This too shall pass…
This too shall pass…
This too shall pass…
I said it to myself over and over as I sat between two baby hammocks rock, rock, rocking two screaming babies in a vain attempt to get them to sleep.
I said it through gritted teeth as a three and a half year old raged on the floor of the supermarket.
I said it with tears streaming down my cheeks as I was sure my heart would break for myself and my child.
I said it with utter exhaustion when I was sure I couldn’t do this any longer.
I’ve said it alot, and I’ll say it again I am sure, many times… but it’s different now.
Now I say it with the knowledge that it really will pass. It will pass because it has passed before.
Those screaming twin babies are nine now and they are too big to rock to sleep. The three year old is almost six and can mostly keep himself together at the shops, at least enough to walk to the car. My heart didn’t break, it grew, and I surprised myself with how much longer I could keep going when I needed to.
All those things passed… and I survived, we all survived.
And now I say with a new understanding.
This too shall pass…
One day my girls will be grown and gone. Soon my big boy will not want me to hold his hand as we face school together. Soon the insanity of a toddler will be the insanity of a teenager.
These moments, the difficult moments that are mixed in around all the good moments, soon they will all have passed. Soon my babies will be grown and I will wonder how I forgot to find joy when I was just trying to make it through alive.
What are you struggling with right now?
What do you hope will pass soon?
And what will you miss about it when it does pass?
Nathalie Brown says
At the moment I struggle seeing my Miss 17 surrounded by books and an intense amount of study as she finishes year 12 and sits IB exams. I tell her it will pass that it is more than likely her toughest year. I support her and make her hot chocolate and give her back rubs.
katef says
I hope I am as great a Mum as you are Nat when my kids are facing the last years of school….
Jess H says
Thanks for this post..I needed to read this this morning! We’re into the second week of 4.30am starts with out 2, almost 3 yr old, and it’s so hard not to feel totally in despair with tiredness and frustration that he just wont do what i want him to! that combined with the wondering about when, if ever, will we ever get a lie in again!
Came upon your blog after searching ‘why don’t reward charts work for my son’, and read your post with interest! He’s just not interested in getting stickers, he’d rather get up at 4.30 thank you.
Ps, he’s nowhere near potty trained either!
Thanks for the blog, will keep an eye on it from now on as it seems I’m not the only parent without a textbook fully contented toddler :-)
katef says
You are most certainly not the only one… in fact I have had four non-text book toddlers so unless I am doing something drastically wrong I’d say that creature doesn’t really exist!
Once day their intrinsic motivation and stubbornness will stand our kids in good stead… till them we just have to hang on and enjoy the ride as much as we can!
Maxabella says
It’s my daily mantra. All the passing, all the tooing and yet more passing and tooing to do. x
katef says
I think I’m going to have it printed on a t-shirt… or several, so I can wear it every single day till they leave home!
Alana says
i love this post, was definitely good for me to read as I’m sitting outside my toddlers room trying desperately hard to get her to sleep as she talks and cries and throws her babies out of the bed…ahhh…this shall pass!
katef says
It will get better… I promise.
My worst sleeper is now, at age five, my best sleeper!
[email protected] says
I always say the best advice you can give a new mother is ‘it gets easier’ because sometimes it’s hard to see that when things are tough. Great post and I love that I’m not alone. lol
Erin - The Usual Mayhem says
Great post, Kate! I used to keep “That which doesn’t kill me can only make me stronger” {paraphrase} on my fridge when my kids were smaller and I still chant it under my breath although the things that I worry about and think I can’t stand another minute are different. I don’t know that it gets easier or if we are just better able to cope a few years down the road.
katef says
Oh and now I am singing that song in my head! LOL
And in fact I had a recent discussion with one of my girls about that very saying and I think it helped her be more resilient… at least I hope so!
Veggie mama says
Sleep… oh the sleep. Peps wakes about 8 times a night, four if I’m lucky. Sometimes they’re both awake in the middle of the night and I’m so tired it hurts. Not sure what I will miss when they start sleeping better!
katef says
Ah see now I have the utter joy of only being woken once.. maybe twice in the night. Who’d have thought that would be a good thing!?! LOL
Terri says
And you know what, it’s okay if you DON’T miss it when is passes. :) I have a feeling you won’t remember it as hard as it feels in the moment, though. Keep up the good work! You can do it!
Jodie Moss says
struggling with no sleep, my eldest lying and feeling like i am failing at this whole parentung gig
katef says
Ah Jodie they are some hard yards aren’t they.
I hope the mantra is especially true for you and you come out the other end of the tunnel into the sunshine of better days.
Ariadne - Positive Parenting Connection says
Loved this post! I shared it on our community page because I’m sure like me, many parents can relate. It’s so true, there are often great moments and very difficult moments intertwined but somehow that’s what makes the whole parenting thing amazing, well at least I think so :)
Kate says
This is a good reminder to take a deep breath, and focus on the positives. I have gone back to work recently, and feel like I am failing as a mother as I can’t do the things I used to do. My kids are 3 and 5 and I feel like I am missing out on so much right now. Reading this makes me realise it is just a phase – like when they were babies and I thought a good night sleep was impossible, and when I thought they would never wee in a toilet! I know I will get used to the change in routine and that my kids will be fine no matter how much I work. It’s just that ‘mother guilt’ working over time. Cheers Kate
Terri says
I can relate! I had to go back to work when my baby girl was 3 months old. Now she’s 17 months and I’m STILL not used to it. Mommy guilt will crush us. Let go. We are loving our kids, taking care of ourselves and supporting our families the only way we can right now. They know how much we love them. It’s built into the bond in our hearts :) You’re doing great!
Sarah Lou says
Preach it sister.
I have four kids and for one of them I have gone through a lot of this too shall pass, now he is 14, won’t have photos, bribed to I’ve his mum a cuddle and I miss a lot, so much that little boy. I want him back. But also I’m loving this man that’s forming.
The younger three kids I’m holding on to as much as I can
Terri says
I loved this post. I know so many mom’s in different stages of motherhood and it seems like we are ALL going through phases of “this too shall pass.” And doesn’t it pass so quickly? Mine is sleep struggles and the exertion of a strong will! But, just like I thought I’d never get more than two hours of sleep at a time, never be able to take a break at work that didn’t involve a breast pump, never be able to do anything after dinner other than pace the floors with a colicky baby, this too shall pass. Thank you for the lovely and gentle reminder, and the chance to share and remember we aren’t alone :)
Uchenn says
Yes, they do pass eventually, it’s just so difficult to focus on it passing, as our minds get so wrapped up in the present. But yes, that’s something I like to tell myself when I’m going through a ruff spot, something I’ve been experiencing quite often of recent, though nothing drastic, it’s all subjective.