I’m not supposed to complain about this topic… because you know… I’ve created a ‘rod for my back’ and I ‘made my bed and now I have to lie in it’… which is a tad ironic since I am talking about co-sleeping.
Yes, my ‘not-such-a-baby-any-more-baby’ co-sleeps.
That is, he sleeps in our room, and in or near our bed.
Actually he sleeps in a cot that has one side removed and is attached to the side of our bed and has done since he was born.
His sisters also slept in our room, initially together in a cot that was pushed up against our bed, and later in their own cots next to our bed.
I ‘believe’ in co-sleeping. I believe in the benefits of co-sleeping for both the child and the parents.
I am also a ‘lazy mother’.
I don’t want to get out of bed to feed the baby, or settle the baby. Heck, once I am in bed I don’t want to get out even if the house is burning down! It’s cold, and dark and if I wake up enough to get out of bed it takes me ages to fall back to sleep again.
I’m lazy – I want to be there for my kids, I want to breastfeed but I want to do it in the easiest way possible.
Plus Muski didn’t sleep much as a baby, and anyone who has a baby who doesn’t sleep will know, you’ll do anything, sleep anywhere, if the baby will just nod off for a little while. Whatever works, works.
So yep, I’m all for co-sleeping.
Except….
I really don’t like it much…
In fact, right now, I really don’t like it at all.
It’s not just about the Small Boy. I don’t like co-sleeping with anyone, not even my husband. I’d really like a big bed and a room of my own, thanks very much.
It’s just that I don’t like being breathed on, or snored at, or cuddled while I sleep. And you see, here is where the rod comes in, I sleep in the middle, the middle of two snoring and farting males who both like to lie facing me and they breathe on me!!!!
Arrrghh!
I need my own air people.
I need MY OWN AIR!
Not air you’ve already sucked all the goodness out of and breathed back in my face.
I’ll suffocate if I don’t get my own clean, fresh, air!
Ahem… um ok…oops…. don’t know where that little outburst came from.
But anyway… the air thing aside, my newest co-sleeping pet hate is touching.
Muski likes to touch me. To be precise, he likes to run his hand up my arm, under my sleeve to my arm pit. Upppp… and down… uuuupppp… and down. He might stop and play with the wrinkly skin of my elbow on occasion just to really drive me nuts. And oh my the tears if I’m not wearing sleeves!
Just writing about it is making my skin crawl.
In my more stellar ‘Mother of Year’ moments I’ve been known to scream at my baby boy in the middle of the night, “Just stop touching me!”
Oh how mature, and of course, it is met with floods of tears, and me being lazy (see that bit above) I grit my teeth and hand over my arm just so he’ll go back to sleep and I don’t have to actually get out of bed and do something.
Hello Rod! How nice of you to drop by.
I’m not here to tell you all that you should co-sleep. I’m not looking for advice, or even sympathy.
Eventually there will be another bedroom, eventually Muski will sleep in it happily, and in the mean time, just in case you thought it was all puppy dogs and roses when it comes to parenting….
Here I am, rod firmly attached to my spine, bed most uncomfortably made, still believing in the benefits, still knowing this is better for us than the alternative non-lazy parenting options… and despite all that, I’m still complaining.
I’m definitely winning at this parenting gig right?
Nic Leszinsky says
Oh poor Kate, LOL that post gave me a giggle. I hate hate hate hate being breathed on too, I have to have at least a half metre space between me and beren or freya.
Rach says
This was hilarious! I laughed so hard about the air thing, but only because I can totally relate… Can’t stand not getting the fresh air… Even if I end up with the doona or blanket on my head, I dont even want to breathe in my own used air LOL
Mistress B says
I am SO with you on the air thing! I often go crook at my hubby for breathing on me lmao
Karen Hartzell, Graco says
Why do husbands always feel the need to face us and breathe on us???? ARGH! I am so with you on this one! I need my space. but I also confess I like to touch DH’s arm as I fall asleep and he HATES it. lol
Cosleeping is not for everyone, but sometimes it makes sense for some of us.
Shae says
I totally hear you on sharing air! I hate it! And we have a bloody tribe of people in our family bed.
