Sometimes the insanity of what we are doing really hits me.
We really are building our home, ourselves. That doesn’t mean we are ‘project managing’ like all the cashed up Brits on Grand Designs who have loads of contractors running around doing to actual building bits while they swan around in hard hats and argue with each other.
No… for us, that means we are actually doing the work. We dug the holes for the foundations. We raced around filling the holes with concrete. We built the floor and put up the wall frames. When we say ‘we are doing it ourselves’ we really are. Well, ok, at the moment it is my lovely husband who is doing most of the work along with a fabulous friend and various family members, but my time will come.
And until that time comes I seems to spend a fair bit of time wondering if we really are truly insane.
When the drought breaks after then years and floods your foundations not once, not twice but three times…
When your husband/builder is suddenly diagnosed with a life threatening heart condition, spends two weeks in hospital and comes home with a personal on-board computer…
When we chase chickens out of what will be our dining area…
When the current bathroom’s ceiling falls in…
When we play musical beds with children and shift working husbands…
When I cook in a kitchen which has no walls, no lights and is minus 2 degrees on some mornings…
When your job is to ‘hold that rope so the wall doesn’t fall down while I hammer’…
When playing ‘outside’ involves trying not to fall in huge muddy holes, or at least trying not to go in so deep that your gumboots fill up with stinky muddy water…
When rain cascades down your internal walls, the walls you want to keep…
When there is more mice living in your house than people…
When I think of all the work we’ve done, and worse, all the work we’ve yet to do… oh my the insanity!
But among all the insanity is a very strange sense of clarity. I am beginning to wonder if this enormous project is turning out to be a fabulous life lesson for me. (I know, now you really think I am insane!) I’m suddenly finding myself really appreciating what we have. I’m learning to not sweat the small stuff. I’m finding the perfection in imperfection. Quite surprisingly I’m finding contentment among the mess and frustration and inpatients…. even though that doesn’t make any sense at all!
But people do crazy things all the time, right?
And we’ll finish it one day, won’t we?
And when it’s done, then it will be crazy, crazy wonderful!
Yes, you’re insane. But yes, you will finish it one day. Everything passes (isn’t that what people always tell new mums? I guess home renovations aren’t so different). BUT I’m glad it’s you and not me ;-)
haha you’re an absolute nutcase!
Such a huge upheaval now. But I reckon your kids will look back and remember all the fun times and not the stress, that is how I remember my parents house building. Hope you find the same happy memories in years to come, you’ve certainly got a much more positive outlook about it now than I probably would have.
Kate
Thank you for this Insanity post. Your monstrous, marvelous, transforming project of building your house (BUILDING YOUR OWN HOUSE!) made me realize quite quickly that my husband and I remodeling our kitchen right now is a small scrape of what you are dealing with daily.
I will live vicariously via your dream that your family is making come true. YOU ARE BUILDING YOUR OWN HOUSE which will be your HOME. Not many people ever – ever – will have that story to tell. So far, I just have one dream of a kitchen story :) Cheers to insanity.
One day you’ll look back on it all and wonder “we really did all that? How did we survive?” It’ll be a great memory and a great achievement. Of course, in the meantime….. :-)
Love how you’re finding positives and personal growth out of it all!
All these things will become the stuff of family legend. When your kids are all grown up, you will be able to say remember when…. and wonder at your apparent lack of sanity.
I remember my parents extending their house by themselves. I can remember carting loads of dirt when digging the foundations. You make memories whilst you are busy doing other things!
Admire you lots Kate. I love that you can find the positives in a situation that many would find extraordinarily challenging to say the least.
Yes it is slightly insane but it’s a great insane! You’re building your home! What a sense of achievement you’ll have when it’s done. As others have said the craziness of now will make for great memories later
I’m imagining you chasing those chickens… Insanity yes. (And it seems that we have very similar themes/titles with our posts today!). Good luck with the rest of your renos. :)
Its certainly not boring at your place !
Yes, people all do crazy things at some point, but it’s all relative. Yes, yes, yes you will finish one day.
And most importantly when you have finished you will have an amazing house that isn’t just full of memories because you fill it physically, but because you built it. These renovation stories will form a rich part of your family’s tapestry, they will contribute to the family folklore long after you are gone (sorry for being morbid…) and most importantly, beyond the lessons you are learning are the ones your children are learning…
My grandfather and grandmother built their home and I remember being so proud as a kid. Now I realise how huge it was I am awed.
you’ll finish. you’ll have more space and you will all be a close family – just like now. Thank god you are who you are or you really would be insane!!!
I cannot for the life of me fathom how you are still smiling. I WISH I was the kind of gal who could build my own home, but I am so NOT that kind of gal. But I’m enjoying your posts about it a lot! x
But it’s an adventure, right?!
“Insanity is relative. It depends on who has who locked in what cage.”
Ray Bradbury
All renovations seem insane at the time – but that’s the biggest motivator to finish!