No really… they are mine?
In case you missed the news, the Twindaoes turned five yesterday.
It’s a momentous occasion in this house, not only because we had two very excited five year olds to celebrate with, but because according to the odds we shouldn’t have either of them.
The girls were born almost 11 weeks early due to twin to twin transfusion syndrome (TTTS). When things first started to go wrong when I was 25 weeks pregnant we were told that if labour couldn’t be stopped and if the TTTS couldn’t be slowed, the odds of having two live babies were very small. When things got bad again at 27 weeks the odds of two healthy babies were still slim… and when the final call came that they were better out than in at 29 weeks and 2 days, the odds of both of them surviving were not good. We were told to expect the worst. At best we’d have two very premature babies with lots of complications, most likely only one of them would survive and there was a good chance neither of them would make it.
We were lucky. We were very lucky. We had an awesome team of people looking after us, an amazing doctor who knew just when to deliver the girls to give them the best chance at life and an amazing paediatrician who looked after them when they were born… but really, we were just lucky. Since the girls’ birth, I’ve met, corresponded and spoken with lots of people who have been through the nightmare of TTTS and I know the harsh reality of how many babies don’t make it…. I know just how incredibly lucky we are.
When I first got pregnant the thought had never entered my head that I might have more than one baby in there…. That was something that happened to other people, so was having prem babies. It was at my first visit to our OB at about 10 weeks that he did a ‘quick scan’ and announced “definitely two, maybe three babies”. That was the first time I did a double take and thought “No really… seriously… that doesn’t happen to me”. But it did. In the five and a bit years since then I have had that thought almost every day.
“No… seriously…. those kids are mine???”
Those two crazy girls, that are so alike in every way, yet so incredibly different. Who love each other with a passion and bond that I can’t even begin to understand. Izzy, with her serious face that breaks into a crazy, lopsided smile. Zoe who starts off being shy but later will break out her wicked gappy grin. These two girls who exclaim with total sincerity after each ballet lesson “That is the best thing I’ve ever done in my whole life”. These two girls who love mermaids and princesses, hanging in the shed with their Daddy and jumping on the trampoline. Those two tiny babies who took only one breath on their own when they were born enough to let out a cry to prove to us just how stubborn they are. Those two girls are mine.
I look at them sleeping each night and get that familiar pang – a combination of fear, amazement and love. No way Universe… no way…. how did I get to be the mother of twins? How did I get to be so lucky?
Happy Belated Birthday to the Twinadoes! It can take your breath away sometimes, to think of all you’ve been through and remind yourself how wonderful it is to have these children in your life. I’m so glad that you were lucky and that you have 2 healthy happy girls.
I know a little about the TTTS struggle – my very close friend lost one of her twins to it (the little one) and the bigger one was born at 28 weeks. He was barely over a kilo but amazingly he breathed on his own and now at age 5 1/2 has no major problems.
Oh Kate, that made me a little teary. I remember following your journey and I guess never quite realising how touch and go it was for your girls back then, in utero.
Happy belated birthday to your beautiful girls, glad they had a great birthday.
xx Jodie
PS – Is the 5yr thing freaking you out a bit? It is to me!! Where did that go?
Thank you and the Baldy Boy for our beautiful grand daughters and the five years of love, laughter and the occasional tear, with many more to follow. “The remover of obstacles” has been there and will always keep an eye on them. You are lucky to have them but they are also lucky to have you as parents.
Wahhh that made me all blubbery.
Beautiful xxxx
Even with my singley born children I sometimes stop and think “what on earth did I ever do to deserve this one?” ;) lol
Oh *sob* that has made me very emotional! Happy Birthday to the girls!
It is so important to reflect on the good fortune we receive. As with Bettina I look at my singles and cannot believe how lucky I am. To have outplayed the odds like you did with your beautiful twins, must really be an amazing feeling.
Awww. They are blessed to have you too Kate.
They are amazing little spirits!
I can’t believe Izzy and Zoe are five. Wow. Happy belated Birthday to them!
Your post is gorgeous. I am in awe, actually, that you made it through everything you did with those precious girls. Well done to you on just getting through such a scary ride. And congratulations on 5 years of great mothering!
What an amazing post! Your girls are beautiful. A belated happy birthday to them! :)
Oh Kate…this touched me deeply. My boys had TTTS as well. It was terrifying and poor little Snap was basically shrink-wrapped when he was born. I’m glad both of us had happy endings. I’m often reminded, though, that it could have been a very sad one indeed.