Hands Off The Bump!

I know my stomach sticks out a long way at the moment.
I know it is round and hard like a watermelon just waiting to be squeezed.
I know you think you are ‘connecting with the baby’ somehow.

But seriously….. STOP TOUCHING ME!!!!!

I don’t care if you are related to me by birth or marriage.
I don’t care if you think you are being ‘funny’ because you already know how much I hate it.
I don’t care if you are some random grubby, fingered stranger at the supermarket.

HANDS OFF MY BUMP, YOU FREAK!

It is still part of me.
It is still my stomach.
It is still part of my personal space.

STOP TOUCHING MY BELLY.

If I manage to step back when you go for the grope, take the hint and stop there.
If I manage to intercept your hand and tell you politely that I don’t like it, don’t be offended.
If I hang a little sign on my stomach that says ‘don’t touch’, please read it!

KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF

I will happily answer your stupid questions.
I will happily tell you that I have no idea exactly when this baby will arrive.
I will happily agree that I must be insane to be having a fourth child.

JUST DON”T TOUCH MY STOMACH OK!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

22 Comments

  1. Oh, sing it, sister. This used to irk me soooo much when I was preggers. One of the things about pregnancy I’m glad not to have to go through again!

  2. I never minded about the belly but I understand. For me, it’s my feet. Don’t touch my feet.

    Hope the touchy feelers stay away. xx

  3. I so agree with you! It used to drive me nuts that complete strangers would somehow think it’s OK to reach out and grope. Hope the message gets through and the next few weeks are grope free (and a little extra hope that you don’t get asked any more stupid questions!)

  4. LOL Kate. I didn’t mind people touching my belly at all, but I know that others don’t feel the same way so I ALWAYS ask before putting my hands on another woman’s pregnant stomach!

  5. I’m wondering what kinda vibe I give off so that NO ONE EVER touches my equally pregnant belly. Everyone else I know seems to have the problem, I must be so do-not-touch-me-or-i’ll-smite-you that no one even tries. Surely that’s worse?! xxx

  6. Oh I am SO with you there! But thankfully, like Fiona, I managed to give off the don’t-touch-me vibe, and few people tried it. My sister-in-law was completely oblivious though.

    I felt even more strongly about my babies’ personal space. What damn right do people think they have touching babies’ heads?!

  7. Oh Kate, I hear you! Man alive, I had some people I hardly knew come and have a feel and I’m like. You don’t have permission to touch me!!!! I know that people think that they are ‘feeling’ the baby, but as you say, it’s part of YOU!

  8. That was the absolute worst part of pregnancy for me, feeling that I was suddenly public property. For my second pregnancy I was going to get ‘hands off’ tshirts printed, but strangely it didn’t attract as much attention. Except for Mother-in-law of course, nothing would stop her…

  9. You know it kills me you feel this way right?? It’s a testament to our friendship that I’ve stayed away from the belly rub lol.

  10. OMG I hated it to! found a t-shirt at Big W that said hands off the bump and boy did I wear it!

  11. LOL. Oh how I remember that. I don’t recall it bothering me too much (although it was a few years ago now), but yes I guess it could wear a bit thin after a while.
    Found you on FYBF
    Leanne
    (aka Deep Fried Fruit)

  12. I was always tempted to pat their head in return. My husband suggested ‘going the grope’ but I was never game enough to do that. Would love to see the look on their face if I did though…