Why I don’t Hide Veggies in my Kid’s Food.
A few years back it was all the rage in parenting circles to puree the heck out of veggies and hide them in more ‘kid friendly food’.
Someone made a fortune selling a recipe book full of ways to hide veggies in spag bol and sausage rolls. Someone made a fortune cashing in on one of parenting’s guilt inducing hotspots – how to get your kids to eat.
Recently I’ve seen this kind of idea resurface again and it’s bugging me.
I know that getting kids to eat can sometimes be a battle.
I know because I’ve been there, I am still there.
I have one child who has very, very specific tastes and who has spent large portions of her life eating a very narrow selection of food.
I admit it has gotten me down. I have worried about it, yelled about it, pleaded, cried and spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to come up with food that she will eat.
I briefly courted the idea of hiding veggies (and other foods) she didn’t like in food that she did like, but it just doesn’t sit well with me.
If I want her to broaden her tastes and try more foods, how does disguising that food work towards that goal?
How will she know how good peas can taste if I am always hiding their flavour with other foods?
How will she know she has even eaten a pea if I constantly lie to her about what she is eating?
Will she grow up to be an adult who still needs her mum to puree veggies and smuggle them onto her dinner plate?
It just doesn’t make sense to me as a long term solution.
But what really gets to me is the deception.
If she eats the peas hidden in the sausage rolls (which she wouldn’t because she doesn’t eat pastry, unless it is on my homemade meat pie, but only if it’s crispy all over – see I told you I had experience with picky eaters) and then I tell her that I tricked her into eating her most hated vegetable, how can I expect her to trust me?
Sure, I want her to eat and I want meal times to be easier to manage, but I want her to trust me more.
Not only does this method erode trust, but it associates food and eating with lying and deception. I want her to have a healthy understanding and relationship with food now, and in the future. There are already enough negative messages about food and eating and weight out there without me adding to it.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think adding pureed veggies to recipes is bad.
I do it all the time to add nutrition, extend the amount of food, make recipes more budget friendly, or tastier, but it is not done as a trick or hidden from my family.
Over the years I have all but given up on the guilt over what my kids eat and I have worked on accepting what and how they eat is part of who they are and how they are growing up.
I haven’t given up on trying to get my picky child to eat, but I have accepted that she won’t starve herself and that she knows when she is hungry and when she is not.
I try to work with my picky eater’s likes and dislikes – ok so she may not like peas but what other green vegetable might she eat? What does she love that could go with those veggies? She will eat an enormous plate of roasted broccoli drowned in mint sauce, but she still won’t touch a pea.
I haven’t given up on trying to get her broaden her tastes, but I have accepted that she is allowed to have likes and dislikes.
I give her lots and lots of opportunities to try new foods, and to retry old foods, to talk about why she doesn’t like them, why I think she should try them, what may have changed about them or her over the years, and then we try it all again in a different way, but without tricks or guilt trips.
I also don’t cook a different meal for her. I try to avoid meals that she entirely dislikes, but we don’t ban them all together. In those cases she is dished up a small serving, but usually chooses to eat a piece of fruit or raw veggies that she gets herself, and I am ok with that.
I also give her the chance to say no… politely. The rule in our house is ‘you don’t have to eat it but you may not be rude about it.’
And I say again and again and again to myself and to everyone else (I even sing it) that ‘everybody likes different things, and that’s ok‘.
I can totally understand why in extreme cases, or for kids who have sensory issues, pureeing food might be the answer to your prayers… but for me and my picky eater, we’ll just keep trying.
She’s still a picky eater, and probably always will be… but I am ok with that. Sometimes it drives me batty, but I am ok with that too.
I am ok with that because I know when she does eat she eats well.
I am ok with that because I know she is still growing and developing and changing and so are her tastes in food.
I am ok with that because that is who she is and I love her.
Do you have a picky eater? How do you manage it?
{Image adapted from this one by Matt Bidulph}
You make some very good points!
We don’t hide veggies, but I understand why some do.
My 3 y.o. is sometimes picky about certain vegetables – and I think that’s okay. I certainly don’t like every vegetable! So we just choose the ones she likes, and continue to offer others – she is very good about trying new foods, because she knows if she doesn’t like it, she won’t be forced to eat it. All she has to do is try. Our family is happy with this arrangement. :)
I think that is a really good point… we as adults have likes and dislikes and would be astounded if someone tried to force us or trick us into eating something we choose not to.
