When Nanny asks him to put the ipad away he replies in his intensly cute little two year old voice “Ok Nanny” and he trots off to put the ipad on the shelf.
When I ask him to put the ipad away I have to wrench it from his vice like grip and then he cries till he pukes.
And it’s not just the toddler… they all do it.
Why do they give me so much grief?
Actually, I know why.
I’ve even explained it to friends who’ve been having a hard time, and it makes perfect sense.
They give me so much grief because they feel secure and safe with me.
They know that I love them no matter what.
Even if they screech at me, even if they lash out, even if they cry till they vomit. They know I will still love them so they don’t have to work so hard to keep all those big emotions in check. They know I will keep them safe so they can try out behaviors and test boundaries.
So they don’t behave badly because I am doing such a terrible job as a parent. Actually they give me grief because I’m doing ok as a parent. I may have many, many, not so stellar parenting moments, but my kids know that I love them and know I will keep them safe… that is why they are sometimes so terribly behaved for me.
Now why can’t I remember that in the moment when I am feeling like a big failure and questioning every parenting choice I’ve ever made??