I don’t watch much TV and I usually have no clue about any media controversy unless I happen to see some tweets about it. Even then, I usually ignore those tweets and normally I would never tweet or blog about them. Mostly I’m just not interested in what some sensationalising TV show or journalist says about pretty much anything.
Yesterday I saw lots of tweets relating to nasty comments made by a journalist about Julie Goodwin’s appearance. Initially I ignored them. I know who Julie Goodwin is, I am not a fan of Master Chef but I saw a few episodes of the series she won and I quite like her style, but I always feel that buying into that kind of controversy only gives more weight to the nastiness that began it. But for some reason, I decided to click on a link, late last night, and I read Julie’s blog post in response to the criticism.
It’s a fabulously well written post about why judging someone based purely on their appearance is ignorant, but what hit home for me was this little paragraph…
As far as what I owe to myself and my children, I owe them food that is cooked from scratch, using as many fresh ingredients and as few additives as possible. I owe them mealtimes around the family table. I owe them the very best of myself, which includes (but is not limited to) keeping myself healthy via plenty of exercise, fresh air, fresh food and laughter. I owe them a broad world view and an education that includes how to be a compassionate human being. I owe them a safe home and a community surrounding them that loves them. And I owe it to them to be self-confident and self-loving so that they can feel the same no matter whether or not they end up looking like Brad Pitt.
This is the kind of mother I want to be.
The kind that creates a happy, healthy home for my children. The kind that cooks love into our meals. The kind who welcomes everyone into our home, regardless of what they look like or where they come from. The kind who can always stretch a meal for one more guest. The kind that finds the love in keeping of our home. The kind that values herself so that her children learn how important it is to value themselves. The kind that finds strength and love from judgement and hate.
Funny… This is not the post I intended to write today. It just sort of happened and perhaps that is a good thing.
I am not one to make new years resolutions, I never manage to keep them for more than a week any way. Perhaps this year I will spend a little time pondering the type of person I want to be. The type of mother, wife, friend, blogger I want to be… and this has been a great start.
What type of mother do you want to be?
If I could manage to be half the woman she describes then I would be very happy.
I think a lot about what I want my kids to be and the most important to me is confident. So I want to be the sort of mother who nurtures confidence, by doing what julie so eloquently described.
I’m so glad you wrote this, Kate. I’m totally media/TV ignorant really, apart from seeing a few tweets and I had started to wonder about this whole issue as I’d seen so many tweets. And I love the paragraph you highlighted. This is how I want to be too.
That is me too… I usually stay well away from this kind of thing, but something made me click on a tweeted link, and I am so glad I did.
Good on you Kate! I just learned about the “issue” a few minutes ago and that paragraph hit me too. Because at this stage, being a better mum/wife/friend is more worthwhile than spending precious time on anything else. Happy New Year to you & your family!
You are so right!
Spending time feeling bad about your appearance, or worrying about someone else’s, is such a waste of a precious life!
Fantastic post.
I want my kids to remember a mother who could be found either cooking, sewing, gardening or just creating.
And a mother, who they know will be there for them
you haven’t come up in my feed for ages, but love the post (and JG’s!) :)
Great post Kate. So much common sense in that paragraph from Julie Goodwin, I think it sounds like it could be a manifesto for contemporary motherhood.
I feel the same… it sums up so many of my goals for parenting.
Yes- I want to be that kind of mother too. I hadn’t heard about Julie Goodwin until I read your post, but i clicked over to her post too and it IS really well written. We all have so much more to our lives than it looks like from the outside. If we can suspend our judgements we can learn from one another and be better off for it.
Yes that’s a great paragraph you have outlined Kate. I would like to think I am doing or attempting all those things Julie describes although I am tipping she is all over me in the cooking department! Thanks for highlighting some of the many wonderful gifts we can give our children.
Food for thought.
Our counselor asked me yesterday what kind of person I wanted to be, outside of a wife and mother, who am I. Man it is hard to answer that questions.
I am me, is apparently not good enough.
I’ve been pondering that question a bit lately too…
Perhaps the point is that we need to live with ‘intention’ not just go through the motions and see how it all turns out. I find that much easier to do when it comes to parenting… but discovering my person goals/intentions seems much harder right now…
I agree that asking what we want of ourselves is a difficult, but neccesary question. I love what Ms Goodwin said and think all of those are noble as a mother. But my answer would be just a bit different, catered to me as an individual. I want to be an example for my children of what a Christian looks like, someone who is generous, someone who is conscious of themselves and their environment, both the people and the physical world, someone who loves and laughs and creates beautiful things and makes magical memories, someone who loves herself and those around her. This was an excellent article and a great question. :)
I like that, live with ‘intention’. The end of last year was hard, with external issues really draining us as a family and I know I ended the year just going through the motions.
I have loved a book I read recently called “Cinderella Ate My Daughter”, by Peggy Orenstein. It is a diatribe against the way girls are expected to define themselves by their appearance, and – worse and worse – that their feelings are defined by their appearance. It’s a great read – funny, witty, clever, easy-going.
I would like to be the kind of mother who my children know will accept them, whatever, whoever, however, whenever they turn up on the doorstep, for the rest of my life and theirs. When I say “accept”, I mean “throw my arms round them and give them a huge huge huge bear hug”.