Such an interesting article Kate. My little one has always been a good eater, until recently. I don’t know what has changed but we are taking the same approach as you in not making separate meals and avoiding foods that are known to be *gulp* thrown! I will always encourage my little one to at least try something new and then make the decision to continue eating it or not. Great post.
Yes one very picky eater who won’t eat beans unless the seeds are removed but still gags , never a pea nor corn not broccoli either but he will eat raw baby spinach leaves with white condiment (caesar salad) and prefers raw carrot to cooked. It is easy to give him spinach and raw carrot (sometimes he’ll eat cucumber /lettuce) Wen we have cooked veg.He hates mince but eats other meat no problem.
I accept he has sensory issues and I try not to force the issue.
I totally agree about not hiding the veggies in meals and the reasons you give for not doing it. I’ve been blessed with three little kids who will try almost anything and have great appetitites. It’s only when I’m with other peoples kids (some of whom can be extremely fussy) that I realise what a great blessing this is. I wrote two posts a few months ago about how to get your kids to love healthy food that might be helpful:
http://www.allaboutmama.com/2013/05/13/how-to-get-your-kids-to-love-healthy-food/
http://www.allaboutmama.com/2013/06/27/more-ideas-for-how-to-get-your-kids-to-love-healthy-food/
Great post – pinned. :) We put veggies in tons of meals, but my kids are right by my side when I do it. (Well not all the time, but you get my point.) My oldest loves to use the cheese grater, so he is often the one shredding carrots and zucchini to stick in food. I always serve veggies on the side in addition to what is in the food. I only have one picky eater out of four, and I have no suggestions. I don’t force him to eat anything, but I still serve it to him. I try to be conscious and respectful of his tastes without making him a separate meal every night, if that makes sense. Hopefully one of these days he realizes how awesome veggies are – ha!
I have never fully understood the hiding vegges thing personally, but I do love the point you make about trust. I have a picky eater in my son, he loves fruit and carrot but hates brocolli, potato…im ok with it. Im sure his food likes and dislikes will change a lot over the period of his life.
Here’s the thing: I hide the veggies AND offer them up whole at the same time. Win for me and (hopefully one day) win for them…
There has never been a trust issue for me because I simply make the food how I make it and the actual ingredient list has never really come up. So, I guess it’s not really ‘hiding’, rather it’s about making more nutritious versions of recipes to begin with. For instance, my (very delicious) roast meat gravy contains carrots, zucchinis, sweet potato and pumpkin and it gets devoured – but the carrots, zucchinis and pumpkin I serve it up with do not.
x
I think there is a difference between adding pureed veggies to meals because it makes them taste better or is budget friendly (As I said I do that all the time, adding cauli and broc and carrot to my meat balls makes them taste loads better and I can make twice as much from half the meat!) etc… and purposely trying to deceive or trick your kids.
And now I am going to invite myself over for some of that gravy!!!
Thank you — I _so_ agree with you!
So long,
Corinna
I puree veggies to put into meals, but I tell the kids they are there. I agree that lying to kids isn’t good. My 8 year old has turned into a good eater. She loves to cook, and loves to eat food we have grown ourselves. We are in the fortunate position where we can grow most of our vegetables. We also allow our kids to say no (politely) to foods they don’t want, though we don’t offer an alternative if they don’t want it. I think the worst thing you can do is turn food into a battle. The parent will always lose, and there are so many other things that are more important to battle. If they are eating some vegetables and are getting all their nutrients, then I am happy!
You are so right… that age old saying ‘Pick your battles’ is never more appropriate than when we are talking about food!
I totally agree. Also tricking kids into eating vegies assumes that it is the taste that they don’t like. When it might be something else, like the texture or colour or even just the idea of them. I loved vegies but hated meat as a kid and once my parents hid mince in something and didn’t tell me until afterwards. The result was that I immediately became suspicious of everything they offered me and stopped eating a whole heap of no-meat things because I thought there might be meat hidden in them (like porridge!). I was always called a ‘picky eater’ but now as an adult, even though I still don’t eat meat it’s much more acceptable (I’m called a ‘vegetarian’!). Maybe it’s because of my ‘picky eating’ history but I always give my kids something else if they don’t like what I cook – just a PB sandwich or eggs or something simple, it only takes 2 mins. They’re a bit little to go and get something for themselves and I don’t like the idea of them going to be hungry because I’ve chosen to cook something they don’t like.