Hugs
Lightening says
LOL – sometimes we just need to vent in order to pick up and keep going with things that are hard but you believe in. :)
Blossom says
“It’s not just about the Small Boy. I don’t like co-sleeping with anyone, not even my husband. I’d really like a big bed and a room of my own, thanks very much. It’s just that I don’t like being breathed on… or snored at… or cuddled while I sleep. And see here is where the rod comes in… I sleep in the middle. The middle of two snoring and farting males who both like to lie facing me and they breathe on me!!!!
Arrrghh!
I need my own air people… I need MY OWN AIR… not air you’ve already sucked all the goodness out of and breathed back in my face. I’ll suffocate if I don’t get my own clean, fresh, air!”
ohh I could have written this.I hate to be touched or breathed on..it drives me mad!!!
So I hear you girl….
hugs
Sif says
Oh, I really can related to the don’t touch me/breathe on me/snore at me thing! My babies sleep in the middle so I can face out of the bed and get my own air, but I’ve got firm plans to have my own bed in my own room when the last one moves out!!!
Alison (3xkewl) says
Lol.. Nothing helpful to offer I’m afraid, but I did find your post quite amusing – mainly because I can SO relate to needing my own sleep space!
And the co-sleeping..
And the lazy middle of the night parenting..
Just think – Now you’ve blogged about it, chances are you’ll have it on record for his 21st.
Veronica says
Oooh, yeah. I feel you on this one.
Stitch Sista says
I hear ya!
Of course co-sleeping is especially frought when you have a sickie in bed, coughing, spluttering, or worse yet PUKING on you, in your bed, in the dark. (this happened last night).
But it still beats getting up in the middle of the night!!
HayleyB says
I can totally relate to the whole “don’t breath on me” thing! I want fresh air too!! I also hate sleeping with the window or door closed because I NEED MY AIR!!!!! I can’t believe it bothers me so much but it does.
Even though I don’t have kids (yet) I can imagine how hard it’d be to get up in the middle of the night to tend to/resettle a child (I have done this with my niece, and found it difficult even though I was only staying a few nights to help out my sister), so can really understand the “lazy parent” thing.
Sometimes you really do need to get things off your chest… breath… and then feel a bit better about everything (and sometimes to know you’re not the only one who feels that way!)
Cheryl aka cherpea says
Oh my I shouldn’t really laugh but girl you really have a knack with words…
I laughed so hard I spat the tea I had just taken a swallow of… I so hear you with the whole snoring… breathing thing…
but since my DH puts up with me putting my often cold bottom where cold bottoms shouldn’t go… well I kinda have to live with it… I do like having my very own human electric blanket… so much safer… no risk of fire… well you know what I mean
jodie says
suck it up! hehe
honestly though, while i firmly believe everyone should have the right to do whatever is best for them and their family i have never understood the arguments for co-sleeping… i cannot stand to share my space and my son was always more disturbed in his sleeping having me near him… he learnt to sleep far better and settle himself far more quickly when he was put in his own room (we went to sleep school and all to learn all of this :D…)
Reality Raver says
I totally relate to this post, just because I am co-sleeping with my baby and am getting less sleep then when he was born. By co-sleep I mean he comes into bed with me when he wakes up at about 11.00pm.
He is now 9 months old and wakes every 1-2 hours to latch onto the breast.
So I am currently teaching him to sleep in his own cot all night and wean him off the boob dependency as he is just suckling.
Tonight will be the third night and has only been crying 5 mins at a time, except for an hour this morning at 4.00am. So I am hoping a big slab of sleep without waking up.
Last night I was missing him from my bed, but had to hold firm.
PlanningQueen says
Kate I think you are hilarious!
Bec says
OH MY GOD! I hear you! I !HATE! being touched when I sleep! I’m such a light sleeper that it wakes me up. I also HATE the breathing thing. I like my air to be cool and fresh thank you very much.
Despite all that we co-sleep. We solely co-slept until we moved here and then we moved Erin in to her own room. We’re co sleeping again now because it’s cold and at the moment we only have one heater (hello poverty *sigh* ).
familyvalue says
So funny! I can sooooooooooooo relate to this! I’m also a fan of co-sleeping. SAME! Why should I get up out of my nice warm toasty bed if I don’t have to. And SAME! Why do I end up sleeping between 2 farty boys who touch! Ah! We must love ’em!
Shereen says
Ahaha…hilarious! Especially the bit about him touching your arm. I GET that. Except my little guy (who has been weaned for quite a while) likes to have his hand right down the front of my shirt. Gggggh. So annoying!! How are you supposed to sleep like that??