My head is racing with a million thoughts… going a mile a minute and I can’t seem to stop it!
It’s been a lot like that with life in general the past few weeks, every day we just seem to have another hundred things to add to our ‘must do’ list. Being busy is not bad, having a million new ideas and directions to move in isn’t bad, but I feel like one of those cartoon characters who has been donged on the head who’s eyes are doing that weird back and forth thing….
We’ve celebrated Blessingways and new babies, 30th birthdays and 2nd birthdays, family days out and family events. I’ve dealt with sick kids, and worse.. sick husband! The sudden burst of sunshine and the arrival of our spring seeds kicked us up the butt to try and get the vegie garden ready for planting again (oh we are so far off that LOL). My brain is fried trying to sort out tax and medicare and FTB, add to that trying to work out PS illustrator and looking for a new car. I am putting in time at PBP organising the big birthday bash (go check out the forums now for more info and we are speed scrapping and chatting this Friday so come play with us!), and my brain is spewing out all these creative design ideas that I can barely get down on paper let alone find time to create them! I can’t keep up with my own brain!
I had ‘placenta brain’ BAD while pregnant. I lost the ability to figure out days, dates and times. I would double book myself all the time, read dates wrong on the calendar and turn up for appointments two days early or 6 hours late, or simply get to the end of the week and realise we had missed two or three previously arranged and much anticipated events! It was living in a nice luke warm fog where everything whizzed past at an incredibly slow rate!
Now that I can’t blame Muski and his placenta for sucking the logic out of me I am left looking for other excuses.
Lack of sleep perhaps? Well maybe some days, but if you read my previous rambley hippy-la-la post you already know that we are doing ok on that front. Maybe my brain has been lost under the ever growing piles of laundry? (Have I blogged about Muski’s amazing impressions of a fountain yet?) Well that would only be true if I made even a half hearted attempt to keep up with the laundry. No one who has been in my house is ever going to buy that excuse! Maybe my brain simply can’t keep up with the idea that I have three children… heck I still look at the girls and wonder how on earth I ‘suddenly’ have twins.. let alone the sneaky little third one!
I think my brain is just confused.
Half of it is still back in the lazy days of blaming the placenta and enjoying the fog and half of it wants to run on ahead and plan and do all these exciting new things! And just like my girls – the two halves of my brain are having a roaring fight, complete with hair pulling and bites that draw blood and it remains to be seen which half will come out on top!
It leaves me feeling dazed and confused most days. I forget so many important things. I write a list every night for things I need to do the next day, I carry my ‘book of lists and important stuff’ around with me everywhere… but lists only work if you remember to check them, and then remember to do what it is you just read on the list.
Take today for instance… I wrote the list, I checked the list, I packed the car, I checked the list, I added things to the car I had forgotten, we headed over to my parents specifically so I could upload the chat freebie for Friday night… of course it wasn’t until I walked in the door here that I realised that I had left my stick disk with the files I needed to upload on it, still plugged into my PC… at HOME!!! ‘Wasn’t it on your list’ I hear you ask? Sure it was, I even remember checking the list, reading ‘stick disk’ and going back inside to get it… no idea what happened after that though. I think the ‘Baldy Boy’ may have talked to me on the way in and my brain grabbed on to his words and let the thought – ‘get the stick disk’ – fly straight out my ear! See it is total rebellion I tell you!
I could sit here and happily bash my head against the desk, lamenting my stupidity in coming half way across the city to upload a file that I left at home….. but that really wouldn’t help. So I am trying to just ‘let it go’ and maybe try and learn from all this. I need to figure out a way to slow things down again to a more manageable level… I need ‘systems’ to help me get things back under control and mostly to help me move on and do all the big things my brains so desperately seems to want to do, if only it could get out of the fog.
So stay tuned people… big things are coming…. just as soon as I figure out how to get the roller coaster ride (did you all know I am petrified of roller coasters????) that is my life to slow down and become a little bit more like a Merry-go-round (which is so much more my style!). All advice and suggestions on how to achieve this are greatly appreciated!