Great post! We have a similar rule. You don’t gave to eat it all but you do have to TRY it. Doesn’t always work but sometimes the kids realise its not that bad. I was a terribly picky eater as a kid but am much better now so have hope that she will expand her tastes when she’s ready.
I loved this post. We feel the same way about tricking the kids. I always serve at least two if not three courses in a French manner. The first is vegetables of some kind, usually cold. The second course has vegetables, carbs and sometimes extra protein. The final course is either cheese or fruit sometimes a course of each. The rule we follow is that you don’t have to like it but you have to try it. That way I know that they have given it a chance. We don’t make a different meal for anyone; what is for dinner is what is for dinner. We don’t snack between meals. It is that simple. Yes my 2 1/2 year old is starting to get picky but at the same time, he always tries everything. Some days he loves cucumbers, other days he swears he doesn’t but he always has to take one bite. If he doesn’t like it (today) fine, he can sit at the table with the family and wait until the next course. There is always something he likes and as long as there is extra, he can have as much as he wants. Hiding veggies though? Only to stretch a meal and even then I tell them straight up what is in it. How else will they know what to request in the future?
I was a picky eater, and its not until I became a mother I understood how hard that was for my mum. She tried everything to make me eat which just made me more stubborn. It wasn’t until I moved out and started cooking for my husband who eats everything that I started to try different things when no one was looking with no pressure. I even tried cheese for the first time in a very long time the other day at the age of 29! I hide veg in my own food but it puts me off, I’d much rather see what I’m eating, luckily my son takes after his dad and eats most things.
Excellent post Kate. We don’t do hiding veggies and on the occasions when we have visited families that do hide veggies my girls can taste them. Kids with high sensory needs seem to notice minor changes in taste / texture that most people wouldn’t.
I far prefer honesty and stick with our policy of serving mostly make it yourself meals where I offer a variety of ingredients and the kids put their taco/burger/plate of whatever together.
Great points! We are so blessed to have little boy that likes veggies and fruit. I never had to hide them. Sometimes I did have to put out dip.
My son is almost 3 and is obsessed with cooking. He is by my side cooking all of the time so he sees what goes in our food. To me it’s not about hiding the veggies in food it’s about adding another ingredient needed in my recipes. I’ve always added things like pureed butternut squash in cheese sauce (mostly because I think it adds so much delicious richness) and shredded zucchini and carrots in my spaghetti sauce. I feel it’s another way of maximizing your meal and making it budget and healthy friendly. He doesn’t always eat everything in it’s original form but he is learning respect for cooking with vegetables to make them more palatable for ones tastes.
My middle boy was so into cooking at that age too… it still makes my heart sing to find him by my side when I cook dinner at age six and I hope his love of cooking remains. :)
We also add pureed veggies to meals. As I said in the post I don’t have a problem with the pureed veggies, we use them often to add nutrition and flavour and make meals more budget friendly. What I have a problem with is the deception and the fact that I don’t think it actually helps kids eat better.
I agree, a great article. I would like to just throw into the mix that food allergies can often make a child repeatedly refuse a certain food. The mention of peas reminds me of a friend who was forced to eat peas as a child and discovered as an adult that they were allergic to legumes. Something to keep in mind :-)
I want to thank you for this post! This is something I have thought every single time I have seen one of those books pop up about hiding veggies. I have always been a strong believer in a kid will eat what they are served when they are young, if a child is given fast food all the time then that’s what they will develop a taste for, if a child is given healthy food at a young age then the same holds true. I know that not every child is going to like the taste of every food you give them no matter what, but like you said there are lots of ways to encourage eating healthy without having to hide the healthy stuff in junk. I am very glad that you also pointed out that it’s ok to cook or bake foods that people may think of as unhealthy or something that normally wouldn’t have a veggie in it, and add veggies to it to health it up a bit. I worked as a cook in a preschool for a while and a few meetings I had with the other staff including my supervisor who was a registered dietician(the job that I’m aiming to do eventually), they talked about hiding foods to get the kids to eat them without knowing it. I kick myself for not speaking up now and unfortunately getting some of the kids to eat certain foods was darn near impossible, but we also were not their parents. To a certain extent it’s kind of a “monkey see, monkey do” situation, if a child see’s the people they are around the most, or the people they look up to, including other kids, eat a certain thing, a lot of times they’ll be more willing to try it themselves. I’ve had issues with my kids all of a sudden deciding they don’t like something that they’ve loved since forever because of my nephew who is older than them and my children idolize, he is one of those kids who would eat candy and ketchup with bread for every meal if he could and tells my kids how disgusting the foods that they like are, very very frustrating.
