might not be. As though find a course would make it easier.