It takes a village to raise a child…
Well yes, but most of us don’t live in cosy little villages any more.
In fact lots of us don’t even live all that close to our immediate family, or maybe if we do, we don’t get along with them so well, especially when it comes to how we choose to raise our children… And so whatever village we had to begin with, gets smaller, and smaller, until suddenly we realise that most days we don’t talk to anyone over the age of 4.
Isolation sounds so desolate, like we are all alone, living in a one room shack, in a dark Antarctic winter. And sometimes that is exactly what it feels like when your village is too far away, physically or emotionally. The cracks begin to show and you question your choices, you begin to question whether you should ever have had children in the first place and why that guy loves you…
It takes a village…
But I don’t have a bloody village! I just have me, and him, and we are out numbered by children.
And then one day you decide that you really need that damn village. You need someone you can call in the middle of the night, someone who will notice when you are not ok, someone who will bring you frozen dinners and chocolate, someone to bloody talk to. And you need to be able to to do all of that for someone else too.
So I decided to build my darn village.
I am not the best village builder. My village is still kind of on the small side, but it’s there, and it’s strong, and it seems it is built to last.
I built mine with the help of the internet, where my ‘pretend online friends’ became ‘real friends’ and now a village.
They are the people I call when I need to escape with another adult or two for decent conversation. They are the people I call when I have run out of pred mix and my girl is having a bad asthma night. They are the people who just arrive with food and chocolate when they know I need them most. They are the people who’s ebb and flow fit perfectly into mine – I can look after your kids, you can let me update itunes on your internet. I can drive, you can listen to me waffle on because I just need to talk to someone.
My village is not perfect. For a start, I wish my village was geographically a lot closer together, like all on the same block kinda close. But imperfection has it’s charm and it’s benefits. My village has diversity which I value so much more than I ever thought I would.
My village is not what springs to mind when I hear that saying. We are no tribal community or hippy commune. We don’t share every day or even every week. We are not that text book village but we are still raising kids, our kids, together.
So it takes a village to raise a child huh??
That’s cool… I’ve got it covered!