Sorry for the long rambling post, I get carried away when it comes to talk about nutrition and kids, your writing makes me very happy though and I plan to try to point other people in this direction to give them some “food for thought”. Thanks again!
The whole picky eater thing is my biggest frustration. If I were to make family meals based on what my son would eat, we’d be eating nothing but grains and/or cheese in a whopping 6 different forms (several of which are loaded with sugar) for every single meal. So practically every meal I make is one my son won’t eat. Unless I make him his bowl of oatmeal or tortilla and melted cheese rollup, he will not eat, and I have seen him go close to a week eating literally nothing (and when I say literally, I mean the actual definition of the word, meaning he actually consumed ZERO calories for almost a week). I hate when people tell me “Just make him eat”. How exactly am I supposed to do that? Insert a feeding tube? Or should I just pinch his nose shut and when he opens his mouth to breathe cram food in there, Indiana Jones style? Oh, I should just let him go hungry a meal or two, then he’ll learn to eat whats served, eh? No one is ever able to answer how many days its safe to let a 5 year old go with nothing but water. They just blink at me like my question doesn’t make any sense. They can’t fathom a child going more than a single meal. Well my child has! My child has skipped dozens of meals IN A ROW!!!!! Kids won’t starve themselves, eh? I’m pretty sure mine will. Which is why that Ellen Satyr crap won’t work with my kid. Yeah, I’ve tried it.
To top all this off, my son has food allergies!
I would kill to be able to sneak anything into the six food items my son eats. I agree it’s not the best philosophy but when you deal with the level of pickiness I deal with, you get pretty desperate. Unfortunately it’s not an option for us because he can ALWAYS tell, and he will not eat adulterated food. But I think it’s worth pointing out to all defenders of this method that the teaspoon of puréed cauliflower you mix in with a kid’s Kraft Mac and Cheese is a drop in the crap food bucket. It’s not making your kid’s food any healthier. Your kids need WAY more veggies to meet the minimum requirements of 5 servings a day than what those recipes can ever provide, and the minimum requirements are not the optimal requirements of 10 a day.
We are getting my son occupational therapy. We think its a sensory disorder. We’ve been on a wait list for months and now finally we are starting in a few weeks. I look forward to hopefully being able to cook one family meal, but if this doesn’t work, I’m resigned to cooking two meals until my son is old enough to cook for himself because I don’t want to be that parent who accidentally starves her child to death in a food battle of wills, which is exactly what will happen if I follow everyone else’s advice on this matter.
And just for the record, I know the problem isn’t my parenting because my other child eats everything. Last night for dinner she had roasted cauliflower, artichoke, pork shoulder with poblano pesto, and a couple of bites of quesadilla. My son had half a tortilla with melted cheese. :-/
It’s not bad parenting Jessica. If you don’t have sensory issues it is hard to understand how disgusting certain textures can be or worse, to combine different textures. Smells can be truly overwhelming and just the idea or look of certain foods make them repulsive. It’s not a case of being picky or fussy or spoiled if you find a lot of foods revolting. Getting pressured about it just makes you stressed which affects your stomach and makes it even harder to eat.
Fruit can also be an issue because it can be messy to eat. Muffins can be handy for getting fruit into them even if you have to add a handful of choc. chips to make them more attractive. I agree that adding a spoonful or two of purée to a family meal isn’t enough to make a difference and if you top it off with “guess what you just ate” you are doomed. Your son will eat more variety in the future, although he may always be fussy by some peoples standards. I speak from personal experience. I once lived on tinned macaroni cheese for months, much to my mother’s despair ! I’ve turned out alright.
Totally agree with it all! I swear my family and house must work the same as yours in relation to eating. Nice to know someone else out there thinks this way and is willing to say it!