A Tale of Dirty Socks and Why it’s Hard to Do Better When You Feel Bad.

Sometimes I send my kids to school cranky.

I try so hard to set the tone in the mornings, to keep a lid on my frustration, and to smooth the way into a good day, but sometimes it all just falls apart.

It can be as simple as the little one not wanting to eat breakfast, or as complex as the teenager not having any clean socks.

Lately we’ve all been tired, and a bit under the weather, and so ready for winter to be over, and the cranky mornings have been more common than I care to admit.

Why can’t I just smile and keep things moving along?
Why does everything have to be so difficult?
I know if I fall into the hole everyone will jump in after me.
Why can’t I keep it together?

And so the pile of mama guilt rose higher. And as I felt worse and worse, I handled things worse and worse, until I finally saw the same old vicious cycle starting me in the face again.

When you feel bad it’s hard to do better.
This is as true for adults as it is for kids.

So instead of piling on more guilt, instead of making myself feel bad and perpetuating the cycle, I’m working on letting it go.
I’m working on acknowledging the cranky, setting it free, and starting over.

As I dropped my teenagers at the bus stop this morning I said…
“I’m sorry we’ve had a cranky morning. Don’t let it ruin your whole day… love you”
And I took a deep breath and chose to start over.

A few minutes later I got a text message from the dirty-socked child on the bus…
“I’m sorry I lost it about the socks. See you after school.”

And with that, we both stepped out of the cycle, and chose to feel better, and do better.

Do you ever find yourself trapped in that vicious cycle of guilt, and crankiness, and all the bad stuff?

What do you do to help yourself get out of it?