Some days, ok most days, I get to the part where I am about to put dinner on the table and in that millisecond, when everyone is still and quiet as they wait for food, I suddenly see what lays ahead of me and I want to bail.
I want to jump ship right then and there.
I want to walk out into the paddocks.
I want to get in the car and drive away.
I want to discover a magic spell that will take me from that moment to bed time, bypassing all the mayhem in the middle.
This is my ‘arsenic hour’.
We try to cram in eating, cleaning up, brushing of teeth, reading of books, and getting to bed in an hour or so when everyone is already tired, stressed and quickly loosing their minds.
It’s not pretty.
Abracadabra! Simsallabim! Presto Chango! Leveosaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Perhaps if I say the magic words over and over one day it will happen….
This is what I am struggling with at the moment.
(That, and the random animals that keep cropping up in inconvenient places.)
What parenting stuff are you struggling with right now?
I lost Olive at the shopping centre this afternoon. have never felt so desperately afraid for her safety. Thankfully she was found and brave up until she saw the tears streaming down my face. Now ready for a stiff drink and a huge helping of chocolate (we’ll share the chocolate).
Tantrums. Having a Threenager. Trying not to lose my mind/temper/keys/purse. Basically everything that happens between opening my eyes in the morning and closing them at some point that night! lol
Thank you for writing this. I’m struggling with ‘3’. The tears and the tantrums. The crocodile tears and wailing in an attempt to get her own way. The constant ‘no’. There’s some late stage toilet training in there too which is absolutely doing my head in. All of a sudden I’m tempted to go back to nappies when I thought I’d bought my last pull-up weeks ago. She’s just so defiantly stubborn, just like me.
I’ve been having an arsenic day today. It’s just been awful with tempers flaring by all of us today. But in general from when my kids get out the bath after dinner until they finally fall asleep is probably the most stressful part of the day.
If you find that magic spell please send it my way.
Oh my goodness…great post…i feel the same at that time of afternoon…sometimes really wishing someone could just come in and ‘sort it’ and then i shall return!
I’m struggling with twin 18 month olds who are so very different…the fights, the attention seeking, the jealousy over who has mummy….but the cuddles are good!
let me know if you ever find those magic words please!
I have had that exact same feeling Kate … wishing for the strength to stay and in the same breath wishing I could just drive as far and as fast as I can :). I have “older” issues at the moment. I’m dealing with Dad’s, daughter’s and dating and its doing my head in.
Struggling with being the mother of two children who throw tantrums in public ( my oldest does not, thank goodness). They scream like someone is cutting off their limbs, and everyone looks at me as if I have the power to stop them, and I don’t. I have done everything that I can think of to get them to quiet down mid-tantrum, and they could care less. I think maybe they enjoy seeing me turning red, sweating profusely, and completely mortified. Even when I try to remove them from the public area to a private one, they stand their ground or go limp or fight against me, and it looks like I am trying to kidnap my own children. The two who do this are 4 and 5…keep waiting for them to grow out of this…sigh…
We had a smooth week this week. I realise it’s only week one of school, but it was smooth. Next week I have to go back to working three nights a week, on top of everything I did this week, the thought of it makes me gag! I struggle with going to work late arvo, and coming home to a pig sty. Having to wake up each morning on the back foot clearing up from the day before. It kills me. I’m the only one that cares, but I can’t let it go. Welcome to my struggle town.
That last hour, or so, of the day is a bit of a killer. Our two girls are going to different schools this year which are not close together and there are no school buses which means lots and lots of driving. Thankfully a friend and I carpool, but it also means that my son doesn’t have his afternoon sleep so anytime after 2.30pm is not fun at all. Thankfully he is in bed by 7pm, but sometimes that seems like an eternity away. Jacinta
Hey Alicia, throw one next time with them, embarrass them back just as much, they won’t do it again. And really anyone who is a parent understands exactly where your coming from. No one judges you because your not giving in to your child’s tantrums. I have a 2 and 3 year old, and if they throw a tantrum I throw one back at them, they ve practically stopped doing it now, cause they know it doesn’t work, they’re trying to get you to give in, the little tricksters XD. And if they’re not coming with you, just keep walking they’ll realize when your serious that your leaving, they’ll want to come with you! My three year old likes to test me on that.. (he’s almost four, in may) as soon as I go around the corner, he comes running. XD
Ah “The Hell Hour”!
“The more things change the more they remain the same”.
I remember the same feelings with my children.
Then I decided to have a little glass of sherry at 4 pm. This grew to a glass or two of sherry. Then thankfully I saw “Days of Wine and Roses” with Jack Lemmon and his alcoholic wife. Next day and thence forth no sherry.
Quite frankly it is enough to drive you to drink, But dont!
As Kate says in time it will pass and you will wish the difficulties could be so simple.
Jill
I’m so glad to have read this. I appreciate it so much when other mom’s will talk about the harder times they have. It makes me feel better to know that I’m not the only one that has an “arsenic hour” as you mentioned!!
I have been struggling to help my 2 and 3 year old learn to listen. And lately it’s been driving me absolutely insane. Especially right before nap time. Just this past Wednesday they refused to clean their room and dumped everything out that wasn’t already on the floor…so I made them stay in their room until they cleaned it all up. It took two hours, but it seemed like a small battle won, and they are much more attentive when asked to clean up (for now).
I despise having to repeat myself and I’ve been a one track record stuck on repeat since the beginning of the year! “Don’t jump off the furniture!” or “Don’t throw your toys at the TV”. “Eat your dinner!” “Put your clothes back on!” It will pass, or at least come in different forms as they grow, but I sure do agree with you.
Many hugs and happiness to you as we journey through Motherhood! Let’s hope we survive it!
I brace myself everyday for the post-4pm part of the day. One’s always whinging and whining, clinging to my leg, and the other wants me to do things I can’t possibly do while ‘the koala’ is awake. While I’m doing my best to keep calm with two big voices wanting to be heard, I’m in the kitchen trying to get their dinner on the table. I manage it, they sit down, and then begins another struggle. And the mess… Rice, chicken, carrot all over the floor, even managing to get under the sofa, mixed up with raspberries, yoghurt and sticky dates. One’s screaming to get down, and once I get him cleared up, I know I’ve got about 10 seconds to clean the floor before he ‘takes’ it places. I’m too late. He’s wheeled his wooden walker through the yoghurty, raspberry, sticky rice. It’s everywhere. I put him outside on the decking to clear up and forget to put the dog’s bowls out of reach. He’s poured her entire water all over him and he’s drenched. And it goes on and on… Yes, sometimes, I want to walk away. Sometimes I yearn for a house that’s clean and tidy for more than 20 minutes. But then, I know they’ll be off to school tomorrow, and my problems and worries will be far greater. Homework, bullying, teenage stuff. Yuk.
I know this stage is so much easier, so instead of getting angry, I try and just let it be. I take the walker away, and let him ‘play’ a little with the yoghurt on the floor. I’ll clean it up later…
Adjusting my 5 yr old to kindergarten. First time Ive been without babies at home, and its kinda hard. Hope she settles in soon.
ohh kate… sending big hugs :) I love Granma Jill’s idea of a sherry… sometimes if we could click our fingers… ohh wouldn’t that be lovely xx