Every now and then I have these bone chilling moments when I can’t quite believe this is my life.
Usually things are whizzing past me so quickly that I don’t have time to stop and think, I just keep doing, keep going and all is well with the world.
But sometimes… sometimes it hits me like a tonne of bricks…
These are MY children.
I have twins.
I, me, I.
I have a boy child who is almost five, and one who is almost two.
Four. 4. FOUR.
I remember the day they told me there was two in there, the day I knew something was terribly wrong and the tiny little fleeting cry that told me they were born alive.
I remember how tiny they were and how long the days in hospital seemed and how much longer they seemed once they were home and refusing to eat and crying and crying.
I remember the last days before my big boy was born when I was sure I could never birth a baby on my own. And then I remember how freaking awesome I thought I was after I did in fact birth him, all 4.6 kgs of him, on my own. (ok I still may think I’m rather awesome because of that.)
I remember how big my girls seemed the morning they met their brother.
I remember the day when Morgan was only 8 weeks old and we rushed from the library trailing blood with three of Zoe’s teeth smashed beyond repair.
I remember the day he wore his frilly skirt and hard hat to the shop, and his beautiful white curls.
I remember the week before Noah was born. How it was full of trips to the airport and ballet rehearsals and birthday dinners for my big boy. I remember not even realising how close I was to having a baby until minutes before he was born, and I remember crying the day after because I was missing the girls’ ballet concert even though I had been at everyone before then and everyone one since.
I remember the day my father-in-law died.
I remember ballet concerts, and first days, and appointments.
I remember the day we bought this house.
I remember the day I called an ambulance.
I remember first steps, and birthdays and Christmases.
I remember water running down the inside of our walls, and meeting friends for the first time and the way they tell me they love me.
It’s all there, jumbling around in my head and I sometimes I can’t believe that any of these memories, these people, this life, belongs to me.
Then I remember how lucky I am.
What are you remembering?
Feel free to write your own remembering post, or leave a comment telling me your rememberings. There is no rules, no time frames, no official linky… but if you’d like to join in, please do! If you blog a remembering please leave me a comment with the link so I can come read it and share it.
Read the comments or scroll down to add your own:
Jodie Van Der Zwan says
What a beautiful remembering post. Thank you for sharing…
What a beauty journey…families are divine little communities arent they??
I remember so many of these things too.
Actually I remember the first day I met you. It was at playgroup in the suburbs. We were down from Bris for my big boy’s first birthday! And you walked in with two little baby girls in rainbow beanies.
It can’t possibly be so long ago can it?
You know I remember that day too and we still have those hats…. *sigh*
[email protected] says
I am remembering lots tonight. My grandma passed away today. After 39 years I no longer have any grandparents on earth. It is kind of weird but I also know that I am so grateful to have had grandparents who were such a big part of my life for so long. And as I look at my own kids growing up so fast, I know that we all need to sometimes sit back, take a breath and take it all in x
I am so sorry for your loss Martine.
I hope you have been able to spend time remembering your Grandma and being thankful for her life… it’s times like these that really seem to open our eyes to all the wonderful things we have isn’t it.
Thanks for this post. I needed it today.
tahlia -the parenting files says
I am rembering ow it seems only yesterday I had just one baby. The relentless feeling and most scary but awesome feeling. And now she is such a bigger girl, cheeker then ever and my little man is 7 weeks…. Oiiiveyy :) xx
Lauren Burke says
omg, I know that picture of the girls in cloth, I’m 99.9999999% sure we had it up at Nappy Network stalls and on brochures !!!! still so very cute !! :) Lauren
p.s. great post, my kids are growing up way too fast too :)
Beautiful post. They grow up so fast.
Nat - Muddy Farmwife says
Oh my goodness I am teary such a lovely remembering post.
beautiful post Kate. I can so relate to that. sometimes I feel like my life is so mundane and I wonder how I let it be and then other days I wonder how I got to be 36, with this husband, children etc. I think back to when I was 20, I wouldn’t have even imagined.