What is Really Important?

I have a list of ‘important things’ that I need to do.
Things that I need to do, that I really should do.

But what is really important?

I feel reckless, and even guilty, when I ignore the list, but sometimes the pull towards other things that needs to take priority.

Sometimes I need to spend time cuddling my smallest child.
His barely fits on my lap any more and as I tuck his head under my chin he seems to have gotten so big without any warning and suddenly it seems so very important to allow him to be my baby every now and then.

Sometimes I need to be silly with my big boy.
My pelvic floor won’t thank me for jumping on the trampoline, but my nine year old will. He’s so grown up these days, yet still so little, and the tween mood swings are infuriating, but not today, not when I double bounce him and he explodes into laughter.

Sometimes I need to sit and chat with my girl.
I feel the silence of the things she already doesn’t tell me, and I’m trying so hard to be ok with that because it seems such an important part of becoming your own self. But connecting and chatting about nothing much, even when she is supposed to be in bed seems more important than anything today.

Sometimes I need to hold my girl a little longer.
I know I won’t always be there to hold her, but I am here now. If I can make her world feel a little smaller and a little safer by holding on just a little tighter, just a little longer then I won’t let go, not yet.

Sometimes I need to watch crappy TV with my husband and talk rubbish.
It’s during these frivolous, silly, conversations that I realise how much of our communication is business like – Can you pick this kid up here? Can you grab this at the supermarket? Are you paying that bill or will I? A a little while spent refining our zombie apocalypse plan, or making a list of all the things we’d do if we won 12 million in lotto might not be as good as a fancy date night, but it’s enough.

Sometimes I need to plonk myself down and just stop.
There is weight in these days of parenting that I never realised, and sometimes I just need to put it down for a few moments and rest so I can go on. So I can do all these other important things